Seaside
500+ Head-Fier
- Joined
- Aug 16, 2005
- Posts
- 860
- Likes
- 11
Just saw this. Hope you laugh as much as I did.
****
Dear wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you
forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show
for it.
These last 2 weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was
the last straw.
Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut,
had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of
your soaps.
You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or
anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me
or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West
Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man
is a far cry from what you've been.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant
whining & griping. Too bad that doesn't work.
I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing
that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me
not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me
confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the
$49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that
my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out.
So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job &
bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted My lawyer
said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
PS. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was
born Carl.
I hope that's not a problem.
****
Dear wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you
forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show
for it.
These last 2 weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was
the last straw.
Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut,
had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of
your soaps.
You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or
anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me
or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West
Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man
is a far cry from what you've been.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant
whining & griping. Too bad that doesn't work.
I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing
that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me
not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me
confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the
$49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that
my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out.
So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job &
bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted My lawyer
said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
PS. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was
born Carl.
I hope that's not a problem.