[SoupRKnowva]

Quote:

Granted, but you marry the ugliest female in the ugliest 2D world.
 
I wish I could be dead in peace.

granted, but you were drawn and quartered to get there.
 
i wish i had my jh-3a's already!
 

 

[evilking]

Granted, but the audiologist made a mistake and your eardrums are pierced when you put them in.
 
I wish I was the captain of an FTL starship, adventuring through the galaxy.

 

[violinvirtuoso]

Quote:

Granted, but the audiologist made a mistake and your eardrums are pierced when you put them in.
 
I wish I was the captain of an FTL starship, adventuring through the galaxy.

Granted, but you are adventuring into a black hole.
 
I wish I had an IQ of 1000.

 

[SoupRKnowva]

Quote:

Granted, but you are adventuring into a black hole.
 
I wish I had an IQ of 1000.

granted, but your brain grew too big and your head exploded 

 
i wish kristen bell would marry me
 

 

[Landis]

 
Quote:

granted, but your brain grew too big and your head exploded 

 
i wish kristen bell would marry me
 

Granted, but it's a quadruple amputee lady-boy named Kristen Bell, not the famous actress. Also, we have a double wedding and the real famous Kristen Bell marries me instead. BUAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA
 
I wish I had a giant flying lobster that shot laser beams out of its eyes and could cure all the diseases, viruses and disorders just from being seen by those afflicted.

 

[Ishcabible]

Quote:

 

Granted, but it's a quadruple amputee lady-boy named Kristen Bell, not the famous actress. Also, we have a double wedding and the real famous Kristen Bell marries me instead. BUAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA
 
I wish I had a giant flying lobster that shot laser beams out of its eyes and could cure all the diseases, viruses and disorders just from being seen by those afflicted.

Granted, but the Flying Spaghetti Monster starts an epic fight with it.
 
I wish I could play the guitar. Well enough to get me laid™.

 

[SoupRKnowva]

Quote:

Granted, but the Flying Spaghetti Monster starts an epic fight with it.
 
I wish I could play the guitar. Well enough to get me laid™.

well enough to get laid to rest...go find an instructor 
 
i wish apple would provide more universal codec support for ipod/iphones for audio and video

 

[Landis]

Quote:

well enough to get laid to rest...go find an instructor 
 
i wish apple would provide more universal codec support for ipod/iphones for audio and video

Granted, but they remove the screens and line outs from all their devices.

 
Quote:

Granted, but the Flying Spaghetti Monster starts an epic fight with it.

How is that corrupting my wish? That's like making it ten times more awesome.
 
I wish I had a jar of pickles right now.

 

[Head Injury]

Quote:

I wish I had a jar of pickles right now.

Granted, but the pickles are huge and you cannot get them out of the jar.
 
Wishes are the hard part. Hrm...
 
I'm gonna throw some faux angst onto the table to see what happens, and wish I were dead.

 

[terriblepaulz]

Quote:

Granted, but they remove the screens and line outs from all their devices.

 

How is that corrupting my wish? That's like making it ten times more awesome.
 
I wish I had a jar of pickles right now.

Granted, but it's a jar of pickles prepared by Hannibal Lecter
 
I wish bacon was healthy
 

 

[Ishcabible]

Quote:

How is that corrupting my wish? That's like making it ten times more awesome.
 

Wow I forgot to type "and loses", but that would be an epic fight anyways.
 
Granted. You have saltless flacid ckicken bacon.
 
I wish I could meet Ben Gibbard and give him a high five.

 

[SoupRKnowva]

 
Quote:

Wow I forgot to type "and loses", but that would be an epic fight anyways.
 
Granted. You have saltless flacid ckicken bacon.
 
I wish I could meet Ben Gibbard and give him a high five.

granted but he has ebola, and you get it by touching his hand.
 
i wish i wasnt swtiching back to night shift this friday
 

 

[Punnisher]

Quote:

 

granted but he has ebola, and you get it by touching his hand.
 
i wish i wasnt swtiching back to night shift this friday
 

Granted, but you have to work 14 hour shifts instead.
 
I wish audio equipment didn't cost so much.

 

[Happy Camper]

Granted but you loose your hearing.
 
I want to give relief to all third world citizens.

 

[ccbass]

Granted, but all that "relief" causes a massive flood and cholera breaks out.
 
I wish I had more Ikea furniture.