[darkangel9685]

So, I havn't been active for the past year or so.....I've popped up here and there, but i've kinda "abandoned", for lack of a better term, this wonderful community.

Why?

Easy (well maybe not). I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety last Jan, though the symptoms have been there for a loong while. I've been getting help dealing with these issues over the past year, both medically and seeing a therapist once a week.

So far, it has been the best decision I've ever made! I relaized why I do the things I do, and why I act how I do.

Why am I telling everyone this? Well, through it all, the one thing I had was my iPod and music, which proved to be a great therapy in and of in itself. Also, depression is debiliating. Not wanting to get outta bed, tired, ect...it all sucks, and just makes you feel worse.

It's been a hard journey, but I feel I am older, wiser, and more mature for it. I put all my hopes and dreams on hold for the last year, and now I'm ready to jump back in, so to speak.

Thank you for reading this, as it was more therapy for me to write and admit a few of these things. (Also, I did this at the urging of my therapist, to help clear out the skeletons in my closet)

 

[uraflit]

good to hear that!

never let up!!!

 

[Hi-Finthen]

I can fully understand, unfortunately so.

There were times when I knew how bad it was when I wouldn't even turn on music.

Also, I too understand how very therapeutic music is, to me.

Best of luck on your continued progress, self introspection and understanding(s)...

Kind regards~

 

[moogoob]

Best of luck. Depression, even mild like I sometimes get it, is never a walk in the park.

 

[catachresis]

Depression is hell! Keep goin', man!

After a severe bout, there's nothing quite like the sharp, earthy, solid pang of appetite for all the good things that you've put on hold. Feed the appetite. If you're pinched for funds right now and can't join in the ongoing bacchanals of retail 'therapy', why not head over to the Music Forum and start a thread. Tell us what the last ten songs you dug on your iPod were!

 

[Uncle Erik]

Thank you for opening up in public - I am sure this was not an easy decision. It's great that you're feeling better and I wish you the best. Also, get out and go to a meet or two. You don't know how much fun you're missing.

If you get down, remember that you're a part of the family here and that you'll always find someone here to talk with. Start a thread or PM someone you might like to be friends with.

 

[ricksome]

DarkAngel: I also suffer from depression. I feel your pain. PM me anytime or keep it in this thread if you like. Good Luck and Good Health to you!!!...Rick

 

[Lazarus Short]

Thanks for sharing, and don't think for a minute that you have problems the rest of us don't have. We are all flawed and less than perfect. We have a life nonetheless. Give it all you've got!

 

[tamahome77]

I feel your pain man. Hope you'll feel better and stronger as each day passes. Music definitely helps one to relax and relieve stress.

 

[darkangel9685]

holy crap, never expected this much outpouring of support!

Thanks a lot everyone

And catachresis, I will be doing that!

 

[catachresis]

Quote:

Originally Posted by darkangel9685 /img/forum/go_quote.gif holy crap, never expected this much outpouring of support! Thanks a lot everyone And catachresis, I will be doing that!

Well, don't keep us waiting in suspense! 'Soon as I see it, I'll 'fess-up to what I've been listening to. It's always a terrible trial of self-confidence for me to *really admit* what my *comfort music* is. But fortune favors the bold!

 

[uzziah]

for six years i have had chronic, late stage lyme disease; i made have had it for my whole life, but the disease exploded six years ago. i have experienced unlivable pain 24hrs a day, searing burning aching horror; brain damage so that i cannot think, cannot read, cannot focus; cold sweats, fevers, severe fatigue, weakness, weight gain, headaches and much more; the medical community does not understand this disease and i have been treated despicably at worst, and apathetically at best. my wife who i loved desperately, left me because i was so horribly ill, and at 27 i have had to move back in with, and be dependent upon, my parents. i've lost touch with all my friends as i cannot watch them move on with their lives while i writh in consant pain; disability denied me because, again, this disease is not understood; i have tried to end my life several times, but was unable to go through with it; i have been in the ER 5 times, 4 because i thought i was having a heart attack (turns out to be extreme ripcage pain), and once because i went into withdrawal from my opiate meds; experienced pain so severe that if i had had anything handy that i could have killed myself with, i would not have been physically able to stop myself; my pain doctor again does not understand my illness and wants to drop back on my pain meds (michael jackson can go **** himself ifor how he's made it even harder for the people who really, desperately need to kill some pain, to get what we need); my mother treated me like a failure because she didn't understand, my family does the same for the most part;

i reside in hell; the real hell. i live there. i can tell you everything about it. at this point in time this disease is the most perfect torture disease that exists on the planet. i have little hope of recovery; my spine hurts so much that i contemplated having my spinal chord severed so that i could not feel it. i am not depressed; i am tortured


brother, i believe that your depression is real. but all i want you to know is this: this is your life; things could be about a million times worse; and in the end the only truth is this: live your life, as much as you can, how you want to. don't worry about what really is going on in your head (not saying you shouldn't seek medical answers, simply saying: don't let it dominate your thoughts, let it go).....just go out and live as much as you possibly can. this is your life. all these problems you have, they are there, they are real, but they are irrelevant to what you should do: live, live, live; do it all; don't hold yourself back, don't let others; do what you want, not what they want; i do, even though what i can do is extremely little; you can as well. live, brother, live it up; this is your life, and no one knows what happens after, or if this is all there is. live brother, live

don't hold yourself back because of the fear in your mind; accept the fear, breath it in, trample it as you walk out the door

peace and love,
bryan

 

[uzziah]

also, always remember this: only you know what it's like to be you; don't compare yourself to me, or anyone; your doctors do not know what it's like to be you; they do NOT have all the answers; take what works, leave the rest. be well

 

[Uncle Erik]

Quote:

Originally Posted by darkangel9685 /img/forum/go_quote.gif holy crap, never expected this much outpouring of support!

There is always more support than you think there is. You never know how much people care unless you open up a bit.

Uzziah, it's been awhile since we've heard from you, bu it is good to know you're around. Do the best you can - I'm pulling for you.

 

[darkangel9685]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Uncle Erik /img/forum/go_quote.gif There is always more support than you think there is. You never know how much people care unless you open up a bit. Uzziah, .... Do the best you can - I'm pulling for you.

same here