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Originally Posted by Wmcmanus /img/forum/go_quote.gif
Funny you should say that because now that I've had time to settle down and reflect on the matter, I realize that I was acting childishly and kind of regret it. I'm thinking about going into the police station tomorrow and asking for these 2 guys so that I can apologize to them.
In the end, they really were just doing their jobs. I still think the driver guy was overdoing his job but maybe I'd give lectures if I were a cop as well. I like giving lectures to my students but that's because I like teaching. It's not the same kind of ego thing that this guy went off on. What begged me the most is that he was treating me like a kid in my own property. My defenses went up immediately because this isn't somewhere that I'll allow anyone to violate me in any way.
It now (rather loosely) reminds me of a time when a friend of mine who was doing some work around the house (fix up stuff) got into this terribly heated argument with one of the guy's he had hired to help him. It was a personal matter and had nothing to do with the work they were doing for me. It started while I was out in the yard, and by the time I got into the house they were about to have each other's heads.
My reaction kind of surprised me. I picked up a hammer and threatened to bash in the head of the next guy who used foul language in my home, then once they realized I was serious, I ushered them out of the house where they continued to argue quite loudly. So I started screaming louder than either one of them, telling them to get out of my yard and far enough away that I won't be able to hear them. They could do or say anything they wanted to, put not on my property!
I'm not sure how strong the connection is, but I think that was the nub of it as far as I was concerned. I was being hassled on my own property. All I could think was, "Give me the ticket, shut up, and leave." I didn't say it quite like that (but close enough). They were in my space but yet acted just like they were anywhere else and gave zero respect to that aspect of the situation.
So I don't know. I'd like to apologize because it's what I think I ought to do (in some ways) as a man. It wouldn't be to put my tail between my legs and beg for anything. I'm not too worried about what they might be able to do to me, and am proud enough not to grovel no matter what. But I think the main reason I probably won't seek them out to apologize is that I still don't think I could do it without also wanting to make my point about them not respecting me on my property.
You can't really go in and say, "I'm sorry. I was wrong but so were you." Not to these kinds of guys anyway. They would accept an a@@ kissing apology (which I won't give) but not one that in any way held back or even hinted at the possibility that they might have been partially to blame.
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Wayne I'm with you here. I know that the real issue is being lectured to like a child. I've been in that exact situation, and when I'm twice the age of the officer it's a little peaving to say the least.
I'm glad to see that after you've given it some thought you have a different view point. The last thing you want are these two cops having a vendetta for you.
Way back in the early 90's I was driving for DHL in the heart of the shopping district in San Francisco. I was a new driver on a 30 day probation period like all new drivers, and any infraction would likely mean loss of the job.
I came out of an office building one day to find my van being lifted by a tow truck. I had only been inside a few minutes, but I had double parked which in Union Square was an absolute necessity.
Meter attendants are treated horribly in that city, and the one writing me a ticket was deaf to every word I was saying as I pleaded for a little compassion. Finally when I thought it was hopeless and my job was gone, she turned to me with a really mean look and said that if she ever saw me double parked again it would be the end of it. Then she had the tow truck driver lower my van.
The next day on my route I had a few minutes and stopped by a very popular bakery. I bought a dozen really yummy looking cookies, and started looking for the meter attendant. I found her soon enough, and when I gave her the cookies and told her how greatful I was she looked absolutely stunned.
She told me that as long as I hurried that she wouldn't bother me for double parking, and that she was just trying to do her job.
I'd wave every time I saw her after that, and she always smiled.
You don't have to grovel at all. Just say that while you still think some of your points are valid you realize that they're doing their job, and that they believe their points to be valid too. Just leave it there and don't retrace any ground. You might be surprized at their reaction. Everyone likes a little validation.
Buy some cookies Wayne, apologize to the officers and make your life a whole lot easier. It'll save you a lot of grief, and may even end up being beneficial.
