Christmas is going to be awkward and terrible for me this year. I've been pretty distant from my family over the past 6 months and this year my father and grandmother are going to have dinner with my mother, her mother, whom she met less than a year ago, my mom's crazy aunt, and me. My mom has nothing in common with dad or grandma, no one seems to have anything in common with mom's mom except how terrible their family was (I wouldn't know as they all died or excommunicated my mother when I was small), and my crazy great aunt is crazy. Like, she's ridiculously arthritic but will start crawling around on the floor in incredible pain looking for things mom's cat could, hypothetically, eat just to start a fuss over it. Luckily for me I live in a 3rd floor apartment she's literally incapable of visiting because this place is a ******* sty.
Meanwhile relatives of mine in DC really want me to go out there for some reason but I have absolutely no desire to do so. Their desire, however, seems genuine enough for me to feel like a complete dick for avoiding it. I love and respect all of these people (except maybe mom's mom, who I barely know), but I really just want to be left alone for a few weeks. If it were up to me I'd just mail all my gifts and not bother accepting anything from anyone because I don't particularly want anything but headphone stuff.
I really can't imagine having a big connected family the likes of which my hispanic and asian friends have. I can count the number of family members I have anything to do with at all (since some disowned my mother and me by association) on my hands and I feel smothered more often than not.