The Audio Joke Thread

[Soundsgoodtome]

5.0 out of 5 stars Hear hear!
By Gordie Lachance - September 3, 2016
Amazon Verified Purchase
LOVE. THESE. BUDS. Here's the thing. You ever go on a wine tasting? I did it once. I was surrounded by people swishing it around in their mouths saying things like, "Ooooo this has earthy tones of soil and aged manure really hitting the back pallete" or "I feel like the fruitiness is overbearing and I prefer a more subtle chocolatey almond that was allowed to breathe over a bed of charcoal dust for at least 972 hours." And I'm like, "It tastes good". Or. "This tastes like the inside of the septic tank on Satan's Winnebago." I feel the same way about "audiophiles" that I do "wine tasters" when it comes to headphone reviews. I'll probably even get crap for calling em "headphones". Someone's going to tell you your ears aren't "sophisticated" enough and that their ear canals were crafted from unicorn hair gently melted together with Ray Charles' cremated ashes. But I'll just tell you this: these are the best pair of $100 buds I've tried. Why? Because they sound awesome. Why else? Because I've tried other more "name brands" and spent twice this (or more) and the sound is equivalent, sometimes better. If Audiophile McEgotrip wants to tell you your opinion is invalid because you don't possess his/her "trained ear", might I suggest reaching into your pocket and pulling out a middle finger. "Quality" is defined by the ears that are listening, and if you love the quality, then there's nothing more to say. Enjoy the music. Try these 1More Triple Driver buds. I'll probably get a bunch of "not helpful" votes from all the Barry & Dick clones from the movie High Fidelity, and that's fine. But while they're all standing in line waiting to ride the High Horse, I'm over here eating a Creamsicle on a hammock with Miles Davis penetrating my soul through a pair of incredibly high quality earbuds that I didn't need to forego paying this month's rent to acquire. In Music We Trust. Cheers, folks.

40 of 43 people found this review helpful

Man...those iems sounds promising joking aside lol. A triple driver for $99 which was tuned with the help of http://www.lucabignardi.net/

 

[sharktopus]

Ahahahaha! I thought the same thing!  Its those pesky electron-eating leeches!  The bane of power substations and audiophiles everywhere.

 

[sharktopus]

 
Funny or sad? you decide (i find it sad)

Holy Guacamole Batman!
 
Next weekend, he will install the miniature train sets and city to go along with his 100th scale model power lines.

 

[wink]

 

[Redcarmoose]

 

[Redcarmoose]

 

[Soundsgoodtome]

Ooohhhh k....

 

[SilverEars]

Funny or sad? you decide (i find it sad)

What happens when the wire touches the floor? This just proves when people believe, they do actually believe. How irrational we really are.

So, do we trust impressions looking at this? Like the wire sounds like this and that, and opens up the sound stage? It's funny how no foundational knowledge and a bit of OCD does to the imagination. No wonder cable manufacturers easily prey on these people.

 

[Redcarmoose]

 

[wink]

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[wink]

2 audiophiles talking.
1st one says, "Did you hear the sad news about Bob; he died of a sudden illness."
2nd audiophile says, "That's so sad, what did he have?"
1st audiophile replies, " Krell, Thiel, Theta, and Nordost."

How long does it take for an audiophile to change a light bulb?
Answer : Forever, because he can't get past the double blind testing.

how many audiogon posters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
seven: one to actually put the bulb in the socket,
five to determine whether the cable running to the lamp will affect the quality of the light output
and the last to argue that cables are meaningless without a light meter that will measure in millionths of candle power.

The audiophile, on his way to his Linn dealer to have his LP12 adjusted and tweaked for the 50th time, stops at the bank to make a quick cash withdrawal.
Figuring that it will only take a couple of minutes he leaves his precious 'table in full view on the back seat of his car.
He runs into the bank.
Upon returning to his car he notices that one of the windows has been smashed.
Oh no!!! he cries in despair and when he looks in he sees: TWO LP12's.

Q: How can you tell that the audiophile is sitting in the sweet spot and that his listening chair is perfectly level?
A: He's drooling out of both sides of his mouth.

How do you keep an audiophile in suspense for 24 hours?
-I'll tell you tomorrow.......

Why did the amplifier hum?
Answer: It didn't know the words.
(Hey, this was an actual answer to a recent Audiogon post)

An audiophile was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess".
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess,
I will stay with you for one week." The audiophile took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, 'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."
Again the audiophile took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter?
I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want.
Why won't you kiss me?"
The audiophile said, "Look I'm an audiophile. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

YOU MAY BE AN AUDIOPHILE…
If you introduce your wife as "My Wife Aacceptance Factor"
If your Christmas Wish List costs more than the GNP of a small country
If you can name 6 brands of turntables
If your speakers can be mistaken for the Monolith in "2018"
If your idea of a "good read" is the Audio Advisor Catalog
If your favorite movie is "High Fidelity"
If you have used Blu Tack and duct tape for something other than tacking paper and taping ducts
If your ideal evening consists of listening to 3 seconds of each CD looking for the best "demo track"
If you drive a car with an "I'd rather be listening to my audio system" license frame
If you have ever taken the cover off your amplifier just to check out the "build quality"

How many double-blinders does it take to change a lightbulb?
None -- they can never achieve a 95% confidence level that the bulb is dead.

A friend of mine explaining to his wife why the amps have to stay on all the time, when the electric bill arrives the first time after he installs his Class A 200W mono blocks:
"Honey, I'm telling you, listening to my system is just like taking a shower...
When you turn the shower on, cold water comes out, if you immediately step in, well, it is unpleasant.
It needs time to warm up. Just because water comes out, does not mean it's a great shower.
It'ls like that with my amplifier, of course music comes out right after you turn it on, but it is not great music.
It takes time for it to warm up and sound right."
To which his wife replies with a straight face:
"Ahh... Got it. So we should run the shower 24 hours a day?"

A tube-head goes to buy a new car. He goes to the dealership and asks for a 30 day test-drive.
He then takes that car to all the places he normally goes, at all times of day, making sure to bring along all the people he would normally carry.
He takes obsessive notes while doing this.
He drives the same road about 50 times during the 30 day trial.
This process is repeated for about 10 different cars.
When he finally buys the car and takes it home, the first thing he does is change the oil.
Not happy with the result, he will buy a different brand of oil and change it again.
Of course, the same roads are tried after each oil change, again making obsessive notes.
His friends are divided in two groups; those that cannot get enough of the oil stories, recommending ever more expensive and hard to get brands of oil, and those that are now starting to avoid him.
After about 6 months, he settles on a motor oil that is very hard to get and costs about 1/3rd of the price of the car, but it sure makes it run much better.
And every saturday morning, his spouse just wants to get the groceries.
She gets in the car, so does he.
He starts, frives out of the driveway, and proudly asks as they get to the grocery store:
"Well, what do you think?"he says, meaning of course the improved smoothness with the new oil and all,
To which she responds "It sure is busy this saturday morning."
To make up for this, he takes his friends out on saturday afternoon, to drive down the same piece of road he has driven down 50 times before...

Favorite birthday gift for an audiophile that does not have a turnrable:
An LP. You will know the boys from the men quickly;
The boys will complain they do not have a turntable.
The men will proudly inform you they will get a second mortgage shortly to be able to buy the new set to play this beauty...

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat miner.

 

[Redcarmoose]

 

[wink]

Joke of the week​

The swing doors of the Last Chance Saloon burst open and in strides the sheriff, as the whole bar falls quiet. “I’s lookin’,” the sheriff announces loudly, ’fer the Brown-Paper Cowboy.”
“Wass’ he look like, sheriff?” asks the bartender.

“Waaaal, he’s got him a big ol’ brown-paper hat, wears brown-paper shirts, brown-paper pants and brown-paper boots. He’s got him a brown-paper gun that fires brown-paper bullets and he rides him a big ol’ brown-paper hoss.”
“Waaaal, sheriff,” the bartender replies, “I caint say that we rightly seen him in these parts, but we’ll sure as hell keep an eye out fer him. Saaaay, what do you want him fer, anyway?‘
“Rustlin’.”

 

[Redcarmoose]

 

[wink]

I'm in a group called The Palindromes​

Our first single is, " If I had a Hifi."

​

What do two audiophiles do when they celebrate?​

They Hi-Fi

Hi-Fi, Mid-Fi and Low-Fi​

Stereotypes

Have I told you about my new stereo that connects to the Internet and plays Star Wars music?​

It's my WiFi Sci-Fi HiFi.

I bought a mint condition vintage HiFi system​

My wife said it's a waste of money, but I think it's a sound investment.

We should re-fi, so we can get some hi-fi and watch sci-fi on the wi-fi.​