I used to get a huge wax buildup every 10 years or so, and need to get it flushed by a doctor. Since I was roughly 10 I've played in lots of bands (orchestra and jazz bands when younger, rock, blues, and fusion bands in my college years).
The past number of years I've been cleaning my ears with q-tips. I was recently told not to do that, it can jam the wax in the ear. Since I hadn't had my ears flushed in over 10 years, I decided to put in the solution that softens the wax, and then go get them cleaned (in the past, the doctors have recommended this softener you get over the counter, and I've used it a few times before).
Anyway, my ears were killing me after putting this stuff in. I actually had to go to the urgent care center. The doctor looked in my ears, and said "there's no wax at all". My ears hurt like mad for a day and then stopped hurting.
I followed up with a visit to an ear, nose, and throat specialist - they said the same thing - no wax. He said the solution I put in must have gone right up to my eardrum and caused the pain and irritation. He also said to be careful to get water out if I flush them, as that's an easy way to get an infection.
So for me, using the q-tips works well, I don't jam the wax in there, and it keeps my ears clean.
If you think your ears are dirty, I recommend going to a doctor to find out before you try anything - you can really mess yourself up putting stuff in your ears, and if you don't have wax buildup you might just irritate them without actually doing any good. Be very careful with the q-tips as well, I don't recommend using them unless you also get a doctor's opinion, as for some people they can do more harm than good.
-- Gordie