Why I like the friend zone

[MikePio]

That has never happened to me. I've never had a girl who wanted to be more than just friends. It's a good thing because it makes life simple.

 
Perhaps one day you will meet a girl that will change that. I really hope you do, even if you like simplicity in your life. I think it really changes a person (for the better). I guess falling in love with someone or having feelings puts you in a vulnerable position and makes life a little more complicated but I think it would be sad and unfortunate to spend it alone and not with someone special to have a family and grow old with (in an ideal world). Everyone is different though, so I understand your viewpoint but it would be a shame not to have at least tried. 

 

[ProtegeManiac]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MikePio /img/forum/go_quote.gif

 

Perhaps one day you will meet a girl that will change that. I really hope you do, even if you like simplicity in your life. I think it really changes a person (for the better). I guess falling in love with someone or having feelings puts you in a vulnerable position and makes life a little more complicated but I think it would be sad and unfortunate to spend it alone and not with someone special to have a family and grow old with (in an ideal world). Everyone is different though, so I understand your viewpoint but it would be a shame not to have at least tried. 

 

I did, and to this day, a 2.5yr relationship is a record for me - 2nd place is six months, and then a bunch of them that lasted only weeks before I bailed at the first sign of  trouble or got distracted by another one.

 

When it ended I had a 3-day drinking binge, and came out of it with barely any idea of what prompted me to self-destruct. So much alcohol-induced memory loss that "drink to forget" actually worked, and too well. I can't remember a lot of things, what I do remember is screwed up (for some reason I remember it from a 3rd person POV), I can't even remember what it all felt like, and at some point I even found an envelope with cash in one of my books. I noted that they were all printed in 2007 (most of them in sequential sets), which at the time I found it funny that I started saving up only recently but forgot about it. A few weeks after that I chanced on an HD600 for sale, paid with the cash, and then just before tossing the envelope I found a fortune cookie note in there. That was the only time I remembered what the cash was for: I was saving up for a ring. I haven't told my friends that because they would have never believed I got that close, considering I'm basically the "man whore" who's dipped into a lot more than the better looking guys have, and months after that ended I was back to being the old me.

 

That relationship spanned Dec 2006 to May 2009. I found the envelope February 2010 and bought the HD600 in April or May, and I still have the HD600. My years of enjoying these headphones literally lasted a lot longer than my one serious relationship. Heck, forget that - every laptop I've owned served me four years on average. That's still a heck of a lot longer.

 

[Music Alchemist]

 

That relationship spanned Dec 2006 to May 2009. I found the envelope February 2010 and bought the HD600 in April or May, and I still have the HD600. My years of enjoying these headphones literally lasted a lot longer than my one serious relationship. Heck, forget that - every laptop I've owned served me four years on average. That's still a heck of a lot longer.

 
Funny thing: I lust and obsess over headphones (and other audio equipment) now and don't even think about women much. Many other things I used to be interested in have lost all appeal to me as well. Music and headphones are pretty awesome.

 

[ProtegeManiac]

   
Funny thing: I lust and obsess over headphones (and other audio equipment) now and don't even think about women much. Many other things I used to be interested in have lost all appeal to me as well. Music and headphones are pretty awesome.

 
Hasn't happened to me. Music and aesthetics to me are distinct and, in some cases, reinforcing sources of ecstasy. Case in point:
 
Ignore their brother on the right. Unless you swing that way.

 
Having red hair all the more looks like fire on stage, particularly if she's performing songs like Facade of Reality or Sensorium.


 
I've had beer-fueled discussions with friends who think the bassists never get enough attention.

 
 

Two more who sound like angels


 
And one from a movie

 
...and on occasion I've gone completely off-genre based on what my friends know about me (ie, metal and jazz). Much farther off-genre than Moulin Rouge.
 
I got the weirdest looks when I ran Spotify (continuing where I stopped) at a BBQ and this came out of the BT speakers.

 
But hey I'm a sucker for 5'5" and taller chicks with long, but not very polished (ie not straight nor highly stylized) hair. So much I cried over one for three days along with my friends Jack Daniel and Cutty Sark.

 
And this one is really good at eye contact with the camera. Then I realized she had a similar forehead-cheek-chin ratio/shape/profile as half the people I dated (including the one that made me hang out with Jack and Cutty for three days).

 
 
If I was still in the same mood for hanging out with my friends Jack and Cutty though this group would be painful. Because my ex, before we started dating, wrote a haiku ranting about why I didn't notice her skirt. Which is the whole point of the lyrics in this one. Plus, she gave me a cat whose fur is the same color as the one in the vid.

 
 
 
And it started in my youth I suppose. Based on what I was reading at the time I think it was ingrained that aesthetics and music shouldn't be separated thanks to what books I've been reading, which is why since then I've said, "if I was rich I'd be a patron to a dancer."

Of course, back then, my idea of dancer was a girl who looked like a butch in a man's outfit (save for very long hair), not exactly short skirts.

 
Heck, even the Spirit of Ecstasy could be argued to be dancing as much as she is flying, if you think of it as ballet, which by this point makes me think "Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis."

 
 
Basically what I'm saying is that I derive ecstasy from as many sources as possible - women, music, women in music, food (just look at my posts in the cooking thread), or even the feeling when you win at something. Warhammer fans would know by this point who I'd be talking to if I had a psychic link to The Warp: the Dark Prince of Pleasure, Slaanesh, the Doom of the Eldar. Coincidentally, I've always loved the color purple, but it's a lot less about Greek kings or even the Joker, I just liked it. Then I discovered Warhammer and realized how the psychological profile fits: I'm a hedonist.
 
S/He has a more telling artwork of how s/he is pure beauty that just looking at her drives people mad, and with souls reaching up to touch her, but that one's probably going to get my post deleted.

 

[Music Alchemist]

  Hasn't happened to me. Music and aesthetics to me are distinct and, in some cases, reinforcing sources of ecstasy. Case in point:
 
Basically what I'm saying is that I derive ecstasy from as many sources as possible - women, music, women in music, food (just look at my posts in the cooking thread), or even the feeling when you win at something.

 
More specifically, I lusted after luxuries like supercars and mansions. But the only thing I really require from a car is to get me from point A to point B, so I don't need anything more than a cheap one. And I would have no real use for a mansion either, even if I could afford one. A security system and/or private guards would be more useful.
 
Back to women...I avoid people in general nowadays. Had plenty of friends/relationships in the past...and honestly, I'm happier alone, at least for now. I'd rather spend lots of time with just one person who shares the same hobbies and principles as me than have a "rich life" that others may desire, but that I would deem a waste of time.
 
Oh, and I didn't mean that I don't think about women at all. But I've lost most of my faith in humanity and am borderline misanthropic at times. If I were to enter into a romantic relationship now, it would have to be someone very specific with high levels of intelligence and creativity; otherwise, I wouldn't be able to tolerate it.

 

[ProtegeManiac]

 
More specifically, I lusted after luxuries like supercars and mansions. But the only thing I really require from a car is to get me from point A to point B, so I don't need anything more than a cheap one. And I would have no real use for a mansion either, even if I could afford one. A security system and/or private guards would be more useful.

 
What I'd like to have is a house just at the edge of downtown where I can take public transport daily (not to mention there's Uber in case I'm hauling groceries), but have an innovative garage where I can have one car that I'll take to drive in the weekends. No, not to "da club" where ideally I should be too plastered to drive home, but way out in the country side. Avoid freeways and take the back roads. And it doesn't even need to be Lamborghini, it can be a Miata (the current model is just...wow). Or the refreshed (non-pop up) NSX. Although knowing me I'd like to be able to take some friends along so if I actually had the money for it, a 456GT, or the Scaglietti. Or better yet, the FF or the GTC4 Lusso. Realistically speaking though, there's the GT86 shooting brake, if they ever make it.
 
Something like this garage:
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/8e/00/af/8e00afcf2c1fe66f3c77c5f023f7a5e4.jpg
 
 
Still, not all fun on wheels needs to be on four wheels.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EImTa5pXKZA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cN3lMPMgLoM
 
 

 
Back to women...I avoid people in general nowadays. Had plenty of friends/relationships in the past...and honestly, I'm happier alone, at least for now. I'd rather spend lots of time with just one person who shares the same hobbies and principles as me than have a "rich life" that others may desire, but that I would deem a waste of time.

 
Every month my high school buddies and I get together around a hot grill. Fourteen years after graduation and we get to see more of each other than back in college as we gravitated back to the core group of people that really matter a lot enjoying a common interest: meat and alcohol (I'm more of a prime rib or ground minutes before searing burgers downed with dark beer kind of guy, but if anyone's bringing over wine they swiped from a recent wedding, I'm all for it). And it's not always in the same person's house - we deliberately vary just so sometimes we grill on gas, sometimes we're on charcoal; other times it's just me with my cast iron or carbon steel skillets or a carbon steel wok.
 
 
 
 
 

 
Oh, and I didn't mean that I don't think about women at all. But I've lost most of my faith in humanity and am borderline misanthropic at times. If I were to enter into a romantic relationship now, it would have to be someone very specific with high levels of intelligence and creativity; otherwise, I wouldn't be able to tolerate it.

 
Well after 2016 I'm a lot deeper into misanthropy. I'm half hoping my candidate wins.

 

[MikePio]

 

 

I did, and to this day, a 2.5yr relationship is a record for me - 2nd place is six months, and then a bunch of them that lasted only weeks before I bailed at the first sign of  trouble or got distracted by another one.

 

When it ended I had a 3-day drinking binge, and came out of it with barely any idea of what prompted me to self-destruct. So much alcohol-induced memory loss that "drink to forget" actually worked, and too well. I can't remember a lot of things, what I do remember is screwed up (for some reason I remember it from a 3rd person POV), I can't even remember what it all felt like, and at some point I even found an envelope with cash in one of my books. I noted that they were all printed in 2007 (most of them in sequential sets), which at the time I found it funny that I started saving up only recently but forgot about it. A few weeks after that I chanced on an HD600 for sale, paid with the cash, and then just before tossing the envelope I found a fortune cookie note in there. That was the only time I remembered what the cash was for: I was saving up for a ring. I haven't told my friends that because they would have never believed I got that close, considering I'm basically the "man whore" who's dipped into a lot more than the better looking guys have, and months after that ended I was back to being the old me.

 

That relationship spanned Dec 2006 to May 2009. I found the envelope February 2010 and bought the HD600 in April or May, and I still have the HD600. My years of enjoying these headphones literally lasted a lot longer than my one serious relationship. Heck, forget that - every laptop I've owned served me four years on average. That's still a heck of a lot longer.

 
I am sure it must have been hard ending a relationship of that length, especially since you were saving for a ring but don't let that discourage you. She just wasn't the one. Better to get heart broken over it after 2.5 years than to put a ring on her, marry her, have kids and then get a divorce... I am sure you would be binge drinking longer than 3 days 

.  I am not sure I would compare materialistic things to human relationships, sure they may last longer but I know that my HD800 (as much as I love it!) will never replace a woman in my bed or long walks on the beach (if you want to get romantic).

 

[ProtegeManiac]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MikePio /img/forum/go_quote.gif

 

I am sure it must have been hard ending a relationship of that length, especially since you were saving for a ring but don't let that discourage you. She just wasn't the one. Better to get heart broken over it after 2.5 years than to put a ring on her, marry her, have kids and then get a divorce... I am sure you would be binge drinking longer than 3 days 

.  I am not sure I would compare materialistic things to human relationships, sure they may last longer but I know that my HD800 (as much as I love it!) will never replace a woman in my bed or long walks on the beach (if you want to get romantic).

 

"Discourage" isn't exactly accurate. A more accurate way to describe it would be "(ultimately) failed to encourage." Discourage means that I ultimately, really want to get tied down, and then I don't want to anymore. With me, I didn't really want it before, then I thought I want it, now I realized I dodged a bullet. It hurt initially but scientifically speaking it's because one's brain and hormones react to a significant other like a drug, and I was just experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Similarly, my unhappiness while in that relationship could have been withdrawal symptoms from a lot of other things I couldn't do for lack of time (getting drunk) or she forbade me to do (like racing). 

 

And material things did not replace having a woman on my bed. I might not have had a woman on my bed at home for years, but the thing is, that's my bed. I've been in women's beds though, and in so many hotel rooms. But the reason why I made the comparison wasn't just the explicit numbers (years) but the implication that I spent sooooo much time and effort on that one but the HD600 I wasn't even consciously trying to hold on to didn't need that to begin with.