[Kirosia]

Quote:

Originally Posted by chia-pet Kirosia, I was merely doing the same thing you were doing, making a funny, general observation about the behavior of head-fi'ers. I don't presume to know you any more than you of me. Chill out with your insecurities lol.

Haha, wow I swear i've heard that response about eight thousand times. Why is it everytime one of you bait n flame trolls is confronted, you use the "well, I was just joking/it's not my fault you're insecure"-type posts? Nothing valid to say, I figure. Maybe you're the one who's insecure?

Pretzels homes. Pretzels. (I bet somehow you're gonna associate twisted dough with identity confusion, even though it'd make absolutely no sense. But I would give you props)

EDIT: I gotta hit the hay, but that made my night. I luv dem trolls.

 

[skyline889]

Whoa you guys need to calm down. I think we both understand there were wrongs at both sides of the deal.

 

[strogg]

ooooook... after reading ALL that (whew), i have these things to say:

both parties are guilty. the buyer was guilty of being what i would call a "dick". shows up unannounced, and does it in a very odd fashion. the seller didn't ship it on the promised day. in fact, he KEPT it for 5 days. in my mind, that is too long of a time. it's one thing if it's a huge wearhouse staffed with only 2 people and being bogged down with orders, but it's another thing if it's just one person with the package IN HAND and ready to ship. it's unacceptable.

but to figure out who's more guilty, i'd like these questions answered:

why was that guy in kalifornistan to begin with?
why wasn't the package shipped in a timely manner?
how did the bloke get the SELLER's address? if he used paypal, that would never happen until he gets the package.
why did the bloke give out his cell phone number?
why is quoteunquote still whining? as the day progressed, he seemed more and more angered. i'm afraid his head's gonna pop by friday night.
where's the buyer now?
why did he act all sleezy-like during the incident?

anyway. yeah, those questions come to mind when i read about it.

and as a side-comment on shipment of packages, i generally ship all my packages within 1 business day. if i can ship them out the same day, i would. if i have to stand in line for 30 minutes, i would. if i was holed up in my own house, i would give the package to someone else to mail out. if the package just wasn't ready to be shipped out, then that's impossible, because once i finish taking pictures of the item being sold, i PACK IT UP AND TAPE IT SHUT AND LABEL IT. although most sellers won't go through as great lengths as i would to get the package out in time, i try my absolute best to make the buyer happy, because i expect the same effort from him or her if he or she was the seller. simple as that. so if i had to give the package to my mom to send out that day, i would, and i did too at least once.

on the note of some random bloke coming to my pad like that, i would talk. i would talk a lot. i would try my best to understand the situation. if the guy is friendly, i welcome him (maybe he only needs to use the phone or a bathroom). if the guy is aggressive, then i keep him outside and do the best i can to get him away. if the guy is hostile, then i call the cops and stall him. the only time i would use violence is if he is obviously hostile AND breaking into my place with the intent of hurting me or anyone holed up inside. in which case i keep him outside the longest i can without him getting in. once he's inside, though, he's gonna get a nice taste of pepper spray. fox labs 5.3 million SHU ftw! if that won't work (like he's wearing a facemask and goggles... the freak), then it's time to turn to my nighttime home defender of choice: remington 870 12 gauge pump action. that i reserve only for super special circumstances where NO OTHER option will save my life. basically, i resort to lethal action IFF there's no other option to save lives. bottom line: have an open mind; there's no point in starting a war, but there's a point in ending it with as few casualties as possible.

 

[PinkFloyd]

What I don't understand is you and this guy obviously must have communicated via e-mail, if you hadn't then you wouldn't have sold your 'phones to him, I assume he didn't come across as a weirdo through his e-mails? Why should you think the guy was a weirdo in real life? As I say, nobody was injured, the guy didn't threaten you or attack you, seems to me he possibly "could" have been in the hood and was just making an attempt to check out that your address existed / popping in to confirm that you had sent the 'phones or maybe even popping in to collect them whilst he was in the area to save you postage and to ensure expediency.

As said earlier in the thread I live 6,000 miles away from the scene so really am not in a position to comment on the guy's motives but why the hell does everyone "automatically" assume he's some form of lunatic / stalker. Remember, this guy "PAID" for these headphones and was not some random "unknown" sitting outside waiting to abduct this guys family. There's always two sides to every story and I'd love to hear from the guy himself. to brand a person who has paid for a pair of 'phones a lunatic and a stalker just because he happens upon your house is possibly a bit premature IMO, could have been perfectly innocent and "dialogue" (IE speaking to the guy in person) would probably have shown that his intentions were solely with regard to his headphone purchase.

My two cents worth.

 

[ooheadsoo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by PinkFloyd but why the hell does everyone "automatically" assume he's some form of lunatic / stalker.

Because he lives 500 miles away in a different state.

 

[jagorev]

Even if buyer was in CA on business, it is a little creepy to do what he did. Not saying he had bad intentions, but it's just an unfortunate fact of our life now that you shouldn't be sitting in front of the house of someone who you've only contacted through the internet. Without their agreement, at that.

On the other hand, seller needs to grow up. Not every stranger is a homicidal maniac. The best way to deal with people is usually to talk to them openly. If you're selling things on the internet, it really helps if you try your hardest to keep up your end of the deal. If you've failed to do that, it helps to communicate openly, rather than be hostile and refuse to even talk to the person when you hand over the headphones. Your behavior seemed suspicious.

If I was the buyer, I would have spent the extra 10 minutes making sure everything was in order, just because the seller was acting sorta sketchy. And I probably would have called/emailed to apologize for any trouble, and to clear up misperceptions.

The fact that the buyer has apologized and is clearly troubled by the whole affair...means I have more sympathy for him than for the seller. He seems pretty sane to me, if a little weak on etiquette. Seller has a lot to learn about dealing with people in the real world.

 

[squall2072]

Russians in Pinkies back garden... Some bloke conforting a head-fier's mum...whatever next! The worlds gone mad and it seems they're targeting Head-fier's

I'd certainly be a bit concerned when

1. He turned up!
2. He spoke to my mum
3. when he wouldn't leave

I still wanna know what happened to the russian in pinkies garden!

 

[Edwood]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mbriant And be told what? "A guy who paid for his headphones 5 days earlier and whom I told would be shipped out by now showed up at my house unannounced to pick them up?" "He approached and asked my mom a question about the headphones when she left the house ... which frightened not only her, but my sister and me as well?" "I put HIS headphones out on the porch for him but after he picked them up and looked at them, he didn't drive away immediately?" "It's been hours since he was here, and he since emailed me to appologize, but what HE did was "unforgiveable" and I'm still traumatized over it?" They'd have the SWAT team there in minutes. Why does this make me think he was at some point told your mom would be taking the package to the post office? Again, it's too bad we don't have both sides to this story.

Simple. You say this to the police:
"There is a guy that showed up unannounced and unwelcome, that has been harassing my family, and is now parked in front of my home."

Most police departments would take that seriously.

-Ed

 

[ken36]

Post padding?

 

[909]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Edwood Simple. You say this to the police: "There is a guy that showed up unannounced and unwelcome, that has been harassing my family, and is now parked in front of my home." Most police departments would take that seriously. -Ed

I completely agree with Ed. The police, if called would have definitely arrived and spoken with the buyer to assess the situation, his intentions, and asked him to leave with or without the headphones or possibly arrested him. Better to error on the side of caution, yet the police could have only done some much and depending on this individual and the context of the situation the police could have possibly exasperated this already tense and usual situation. Yet still they should have been called at minimum for their advice.

I think some Head-Fiers are belittling the situation in the buyer’s favor. I suppose certain Head-Fiers are not aware that California has strict stalking law, which is not only criminally addressed but civil as well. As I understand it, this buyer approached the seller’s mother and sister separately, which could be considered repeated conduct by the buyer to harass the seller and his family and apparently they were in fear for their safety. I give the buyer the benefit of doubt that he did have any maliciously intent driving 500 miles to confront the seller about not receiving his headphones as soon as he would have liked, shipped when promised or a prompt enough reply, but his conduct verges on violating the criminal stalking laws in the California penal code.

It’s normal conduct for some people to procrastinate in shipping out an item or not to promptly respond to a paid buyer’s email or telephone call. I am not condoning the seller’s conduct, but I am sure most if not all of us have been late doing something, turning in something, sending out something, or paying something. When has anyone ever showed up outside your front door unannounced questioning your family members about your tardiness?

The buyer apparently had concerns whether reasonable or not about this seller not responding and/or shipping the headphones within a timely manner. However, I don’t think five days (some not even business days) is an unreasonable delay to justify driving 500 miles to confront the seller. Let’s not forget the buyer had other more rational options to handled this situation; he could have called or emailed again, waited a bit longer, and then if all else failed requested a refund or disputed the payment.

 

[Mercuttio]

I really wish the other guy would post his side of the story. I think either side could be rationalizing this easily enough...

 

[PinkFloyd]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ooheadsoo Because he lives 500 miles away in a different state.

People take holidays and that involves travel, 500 miles is nothing, he could have been in the area on business. We'll never know unless the guy has an opportunity to tell us. "could have been", "may have been", "I think this", "I think that" are just opinions. Only the person himself can tell us what was going down so, if you're reading this, please do chip in. I don't know about "stalkers" and "lunatics" but some of you guys who would shoot someone just because they were parked outside your house (someone who had bought a pair of 'phones from you as well) need therapy IMO

 

[909]

Quote:

Originally Posted by PinkFloyd People take holidays and that involves travel, 500 miles is nothing, he could have been in the area on business. We'll never know unless the guy has an opportunity to tell us. "could have been", "may have been", "I think this", "I think that" are just opinions. Only the person himself can tell us what was going down so, if you're reading this, please do chip in.

Regardless, you don't show up outside of somebody's house unannounced questioning every person that walks out the front door. The buyer had other more appropriate options available to him that did not involve a face-to-face confrontation.

 

[boodi]

Quote:

Originally Posted by quoteunquote i did tell him i would try and get them out by tuesday. i couldn't get a ride down to the PO and i informed him of that. showing up at my house was bullsh|t. maybe if he emailed me and said.."hey, i'm going to be in your area soon, would it be easier if i just came by and picked them up?" that would have been completely acceptable. instead, he just shows up..confronts my mom when she's walking to her car. scares the hell out of her. and then proceeds to sit in front of my house until i called him.

indid , it's not a correct behavior
I'm 100% on your side
I would have faced him saying " who the hell are you and what the are you doing here , what the hell are you scaring my mother about .. "
and in the case he was back with something like " give me my headphones and stop ******** " , then I would have given him the headphones saying " I hope for your safety you don't come visiting again ; I'm serious " and would have shut the door in front of him .
Police is the other option , no other options available about strangers who go around enquiring and scaring off my friends , relatives , wife , dad , foremost my mother .

Apologize can solve though on any level and side of the facts .

 

[PinkFloyd]

Quote:

Originally Posted by 909 Regardless, you don't show up outside of somebody's house unannounced questioning every person that walks out the front door. The buyer had other more appropriate options available to him that did not involve a face-to-face confrontation.

Maybe not, no. But, and it's a big "but" you equally do not brand someone a lunatic / stalker or a freak without knowing the facts. So far we have the say so of the buyer, nobody else, remember there are always two sides to a story and until I hear the other side I'm not slagging somebody off and calling them all the names under the sun. Prejudice (pre judging) is a dangerous pastime.