the most incredibly stupid lyrics you've ever heard
Feb 11, 2007 at 7:18 AM Thread Starter Post #1 of 140

Thelonious Monk

Headphoneus Supremus
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well, i just got some rap that i was suggested... and listened to the song Immortal Technique - Jedi Mind Tricks.

You mother****ers are nothing, you can not harm me
I'll resurrect every aborted baby and start an army
Storm the planet huntin' you down, cuz I'm on a mission
Split your body into a billion one-celled organisms
Immortal Technique will destroy your religion, you stupid bitch - (this had me laughing for a while)
You're faker than blue-eyed crackers nailed to a crucifix
I'm about to blow up like Nasa
Challenger computer chips


what the... what??? seriously. this is terrible. putting in a different line for a different offensive thing doesn't make you political. it makes you an ignorant black stereotype who fused with a stupid white conspiracy theorist...

anyone else have something to contribute? LFO comes to mind..
evil_smiley.gif
 
Feb 11, 2007 at 7:36 AM Post #2 of 140
Hmm, on the other hand, perhaps it is genius...
Quote:

[size=large][size=x-small][Intro]
Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her butt.
It is so big. *scoff* She looks like,
one of those rap guys' girlfriends.
But, y'know, who understands those rap guys? *scoff*
They only talk to her, because,
she looks like a total prostitute, 'kay?
I mean, her butt, is just so big. *scoff*
I can't believe it's just so round, it's like,
out there, I mean - gross. Look!
She's just so ... black!

[Sir Mix-a-Lot]
I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh baby, I wanna get wit'cha
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But with that butt you got makes me feel so horny
Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin
You say you wanna get in my Benz?
Well, use me, use me
'Cause you ain't that average groupy
I've seen them dancin'
The hell with romancin'
She's sweat, wet,
Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette
I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' flat butts are the thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back
So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!)
Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)
Shake that healthy butt!
Baby got back!

(LA face with Oakland booty)
Baby got back!

[Sir Mix-a-Lot]
I like 'em round, and big
And when I'm throwin' a gig
I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal
Now here's my scandal
I wanna get you home
And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh
I ain't talkin' bout Playboy
'Cause silicone parts are made for toys
I want 'em real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Mix-a-Lot's in trouble
Beggin' for a piece of that bubble
So I'm lookin' at rock videos
Knock-kneeded bimbos walkin' like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo
A word to the thick soul sistas, I wanna get with ya
I won't cuss or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna ******
Til the break of dawn
Baby got it goin' on
A lot of simps won't like this song
'Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it
And I'd rather stay and play
'Cause I'm long, and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on
So, ladies! {Yeah!} Ladies! {Yeah}
If you wanna role in my Mercedes {Yeah!}
Then turn around! Stick it out!
Even white boys got to shout
Baby got back!

Baby got back!
Yeah, baby ... when it comes to females, Cosmo ain't got nothin'
to do with my selection. 36-24-36? Ha ha, only if she's 5'3".

[Sir Mix-a-Lot]
So your girlfriend rolls a Honda, playin' workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none
Unless you've got buns, hun
You can do side bends or sit-ups,
But please don't lose that butt
Some brothers wanna play that "hard" role
And tell you that the butt ain't gold
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So Cosmo says you're fat
Well I ain't down with that!
'Cause your waist is small and your curves are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'
To the beanpole dames in the magazines:
You ain't it, Miss Thing!
Give me a sista, I can't resist her
Red beans and rice didn't miss her
Some knucklehead tried to dis
'Cause his girls are on my list
He had game but he chose to hit 'em
And I pull up quick to get wit 'em
So ladies, if the butt is round,
And you want a triple X throw down,
Dial 1-900-MIXALOT
And kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got back!

(Little in the middle but she got much back) [4x]

[/size][/size]


 
Feb 11, 2007 at 7:49 AM Post #4 of 140
For those not familiar with Mr. Glitter, I suggest a quick Google search. You'll get a different perspective on these bad lyrics:

Quote:

'Do You Wanna Touch Me (Oh Yeah!)' lyrics by GARY GLITTER

We've been here too long tryin' to get along
Pretending that you're oh so shy
I'm a natural man doin' all I can
My temp'rature is runnin' high
Friday night no one in sight and we got so much to share
Talkin's fine if you got the time, I ain't got the time to spare

Do you wanna touch? - Yeah! Do you wanna touch? - Yeah!
Do you wanna touch me there? Yeah!
Do you wanna touch? - Yeah! Do you wanna touch? - Yeah!
Do you wanna touch me there? Where? There! Yeah! Oh!

Yeah! Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Mymymymymy!
Yeah! Oh yeah! Oh yeah!

Ev'ry growin' boy needs a little joy, all you do is sit an' stare
Beggin' on my knees, baby won't you please
Run your fingers thru' my hair
My my my whisky & Dry, don't it make you feel so fine?
Right or wrong, don't it turn you on
Can't you see we're wastin' time?

Do you wanna touch? - Yeah! Do you wanna touch? - Yeah!
Do you wanna touch me there? Yeah!
Do you wanna touch? - Yeah! Do you wanna touch? - Yeah!
Do you wanna touch me there? Where? There! Yeah! Oh!

Yeah! Oh yeah! Oh yeah! There there there there
Yeah! Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Ow
Yeah! Oh yeah! Oh yeah! ....
Every growing boy needs a little joy -
Beggin' on my knees, baby if you please -
Every growing boy needs a little toy -
I'm a natural man doin' all I can -
Every Friday night I got to get it right -
I'm waiting so long oh - ....


 
Feb 11, 2007 at 8:14 AM Post #5 of 140
Heresy! Baby Got Back is a classic!

oh, i just remembered something else: Skinless!

Quote:

10. Pool Of Stool

Pool of stool
I slipped and fell into a manhole
I discovered I was knee deep in doo doo
A wave of turds swept me away floating along with the poop and pee to a
solid waste management plant
Here I sit with the ****
Here I be with the pee
Plunge me from this ca-ca doo-doo before I drown in this pool of stool
Pool of Stool
How can anyone stand this ****ing smell
Plunge me before I drown
My nostril hairs are singed from the aroma of human dump
Here I sit with the ****
Here I be with the pee
Mouthfuls of slop my tongue starts to swell in the sewer my body rashing
Treat logs
Treat logs
Treat logs
Treat logs
The current too strong
Turds
Piss and scum are spinning and making me dizzy
Swallowed by turds
Swallowed by turds
Swallowed by turds
Swallowed by turds


Quote:

8. Merrie Melody

"Does blood turn you on?
It does more than turn me on, it makes me ***!
And more than the sight of it, I love the taste of it, the taste of hot, freshly killed blood!"

I hate Roadrunner, why can't Wiley Coyote win
Cartoons, make me angry, why can't Sylvester eat Tweety

Saturday morning, roll out of bed
long to see Bugs Bunny lose his head
Bugs lying headless, a gory scene, Elmer would be happy as little kids scream!!!
Tom became elated, standing over Jerry's body mutilated
tears filled the kids eyes seeing Jerry's carcass, sodomized

I hate Roadrunner, why can't Wiley Coyote win
Cartoons, make me angry, why can't Sylvester eat Tweety

Saturday morning, roll out of bed
long to see Bugs Bunny lose his head
Bugs lying headless, a gory scene, Elmer would be happy as little kids scream!!!
Tom became elated, standing over Jerry's body mutilated
tears filled the kids eyes seeing Jerry's carcass, sodomized

Areeba, Areeba Speedy's dead meata


now imagine all of that... with death metal growl vocals.
wink.gif


edit: now that i think about it, was this post even head-fi appropriate? i mean Skinless is pretty horrible...
 
Feb 11, 2007 at 8:18 AM Post #6 of 140
Quote:

Originally Posted by Aman /img/forum/go_quote.gif
Pick and choose just about anything from the Insane Clown Posse.


Quoted for emphasis.
 
Feb 11, 2007 at 8:18 AM Post #7 of 140
The chorus that drove me insane in my youth:

MacArthur Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!
Oh, no
No, no
Oh no!!
 
Feb 11, 2007 at 8:48 AM Post #10 of 140
Quote:

Originally Posted by TheMarchingMule /img/forum/go_quote.gif
Weird Al...anything with him.
plainface.gif



don't mess with weird al! he will forever be respected for the awesome tuba solo in "Smells Like Nirvana". also "tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699"
 
Feb 11, 2007 at 12:35 PM Post #14 of 140
Spacekats - Mellow

(There is some disagreement on the lyrics...I picked the best out of the top few Google hits...I think it was used in some video games, so the quality was poor and the lyrics were hard to hear. I have the original, and don't think it's that hard
confused.gif
)

Quote:

Have you ever smoked a big fat cuban cigar?
Have you ever hitched a ride on a shooting star?
Have you ever seen red, when it should've been yellow? (Woah-oh)
Have you ever been mellow? (mellow... mellow... mellow...)

[Come on!]

Have you ever seen a day that don't turn to night?
Have you ever been wrong when you thought you were right?
Has it ever been said, "You're a jolly good fellow?" (Woah-oh)
Have you ever been mellow? (mellow... mellow... mellow...)

[Yeah!]

On your marks, get set, ready, let's go
Listen up kids, I'm comin' with the flow
Comin' with the flavor, somethin' you can savor
Now I wanna see you on your best behavior

So throw your hands up. Come on, follow me
Jack's goin out to the old bank. Ricky
Ritalized geezer, what can I say
Walk with the ladies? No way

Now "bang, bang" goes the beat of the drum
Shake your bum, 'cause we just begun
Boom, boom. Get jiggy with me
I'm the UK's number four MC

Wham, bam. Catch me if you can
You want something to do with it? I know a man
He's called B.B. and he's up with some funk
Better riot. Your taxi will come

Have you ever smoked a big fat cuban cigar? [Yeah!]
Have you ever hitched a ride on a shooting star?
Have you ever seen red, when it should've been yellow? (Woah-oh)

Have you ever been mellow?

Have you ever seen a day that don't turn to night?
Have you ever been wrong when you thought you were right?
Has it ever been said, "You're a jolly good fellow?" (Woah-oh.)
Have you ever been mellow? (mellow... mellow... mellow...)

Let's go crazy!

(Melloooooow)
Does it really matter if you've never been mellow?
Does it really matter if you've never been mellow?

(Melloooooow)
Jamie! Shine the magic torch!

Have you ever smoked a big fat cuban cigar?
Have you ever hitched a ride on a shooting star?
Have you ever seen red, when it should've been yellow? (Woah-oh.)
Have you ever been mellow?


 
Feb 11, 2007 at 12:39 PM Post #15 of 140
Of Montreal - Wraith Pinned to the Mist (And Other Games)

Quote:

Let’s have bizarre celebrations
Let’s forget who forget what forget where
We’ll have bizarre celebrations
I’ll play the Satyr in Cypris you the bride being stripped bare

Let’s pretend we don’t exist
Let’s pretend we’re in Antartica

Let’s have bizarre celebrations
Lets forget when forget what forget how
We’ll have bizarre celebrations
We’ll play Tristan and Izolde but make sure I see white sails

Maybe I’ll never die I’ll just keep growing younger with you
And you’ll grow younger too
Now it seems too lovely to be true but I know the best things always do

Let’s pretend we don’t exist
Let’s pretend we’re in Antarctica


 

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