First Date Ideas....

[NoValidTitle]

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Originally Posted by mrplow /img/forum/go_quote.gif You're welcome. NH definitely is a lot of fun for the outdoors stuff, isn't it? And "Live Free or Die" is still the best state motto ever made. If you know that you are interested in her as more than just a friend, you have to lead her to the next step. I think what the 2 others were saying earlier, about getting into relationships with former good friends, were more of instances where things "just happened". In other words, the intention of friendship was MUTUAL at the beginning. Both parties had no idea of what was going to happen right about until it happened. It's obvious that this isn't the case here, as you clearly have a desire to pursue things on more than just a friends level when you first met this girl. The longer you wait, the more you'll be pushed into the friend zone. More importantly, it's how you act rather than length of time that determines which category you fall into. Be fun, challenging, don't do things looking for/expecting certain reactions, non-needy, and have a good time. For example, here's a great modified nugget of gold you might be able to use. When you're at the car show, hop into the backseat of a convertible, stretch back, and with an mischievous glint in your eye say "Hey... wanna do it?" As long as she's laughing and having a good time and flirting back, it's all good. And of course, when it comes down to it, you're going to have to escalate things to some kind of physical level. Just remember, don't hesitate, and the 4 base model most guys tend to use is complete bs. You know, 1st = kissing, 2nd = breastisis, 3rd = everything but, 4th = sex. Trust me if you don't already know this (and confirm this with your female friends), it's much easier and comfortable for her to go from talking => handholding => hair smelling/nuzzling => playful neck biting/hair pulling => kissing than trying to go from talking => kissing as most guys tend to do. Remember, guys = light switches, girls = volume knobs. One good, old way to tell if she's giving off signs of interest is to take her by the hand and lead her to another part of the club/convention/restaurant/whatever. As you're leading her give her hand a gentle squeeze. If she squeezes back, then things are probably going well. Anyway, I feel like I'm turning this into a Dr. ****ing Phil column (except with advice that can actually work ) , so I promise this is my last post on this thread. Good luck-- the rest is up to you.

Yeah NH was a blast, I didn't know about the state motto till I glanced at a plate and was like "Get the hell out, thats awesome!"

You are full of use full info. Some if it I already know and came from experience (the bases have always been BS). The suggestion for the car show will get used no doubt, she will get a kick out of it. I will give the hand squeeze a try also.

Haha this is way better then Dr. Phil will EVER be, this is actually usefull information. Much appreciated. Thanks!

 

[Vicomte]

I make a motion that mrplow gets a custom title. Something to the effect of 'Dr. Phil of Head-Fi".

 

[jmmtn4aj]

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Originally Posted by Vicomte /img/forum/go_quote.gif I make a motion that mrplow gets a custom title. Something to the effect of 'Dr. Phil of Head-Fi".

x2. Or 'resident people expert'

 

[Contrastique]

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Originally Posted by mrplow /img/forum/go_quote.gif Wait... what makes you so sure that you are one of those "cool, attractive women" I was referring to?

Oewww, yeah sorry hihi, I think I read over that one! Can't judge myself really so I was responding just as a woman

 

[Contrastique]

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Originally Posted by pne /img/forum/go_quote.gif not really.. then you break up and realize you suddenly lost your best friend too! I've made this mistake before and from now on relationships are kept seperate from friendships.

Ow well, Exceptions on rules must excist also. He got my best friend during the relationship. We are together for 2 years now and no clouds in the sky to be seen (so far). We also work together for 3 years now almost everyday, so if this works out for long longer time we have broken every rule and are meant to live long and happily ever after

Plus, you can't always play safe...that is sooo boring (to me). I don't regret the fact I started a relationship with my first best friend. If I wouldn't have done it I would have asked myself forever, what if......Now I know for sure. And yeahh it can be painfull.

 

[EnOYiN]

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Originally Posted by Contrastique /img/forum/go_quote.gif Oewww, yeah sorry hihi, I think I read over that one! Can't judge myself really so I was responding just as a woman

I think there are pictures of Contrastique somewhere on Head-Fi. Just look them up and judge for yourself.

I could even link to it, but I guess that wouldn't be on topic, so I won't.

 

[laxx]

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Originally Posted by Contrastique /img/forum/go_quote.gif I don't regret the fact I started a relationship with my first best friend. If I wouldn't have done it I would have asked myself forever, what if......Now I know for sure. And yeahh it can be painfull.

I did that once, almost twice. It was a very very bad experience for me. It felt quite awkward after the breakup because prior to that, I'd go to her for all of my problems, but after... There was simply no one to go to, at least for awhile. I learned after the first time and gave up the opportunity the 2nd time.

 

[Contrastique]

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Originally Posted by laxx /img/forum/go_quote.gif I did that once, almost twice. It was a very very bad experience for me. It felt quite awkward after the breakup because prior to that, I'd go to her for all of my problems, but after... There was simply no one to go to, at least for awhile. I learned after the first time and gave up the opportunity the 2nd time.

I am sorry to hear that.
Different people make different situations and choices. I hope you have met (or will meet) someone who will suit you well.

 

[laxx]

Yea, I've been with my current girlfriend for slightly over 4 years now. It's been a bumpy ride, but I'm loving it. =]

If only she'd understand my passion for this hobby. I've been tryign to get her to go speaker auditioning in Manhattan with me, but as of now, it's still a no go. Maybe one of these days, I'll trick her into going. =]

 

[NoValidTitle]

I wasn't going to bump the thread but since someone else did =)

More progress on my lady friend. She had a horse riding accident not long after we returned from NH which gave her a grade 2 concussion, and some bad scrapes. Shes starting to get better just having fears of riding. I did ask her if she'd like to go on a date once she is recovered, and she happily accepted!! She loves sushi so I'm thinking a nice Japanese restaurant, still working on what to do after food.

 

[Contrastique]

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Originally Posted by laxx /img/forum/go_quote.gif Yea, I've been with my current girlfriend for slightly over 4 years now. It's been a bumpy ride, but I'm loving it. =] If only she'd understand my passion for this hobby. I've been tryign to get her to go speaker auditioning in Manhattan with me, but as of now, it's still a no go. Maybe one of these days, I'll trick her into going. =]

Nice to hear! Your "problem" seems very familiar though (from what I've read here) haha but that'll work out fine I guess. Reward her with something she likes or so...maybe... Or tell her you may spend too much money if you go without her

 

[Contrastique]

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Originally Posted by NoValidTitle /img/forum/go_quote.gif More progress on my lady friend. She had a horse riding accident not long after we returned from NH which gave her a grade 2 concussion, and some bad scrapes. Shes starting to get better just having fears of riding. I did ask her if she'd like to go on a date once she is recovered, and she happily accepted!! She loves sushi so I'm thinking a nice Japanese restaurant, still working on what to do after food.

Sorry to hear about the accident. Hopes she recovers fast and gets over her fear soon, cause if she waits too long, she might never do it again..
Nice to hear your story gets a part 2. Maybe taking her for a walk or something after the dinner. Is good for the food to sink in your belly and to talk about things (like the next step or so) but then again, maybe a silly idea. Haven't been in your position for long time now

 

[AC1]

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Originally Posted by NoValidTitle /img/forum/go_quote.gif I wasn't going to bump the thread but since someone else did =) More progress on my lady friend. She had a horse riding accident not long after we returned from NH which gave her a grade 2 concussion, and some bad scrapes. Shes starting to get better just having fears of riding. I did ask her if she'd like to go on a date once she is recovered, and she happily accepted!! She loves sushi so I'm thinking a nice Japanese restaurant, still working on what to do after food.

Hm, so does she see this as a "date" or is this just hanging out and going to dinner?

The advice given here before on escalating is very important and good for the "basics" if you are trying to go for more than being a friend. But if you are seeing it as a date and she doesn't you are going to have to start stepping it up so both of you are on the same page or else your expectations and hers are totally different.

 

[pne]

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Originally Posted by Contrastique /img/forum/go_quote.gif Ow well, Exceptions on rules must excist also. He got my best friend during the relationship. We are together for 2 years now and no clouds in the sky to be seen (so far). We also work together for 3 years now almost everyday, so if this works out for long longer time we have broken every rule and are meant to live long and happily ever after Plus, you can't always play safe...that is sooo boring (to me). I don't regret the fact I started a relationship with my first best friend. If I wouldn't have done it I would have asked myself forever, what if......Now I know for sure. And yeahh it can be painfull.

glad to hear it worked out for you, you certainly do wonder sometimes how your best friend would work as a SO..


As for me, I think I'm finished with relationships until a few more years down the road. I hate to say it, but every single girl I've had a serious relationship with just couldn't seem to draw that line between friends and SO's. Even if the breakup is mutual or on good terms, they carry this scorn and hatred with them that ruins any potential possible friendship later on. Not trying to be a sexist or anything(it applies to males as well), but I'm waiting until I reach the age group where girls become women and base their actions on judgement instead of hormones/emotions.

 

[NoValidTitle]

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Originally Posted by AC1 /img/forum/go_quote.gif Hm, so does she see this as a "date" or is this just hanging out and going to dinner? The advice given here before on escalating is very important and good for the "basics" if you are trying to go for more than being a friend. But if you are seeing it as a date and she doesn't you are going to have to start stepping it up so both of you are on the same page or else your expectations and hers are totally different.

She is fully aware it is a date, I sucked it up and spit out the fact that I liked her (no not in a desperate/looking for attention way). But it is tough to set the pace as she doesn't want to rush into anything, shes over her ex since he ended up being the rebound so I'm not worried about that portion. Just trying to figure out what pace to move things at is tough. There are little things like the fact that I never get the chance to initiate a conversation with her online. She signs on or I return from away and she messages me within the minute, or she will message me and say "oh I've got to run but I want to talk to you later." She has also begun to open up to me a little with her being worried about her future and such.

Her parents are making her stay home this weekend to watch their dog while they go visit family (loving family huh?) so we are going to do our own little easter weekend with some of her friends (my family pretty much fell apart so holidays are nothing). We are going to a bar on Saturday night then crashing at her place. When we get up we are going to die some eggs and have a good old fashioned egg hunt which none of us have done since we were probably 10, so that should be fun. Finally we are going to throw together a small dinner for a few of us who don't have family arrangements.

Wow... that was a lot. haha