For example, the chaplain is NOT standing over my wallet anymore. My wallet peacefully expired on June 30, 2002. The cause of death is believed to be a rare form of bulemia. Desperate attempts to infuse the wallet with cash were followed by spells of rapid purging. The official cause of death is malnutrition.
Funeral services were held for my wallet on July 2, 2002. All major online audio retailers were present as mourners. Pallbearers included representatives from my bank, mortgage company, Visa, Discover, Mastercard, and American Express.
The eventual ramifications of the death of my wallet are not yet known. It is believed that several tube dealers are considering raising their prices, as they scramble for an alternate source of income.