Schiit Happened: The Story of the World's Most Improbable Start-Up

[StimpyWan]

2025, Chapter 4
Worst. Customer. Ever…the Sequel.


Those of you who’ve been around for a while may remember the original Worst. Customer. Ever. chapter from a decade ago.

And those who are new to us are probably saying something like, “Oh no, is Schiit attacking one of their customers? Don’t they know The Customer is Always Right? How’s this gonna come out?”

To assuage some of your concerns, let’s make this clear:

We love 99.X% of our customers.

Most of our customers are absolute delights. That’s why we refuse to use awful dehumanizing corp-speak like “consumer,” and “unit” and “customer lifetime value.” It’s why we ask your opinions on things like new Urds and Asgards and Schiitrs and other crazy random ideas that happen along the way. And many of you love us right back. I mean, look at this:



This is amazing.

This is dedication.

This is a great customer.

This is a big part of why we keep trying to do unprecedented and awesome things.

I mean, if we didn’t love (most of) our customers, we shouldn’t be doing what we’re doing. I should be shopping the company out to some faceless investment conglomerate or consumer electronics giant.

But not everyone is perfect.

And some cross the line from imperfection to, well, outright fraud.

And one of them was cheeky enough to piss off Tyler, who now has instituted an entirely new process to counter that fraud.

Aaaaaaaaaannndd….so now I can finally talk about this.


The “Free Amazon Upgrade”

For years, there’s been something I couldn’t talk about: the “Free Amazon Upgrade.”

This is where someone buys, say, a new Magni Unity with DAC…and returns their 10-year-old, Dr. Pepper soaked Magni 2 for a full refund.

Yes, you read that right. Buy a new product, return an old one. Bingo bango, free upgrade.

“Wait, Amazon lets you do that?” someone asks.

Har.

Har har.

You trusting, naïve, wonderful human.

Here’s the thing: Amazon probably doesn’t know. It looks about the same as the photo, if they even bother to look at it. And, even if they look at it, they probably don’t care. It’s not their product, not their money, not their problem.

All they know is that they can’t sell it to someone else. So they refund the person’s money and send it back to us.

Now it’s our problem.

“Oh yeah, though, like, no biggie, you’re a giant impersonal corporation of billionaires who are just getting rich off the back of The Man, and you probably have insurance on your insurance anyway, so who cares, you whiny plutocrats,” someone is probably saying.

Billionaires, LOL. Insurance, LOL x 2.

No, this is our bag, our loss, our deal. And Amazon really doesn’t care. They make it very, very difficult to challenge these kinds of returns, and even more difficult to tie the order to a particular customer.

Aside: here’s the bottom line for any business looking to sell on Amazon. You’re gonna take at least a 30% hit between their vig and returns (normal returns processing, not the aforementioned fraud). Plus advertising costs. Starting to sound like a dealer, hmm? Not sounding so great? Here’s the dilemma: you may also get 80% of your new-to-brand customers from Amazon. Yeah. Oooooogly choice, ain’t it?​

So for years, we took this loss.

And I kept quiet about it, because if I mentioned that this was happening, other people would think, “Hey, this is a great idea,” and we’d get even more of these Free Amazon Upgrades.

And, it became a bit of a joke. “I got an original Magni today,” someone would say, when we got the Amazon returns. “I got a (insert $39 not-Schiit product here),” or “I got a pair of kid’s toy binoculars.”

Aside: all of these actually happened.​

But, you know what? A lot of this you could squint at and say, “you know, maybe the guy just did have, like, 12 Magnis and grabbed the wrong one,” or “maybe that non-Schiit product was a mixup by Amazon,” or something like that.

I mean, yeah, this was fraud, but it was low-level fraud, kinda floor-sweeping opportunistic at best, low energy, low effort.

Until…


Fraud in the First Degree

Tyler stopped me when I came in one morning, his expression a complex mix of incredulity and anger.

“Look at this,” he said, handing me a Skoll.



“What about it?” I asked, not understanding at first.

And then I stopped. It felt…weird. Wrong. Like, about the right weight, but not the right texture. And the embossed “S” logo looked weird. It was like someone had faked it with white tape, rather than the UV ink fill we used…

“Someone 3D printed a Skoll?” I asked.

“Yeah. Came in as an Amazon return,” Tyler said, face reddening.

“Wait. Like an Amazon Free Upgrade return?”

Tyler nodded.

I turned the thing over. It had button and LED holes in about the right place, and simulated side holes. It wasn’t just a rectangular brick. Someone had designed this thing. And it was dense, pretty much the weight of a real Skoll.



“This is heavy,” I said.

“Yeah, brohan used a whole spool of filament on this,” Tyler said.

I stood there, mouth open, just trying to process it all. “So…some guy literally fired up Blender, made a model of our product—”

“—burned through a pound of resin—” Tyler added

“—and made this thing to stick in a box so he could get it free?”

Tyler nodded.

I sighed. “But what can we do? Nothing, right?”

Tyler beamed. “Oh no. Nope nope nope. It was a giant pain, but not only did I figure out how to challenge the refund, but I managed to cross-reference with the order and get a customer ID.”

“Well, that’s too bad—wait, what?”

“We got ‘em,” Tyler said, laughing.

“Wait a second. We can stop the Amazon Upgrade Program?”

Tyler waved a hand. “We can, at least, challenge the refund and probably get the money back, and also report the customer to Amazon by their ID, so Amazon may decide they don’t want them buying anything anymore.”

I nodded. That sounded good.

“I mean, it’s not like we can report them to the police,” Tyler said.

I grimaced, then shook my head. This guy had planned to defraud us, and had gone to great lengths to fabricate a fake product. This was actually really Fraud in the First Degree.

Aside: yeah maybe not making-a-paste-version-of-the-Hope-diamond level, but you get it—this took effort.​

“So is the door really shut? To the Amazon Free Upgrade program, that is?” I asked.

Tyler nodded. “It’s tedious, but it’s time this ends. We’ll be challenging every old product, wrong product, and fake from now on.”

“So I can talk about it?” I asked.

Tyler knew I’d hesitated saying anything about this for a long time, for fear it would attract additional fraudsters. “Go ahead. This one pissed me off.”


Upgrade Program Deleted

So here’s how it’s gonna go now: everything that isn’t the product that’s supposed to be returned from Amazon is gonna be reported. And every person who is sending back not-the-real-deal product is gonna be reported, too.

So, if you’ve been contemplating this amazing new upgrade program, stroking your chin and eyeing the old cat toy in a corner that happens to weigh about as much as a Mani, or if you’re uber-bored and feel like firing up a 3D CAD program to make a fake Saga 2, welllllllllll…maybe think again.

Or you may end up not being able to buy from Amazon. Or you may even get a visit from authorities you don’t want to personally meet. Or, who knows, maybe even a criminal record which won’t be brilliant if you want to run for mayor or dogcatcher in the future. We don’t know about the particulars.

What we do know is: the Free Upgrade Progam stops now.

Thank you, Worst Customer Ever #2.

I would mail the 3D knock-off back to the "customer", with a note stating, SCHIIT Banned For Life...!

 

[AstronomerXI]

Nooooooo! How am I supposed to get my free upgrades now!?

All joking aside; I serve as an admittedly rather extreme example of what Jason means when he says:

Forkbeard wouldn't exist if it wasn't for Schiit's Amazon storefront. I wouldn't be working for them, helping them develop interesting new products. Heck, forget about all that; I wouldn't have spent a considerable amount of coin on their products — or even know that this company existed in the first place. All of that because an old Mac's headphone jack broke and I ended up buying a Hel 2 from Amazon and being impressed at how amazing it sounded and how quiet it was in comparison to what I was used to.

Without Schiit's Amazon storefront, I wouldn't be an audiophile, I wouldn't work for them, and Forkbeard (as well as a bunch of other things that are in the works right now) wouldn't be a thing.

Amazon is effectively dead for me and my wife. In the past week Prime has been cancelled and their Echo listening devices will be in the electronics recycling bin at the local waste transfer station shortly. I'm discovering that many of the items that I'd lazily order from Amazon are available locally, or in my province, or somewhere in Canada either new or used.

 

[xTrIpX]

Someone just HAD to ruin it for the rest of us.

Kidding of course. I would never.

-a trusting, naïve, wonderful human

 

[Bowmoreman]

Ever more fascinating in re: the Paradigms. First, I swapped the tweeters only, from left to right, and the problem stayed on the right. Ergo it is not the tweeter, but could be the crossover… so next, I swapped the entire speakers right to left, and the problem stayed on the right. So, it’s more likely to be my amp (which is seriously old: Superphon DM Two Twenty from around 1988 vintage.

Later today, I’ll take both the speakers downstairs and hot swap em in the working system down there… and maybe take one from down there and move up here to right channel. if they work there, then it’s for sure the amp… and if so, then…

Edit. Just moved a good/working/no problems v3 from downstairs up to the right channel here… problem still exists. It’s the amp.

Off to find a cheapish, decent amp that can drive 87dB efficient speakers for near-field, which shouldn’t be too very difficult. Might be cheaper than speakers, LL

 

[NoBodyNoWhere]

2025, Chapter 4
Worst. Customer. Ever…the Sequel.


Those of you who’ve been around for a while may remember the original Worst. Customer. Ever. chapter from a decade ago.

And those who are new to us are probably saying something like, “Oh no, is Schiit attacking one of their customers? Don’t they know The Customer is Always Right? How’s this gonna come out?”

To assuage some of your concerns, let’s make this clear:

We love 99.X% of our customers.

Most of our customers are absolute delights. That’s why we refuse to use awful dehumanizing corp-speak like “consumer,” and “unit” and “customer lifetime value.” It’s why we ask your opinions on things like new Urds and Asgards and Schiitrs and other crazy random ideas that happen along the way. And many of you love us right back. I mean, look at this:



This is amazing.

This is dedication.

This is a great customer.

This is a big part of why we keep trying to do unprecedented and awesome things.

I mean, if we didn’t love (most of) our customers, we shouldn’t be doing what we’re doing. I should be shopping the company out to some faceless investment conglomerate or consumer electronics giant.

But not everyone is perfect.

And some cross the line from imperfection to, well, outright fraud.

And one of them was cheeky enough to piss off Tyler, who now has instituted an entirely new process to counter that fraud.

Aaaaaaaaaannndd….so now I can finally talk about this.


The “Free Amazon Upgrade”

For years, there’s been something I couldn’t talk about: the “Free Amazon Upgrade.”

This is where someone buys, say, a new Magni Unity with DAC…and returns their 10-year-old, Dr. Pepper soaked Magni 2 for a full refund.

Yes, you read that right. Buy a new product, return an old one. Bingo bango, free upgrade.

“Wait, Amazon lets you do that?” someone asks.

Har.

Har har.

You trusting, naïve, wonderful human.

Here’s the thing: Amazon probably doesn’t know. It looks about the same as the photo, if they even bother to look at it. And, even if they look at it, they probably don’t care. It’s not their product, not their money, not their problem.

All they know is that they can’t sell it to someone else. So they refund the person’s money and send it back to us.

Now it’s our problem.

“Oh yeah, though, like, no biggie, you’re a giant impersonal corporation of billionaires who are just getting rich off the back of The Man, and you probably have insurance on your insurance anyway, so who cares, you whiny plutocrats,” someone is probably saying.

Billionaires, LOL. Insurance, LOL x 2.

No, this is our bag, our loss, our deal. And Amazon really doesn’t care. They make it very, very difficult to challenge these kinds of returns, and even more difficult to tie the order to a particular customer.

Aside: here’s the bottom line for any business looking to sell on Amazon. You’re gonna take at least a 30% hit between their vig and returns (normal returns processing, not the aforementioned fraud). Plus advertising costs. Starting to sound like a dealer, hmm? Not sounding so great? Here’s the dilemma: you may also get 80% of your new-to-brand customers from Amazon. Yeah. Oooooogly choice, ain’t it?​

So for years, we took this loss.

And I kept quiet about it, because if I mentioned that this was happening, other people would think, “Hey, this is a great idea,” and we’d get even more of these Free Amazon Upgrades.

And, it became a bit of a joke. “I got an original Magni today,” someone would say, when we got the Amazon returns. “I got a (insert $39 not-Schiit product here),” or “I got a pair of kid’s toy binoculars.”

Aside: all of these actually happened.​

But, you know what? A lot of this you could squint at and say, “you know, maybe the guy just did have, like, 12 Magnis and grabbed the wrong one,” or “maybe that non-Schiit product was a mixup by Amazon,” or something like that.

I mean, yeah, this was fraud, but it was low-level fraud, kinda floor-sweeping opportunistic at best, low energy, low effort.

Until…


Fraud in the First Degree

Tyler stopped me when I came in one morning, his expression a complex mix of incredulity and anger.

“Look at this,” he said, handing me a Skoll.



“What about it?” I asked, not understanding at first.

And then I stopped. It felt…weird. Wrong. Like, about the right weight, but not the right texture. And the embossed “S” logo looked weird. It was like someone had faked it with white tape, rather than the UV ink fill we used…

“Someone 3D printed a Skoll?” I asked.

“Yeah. Came in as an Amazon return,” Tyler said, face reddening.

“Wait. Like an Amazon Free Upgrade return?”

Tyler nodded.

I turned the thing over. It had button and LED holes in about the right place, and simulated side holes. It wasn’t just a rectangular brick. Someone had designed this thing. And it was dense, pretty much the weight of a real Skoll.



“This is heavy,” I said.

“Yeah, brohan used a whole spool of filament on this,” Tyler said.

I stood there, mouth open, just trying to process it all. “So…some guy literally fired up Blender, made a model of our product—”

“—burned through a pound of resin—” Tyler added

“—and made this thing to stick in a box so he could get it free?”

Tyler nodded.

I sighed. “But what can we do? Nothing, right?”

Tyler beamed. “Oh no. Nope nope nope. It was a giant pain, but not only did I figure out how to challenge the refund, but I managed to cross-reference with the order and get a customer ID.”

“Well, that’s too bad—wait, what?”

“We got ‘em,” Tyler said, laughing.

“Wait a second. We can stop the Amazon Upgrade Program?”

Tyler waved a hand. “We can, at least, challenge the refund and probably get the money back, and also report the customer to Amazon by their ID, so Amazon may decide they don’t want them buying anything anymore.”

I nodded. That sounded good.

“I mean, it’s not like we can report them to the police,” Tyler said.

I grimaced, then shook my head. This guy had planned to defraud us, and had gone to great lengths to fabricate a fake product. This was actually really Fraud in the First Degree.

Aside: yeah maybe not making-a-paste-version-of-the-Hope-diamond level, but you get it—this took effort.​

“So is the door really shut? To the Amazon Free Upgrade program, that is?” I asked.

Tyler nodded. “It’s tedious, but it’s time this ends. We’ll be challenging every old product, wrong product, and fake from now on.”

“So I can talk about it?” I asked.

Tyler knew I’d hesitated saying anything about this for a long time, for fear it would attract additional fraudsters. “Go ahead. This one pissed me off.”


Upgrade Program Deleted

So here’s how it’s gonna go now: everything that isn’t the product that’s supposed to be returned from Amazon is gonna be reported. And every person who is sending back not-the-real-deal product is gonna be reported, too.

So, if you’ve been contemplating this amazing new upgrade program, stroking your chin and eyeing the old cat toy in a corner that happens to weigh about as much as a Mani, or if you’re uber-bored and feel like firing up a 3D CAD program to make a fake Saga 2, welllllllllll…maybe think again.

Or you may end up not being able to buy from Amazon. Or you may even get a visit from authorities you don’t want to personally meet. Or, who knows, maybe even a criminal record which won’t be brilliant if you want to run for mayor or dogcatcher in the future. We don’t know about the particulars.

What we do know is: the Free Upgrade Progam stops now.

Thank you, Worst Customer Ever #2.

I’m astounded at some things people do.

I’m going to toot my own horn here for a moment, but only because I think it is how everyone should behave.

I made my first big Schiit purchase (A Bifrost, Freya+ and Vidar) at the Schiitr in Newhall. When I saw the total, it looked wrong. Too low by several hundred dollars. There was that brief moment where I thought “Hey I could save some money by not saying anything” but I immediately felt a revulsion for who I would be if I did that. I pointed it out and it turned out that the the Freya+ plus had been entered as an older style Freya without tubes. The order was corrected and all was well. I still got a great deal on wonderful gear, and I could show my face without shame at the Schiitr to buy more fun stuff.

I’m really glad Tyler found a way to identify fraudulent buyers.

 

[StimpyWan]

Someone just HAD to ruin it for the rest of us.

Kidding of course. I would never.

-a trusting, naïve, wonderful human

I've read stories, stating that in many cases, returned items are never opened and inspected by Amazon. Refunds are issued automatically, and returned junk are sold as pallets of defects. And the sad thing, customers often returned rocks or bricks in the original packaging, just to scam money, and still keep the purchased item. No worry of being caught, since Amazon inspection took forever to occur, or never happened at all...!

 

[Ableza]

Lots of rumors about McGoohan dropping acid during the filming. It was the first mini-series in TV history. Along with the Avengers (Emma Peel episodes only), The Prisoner, and Monty Python and Faulty Towers all were high on my list then, and have stood the test of time.

Peggy Lee - the inspiration for "Miss Piggy" - "Is That All There Is?" is one of those songs - after you hear it, there isn't much to say.

Peggy Lee is one of the best

 

[xTrIpX]

We love 99.X% of our customers.

I can only imagine the difficulty of the 00.X% that a company like Schiit deals with.

I have a relative who runs a fairly successful Etsy shop selling real, handmade goods. She manages over a 1,000 sales/year. Every now and again, she get's a 00.X% customer that sends her into an absolute Schiit tizzy. Despite the fact that her shop is a small, one-person operation, they expect to be treated to the world when the product is not exactly to their satisfaction. Again, this is a 00.X% case but I can only wonder the ridiculous expectations that the 00.X% levy against a relatively larger company like Schiit, or others.

I've read stories, stating that in many cases, returned items are never opened and inspected by Amazon. Refunds are issued automatically, and returned junk are sold as pallets of defects. And the sad thing, customers often returned rocks or bricks in the original packaging, just to scam money, and still keep the purchased item. No worry of being caught, since Amazon inspection took forever to occur, or never happened at all...!

Correct, I have come across re-sellers who utilize the return pallets that are liquidated by Amazon.

 

[StimpyWan]

Ever more fascinating in re: the Paradigms. First, I swapped the tweeters only, from left to right, and the problem stayed on the right. Ergo it is not the tweeter, but could be the crossover… so next, I swapped the entire speakers right to left, and the problem stayed on the right. So, it’s more likely to be my amp (which is seriously old: Superphon DM Two Twenty from around 1988 vintage.

Later today, I’ll take both the speakers downstairs and hot swap em in the working system down there… and maybe take one from down there and move up here to right channel. if they work there, then it’s for sure the amp… and if so, then…

Off to find a cheapish, decent amp that can drive 87dB efficient speakers for near-field, which shouldn’t be too very difficult

I looked up the crossovers for your speakers, and while I couldn't find a schematic, pictures did show what looked like film caps for the tweeters. So, I wouldn't think the crossovers were suspect. Glad and sad to read the amp might be at issue, but at least the speakers are good.. Hopefully everything will be back to normal soon...!

Oh, I keep an Adcom GFA 5400 amp as a backup to my Aragon. The Adcom is a Mosfet based Nelson Pass design. Warm and musical, with good image placement. 200wpc into a 4 Ohm load, so it could make for a decent replacement for the Superphon. . Though, SCHIIT first, if possible...?

 

[Ableza]

In college my best friend was an English Lit major. He promoted my vague thought of reading Ulysses into a reality.
My friend loaned me his copy of The Bloomsday Book, A Guide Through Ulysses
By Harry Blamires
Very helpful. A newer edition called The New Bloomsday Book... sounds even better.

Lately I feel a need to read Finnegan's Wake. Can anyone suggest a guide that?

From Ulysses, page 689. If you read this far you understand it. Most of the rest is much less opaque.

“Womb? Weary?
He rests. He has travelled.

With?
Sinbad the Sailor and Tinbad the Tailor and Jinbad the Jailer and Whinbad the Whaler and Ninbad the Nailer and Finbad the Failer and Binbad the Bailer and Pinbad the Pailer and Minbad the Mailer and Hinbad the Hailer and Rinbad the Railer and Dinbad the Kailer and Vinbad the Quailer and Linbad the Yailer and Xinbad the Phthailer.”

When?

Going to dark bed there was a square round Sinbad the Sailer roc's auk's eggin the night of the bed of all the auks of the roc's of Darkinbad the Brightdayler.

Where?

Joyce wrote while drunk.

 

[Bowmoreman]

Nooooooo! How am I supposed to get my free upgrades now!?

All joking aside; I serve as an admittedly rather extreme example of what Jason means when he says:

Forkbeard wouldn't exist if it wasn't for Schiit's Amazon storefront. I wouldn't be working for them, helping them develop interesting new products. Heck, forget about all that; I wouldn't have spent a considerable amount of coin on their products — or even know that this company existed in the first place. All of that because an old Mac's headphone jack broke and I ended up buying a Hel 2 from Amazon and being impressed at how amazing it sounded and how quiet it was in comparison to what I was used to.

Without Schiit's Amazon storefront, I wouldn't be an audiophile, I wouldn't work for them, and Forkbeard (as well as a bunch of other things that are in the works right now) wouldn't be a thing.

Begs the ultimate philosophical statement…. How do we disintermediate the world’s largest (and arguably first) disintermediator? Is it even possible at this point?

Edit: @StimpyWan yeah, now that I know it is the amp, top of my list has gotta be Gjallarhorn… I sit 3 feet from these speakers, so 10w into 86dB speakers should be just FINE. Do wish Schiit made low power tube speaker amps, like a tubed version of Gjallarhorn… would only need a few watts… <grin>

(This Superphon has long been my “2nd Amp”… I kept it when I sold my Adcom separates to upgrade to the Classe’ gear at the time I moved from Vandersteens to the Duetta’s. Everyone needs a backup amp, right?)

Anyways, anyone want to trade a Gjallarhorn for a Skoll? Straight up (ish)? I’m at a weak point anon… <grin>

PS: in doing all this I did notice a BIG difference between the L and R speakers; the right one had a LOT of “rock wool/polyfill” in/around the tweeter area. The Left one had NONE… hmmmmmm. It came from the factory this way. Whatever… but, informative, nonetheless...

 

[Reputator]

2025, Chapter 4
Worst. Customer. Ever…the Sequel.


Those of you who’ve been around for a while may remember the original Worst. Customer. Ever. chapter from a decade ago.

And those who are new to us are probably saying something like, “Oh no, is Schiit attacking one of their customers? Don’t they know The Customer is Always Right? How’s this gonna come out?”

To assuage some of your concerns, let’s make this clear:

We love 99.X% of our customers.

Most of our customers are absolute delights. That’s why we refuse to use awful dehumanizing corp-speak like “consumer,” and “unit” and “customer lifetime value.” It’s why we ask your opinions on things like new Urds and Asgards and Schiitrs and other crazy random ideas that happen along the way. And many of you love us right back. I mean, look at this:



This is amazing.

This is dedication.

This is a great customer.

This is a big part of why we keep trying to do unprecedented and awesome things.

I mean, if we didn’t love (most of) our customers, we shouldn’t be doing what we’re doing. I should be shopping the company out to some faceless investment conglomerate or consumer electronics giant.

But not everyone is perfect.

And some cross the line from imperfection to, well, outright fraud.

And one of them was cheeky enough to piss off Tyler, who now has instituted an entirely new process to counter that fraud.

Aaaaaaaaaannndd….so now I can finally talk about this.


The “Free Amazon Upgrade”

For years, there’s been something I couldn’t talk about: the “Free Amazon Upgrade.”

This is where someone buys, say, a new Magni Unity with DAC…and returns their 10-year-old, Dr. Pepper soaked Magni 2 for a full refund.

Yes, you read that right. Buy a new product, return an old one. Bingo bango, free upgrade.

“Wait, Amazon lets you do that?” someone asks.

Har.

Har har.

You trusting, naïve, wonderful human.

Here’s the thing: Amazon probably doesn’t know. It looks about the same as the photo, if they even bother to look at it. And, even if they look at it, they probably don’t care. It’s not their product, not their money, not their problem.

All they know is that they can’t sell it to someone else. So they refund the person’s money and send it back to us.

Now it’s our problem.

“Oh yeah, though, like, no biggie, you’re a giant impersonal corporation of billionaires who are just getting rich off the back of The Man, and you probably have insurance on your insurance anyway, so who cares, you whiny plutocrats,” someone is probably saying.

Billionaires, LOL. Insurance, LOL x 2.

No, this is our bag, our loss, our deal. And Amazon really doesn’t care. They make it very, very difficult to challenge these kinds of returns, and even more difficult to tie the order to a particular customer.

Aside: here’s the bottom line for any business looking to sell on Amazon. You’re gonna take at least a 30% hit between their vig and returns (normal returns processing, not the aforementioned fraud). Plus advertising costs. Starting to sound like a dealer, hmm? Not sounding so great? Here’s the dilemma: you may also get 80% of your new-to-brand customers from Amazon. Yeah. Oooooogly choice, ain’t it?​

So for years, we took this loss.

And I kept quiet about it, because if I mentioned that this was happening, other people would think, “Hey, this is a great idea,” and we’d get even more of these Free Amazon Upgrades.

And, it became a bit of a joke. “I got an original Magni today,” someone would say, when we got the Amazon returns. “I got a (insert $39 not-Schiit product here),” or “I got a pair of kid’s toy binoculars.”

Aside: all of these actually happened.​

But, you know what? A lot of this you could squint at and say, “you know, maybe the guy just did have, like, 12 Magnis and grabbed the wrong one,” or “maybe that non-Schiit product was a mixup by Amazon,” or something like that.

I mean, yeah, this was fraud, but it was low-level fraud, kinda floor-sweeping opportunistic at best, low energy, low effort.

Until…


Fraud in the First Degree

Tyler stopped me when I came in one morning, his expression a complex mix of incredulity and anger.

“Look at this,” he said, handing me a Skoll.



“What about it?” I asked, not understanding at first.

And then I stopped. It felt…weird. Wrong. Like, about the right weight, but not the right texture. And the embossed “S” logo looked weird. It was like someone had faked it with white tape, rather than the UV ink fill we used…

“Someone 3D printed a Skoll?” I asked.

“Yeah. Came in as an Amazon return,” Tyler said, face reddening.

“Wait. Like an Amazon Free Upgrade return?”

Tyler nodded.

I turned the thing over. It had button and LED holes in about the right place, and simulated side holes. It wasn’t just a rectangular brick. Someone had designed this thing. And it was dense, pretty much the weight of a real Skoll.



“This is heavy,” I said.

“Yeah, brohan used a whole spool of filament on this,” Tyler said.

I stood there, mouth open, just trying to process it all. “So…some guy literally fired up Blender, made a model of our product—”

“—burned through a pound of resin—” Tyler added

“—and made this thing to stick in a box so he could get it free?”

Tyler nodded.

I sighed. “But what can we do? Nothing, right?”

Tyler beamed. “Oh no. Nope nope nope. It was a giant pain, but not only did I figure out how to challenge the refund, but I managed to cross-reference with the order and get a customer ID.”

“Well, that’s too bad—wait, what?”

“We got ‘em,” Tyler said, laughing.

“Wait a second. We can stop the Amazon Upgrade Program?”

Tyler waved a hand. “We can, at least, challenge the refund and probably get the money back, and also report the customer to Amazon by their ID, so Amazon may decide they don’t want them buying anything anymore.”

I nodded. That sounded good.

“I mean, it’s not like we can report them to the police,” Tyler said.

I grimaced, then shook my head. This guy had planned to defraud us, and had gone to great lengths to fabricate a fake product. This was actually really Fraud in the First Degree.

Aside: yeah maybe not making-a-paste-version-of-the-Hope-diamond level, but you get it—this took effort.​

“So is the door really shut? To the Amazon Free Upgrade program, that is?” I asked.

Tyler nodded. “It’s tedious, but it’s time this ends. We’ll be challenging every old product, wrong product, and fake from now on.”

“So I can talk about it?” I asked.

Tyler knew I’d hesitated saying anything about this for a long time, for fear it would attract additional fraudsters. “Go ahead. This one pissed me off.”


Upgrade Program Deleted

So here’s how it’s gonna go now: everything that isn’t the product that’s supposed to be returned from Amazon is gonna be reported. And every person who is sending back not-the-real-deal product is gonna be reported, too.

So, if you’ve been contemplating this amazing new upgrade program, stroking your chin and eyeing the old cat toy in a corner that happens to weigh about as much as a Mani, or if you’re uber-bored and feel like firing up a 3D CAD program to make a fake Saga 2, welllllllllll…maybe think again.

Or you may end up not being able to buy from Amazon. Or you may even get a visit from authorities you don’t want to personally meet. Or, who knows, maybe even a criminal record which won’t be brilliant if you want to run for mayor or dogcatcher in the future. We don’t know about the particulars.

What we do know is: the Free Upgrade Progam stops now.

Thank you, Worst Customer Ever #2.

Wooooow... Just curious, has anyone been dumb enough to try this with a direct return to you guys?

 

[corndog71]

Ever more fascinating in re: the Paradigms. First, I swapped the tweeters only, from left to right, and the problem stayed on the right. Ergo it is not the tweeter, but could be the crossover… so next, I swapped the entire speakers right to left, and the problem stayed on the right. So, it’s more likely to be my amp (which is seriously old: Superphon DM Two Twenty from around 1988 vintage.

Later today, I’ll take both the speakers downstairs and hot swap em in the working system down there… and maybe take one from down there and move up here to right channel. if they work there, then it’s for sure the amp… and if so, then…

Edit. Just moved a good/working/no problems v3 from downstairs up to the right channel here… problem still exists. It’s the amp.

Off to find a cheapish, decent amp that can drive 87dB efficient speakers for near-field, which shouldn’t be too very difficult. Might be cheaper than speakers, LL

Gjallerhorn!

If you want a tube amp, maybe look for an old Dynaco ST35 or SCA35.

 

[Jason Stoddard]

Wooooow... Just curious, has anyone been dumb enough to try this with a direct return to you guys?

Not on a direct return.

Also not on FBM (Amazon "Fulfilled by Merchant," meaning we ship it direct to the customer, rather than to Amazon's warehouse). Only FBA (Fulfilled by Amazon).

So why not do ONLY FBM, you ask? Because if you really want something to be seen (and tried by a lot of people), you really need to do FBA. We only do it on some things, and we watch results in great detail. It's really a double-edged sword.

 

[mjstealey]

2025, Chapter 4
Worst. Customer. Ever…the Sequel.


Those of you who’ve been around for a while may remember the original Worst. Customer. Ever. chapter from a decade ago.

And those who are new to us are probably saying something like, “Oh no, is Schiit attacking one of their customers? Don’t they know The Customer is Always Right? How’s this gonna come out?”

To assuage some of your concerns, let’s make this clear:

We love 99.X% of our customers.

Most of our customers are absolute delights. That’s why we refuse to use awful dehumanizing corp-speak like “consumer,” and “unit” and “customer lifetime value.” It’s why we ask your opinions on things like new Urds and Asgards and Schiitrs and other crazy random ideas that happen along the way. And many of you love us right back. I mean, look at this:



This is amazing.

This is dedication.

This is a great customer.

This is a big part of why we keep trying to do unprecedented and awesome things.

I mean, if we didn’t love (most of) our customers, we shouldn’t be doing what we’re doing. I should be shopping the company out to some faceless investment conglomerate or consumer electronics giant.

But not everyone is perfect.

And some cross the line from imperfection to, well, outright fraud.

And one of them was cheeky enough to piss off Tyler, who now has instituted an entirely new process to counter that fraud.

Aaaaaaaaaannndd….so now I can finally talk about this.


The “Free Amazon Upgrade”

For years, there’s been something I couldn’t talk about: the “Free Amazon Upgrade.”

This is where someone buys, say, a new Magni Unity with DAC…and returns their 10-year-old, Dr. Pepper soaked Magni 2 for a full refund.

Yes, you read that right. Buy a new product, return an old one. Bingo bango, free upgrade.

“Wait, Amazon lets you do that?” someone asks.

Har.

Har har.

You trusting, naïve, wonderful human.

Here’s the thing: Amazon probably doesn’t know. It looks about the same as the photo, if they even bother to look at it. And, even if they look at it, they probably don’t care. It’s not their product, not their money, not their problem.

All they know is that they can’t sell it to someone else. So they refund the person’s money and send it back to us.

Now it’s our problem.

“Oh yeah, though, like, no biggie, you’re a giant impersonal corporation of billionaires who are just getting rich off the back of The Man, and you probably have insurance on your insurance anyway, so who cares, you whiny plutocrats,” someone is probably saying.

Billionaires, LOL. Insurance, LOL x 2.

No, this is our bag, our loss, our deal. And Amazon really doesn’t care. They make it very, very difficult to challenge these kinds of returns, and even more difficult to tie the order to a particular customer.

Aside: here’s the bottom line for any business looking to sell on Amazon. You’re gonna take at least a 30% hit between their vig and returns (normal returns processing, not the aforementioned fraud). Plus advertising costs. Starting to sound like a dealer, hmm? Not sounding so great? Here’s the dilemma: you may also get 80% of your new-to-brand customers from Amazon. Yeah. Oooooogly choice, ain’t it?​

So for years, we took this loss.

And I kept quiet about it, because if I mentioned that this was happening, other people would think, “Hey, this is a great idea,” and we’d get even more of these Free Amazon Upgrades.

And, it became a bit of a joke. “I got an original Magni today,” someone would say, when we got the Amazon returns. “I got a (insert $39 not-Schiit product here),” or “I got a pair of kid’s toy binoculars.”

Aside: all of these actually happened.​

But, you know what? A lot of this you could squint at and say, “you know, maybe the guy just did have, like, 12 Magnis and grabbed the wrong one,” or “maybe that non-Schiit product was a mixup by Amazon,” or something like that.

I mean, yeah, this was fraud, but it was low-level fraud, kinda floor-sweeping opportunistic at best, low energy, low effort.

Until…


Fraud in the First Degree

Tyler stopped me when I came in one morning, his expression a complex mix of incredulity and anger.

“Look at this,” he said, handing me a Skoll.



“What about it?” I asked, not understanding at first.

And then I stopped. It felt…weird. Wrong. Like, about the right weight, but not the right texture. And the embossed “S” logo looked weird. It was like someone had faked it with white tape, rather than the UV ink fill we used…

“Someone 3D printed a Skoll?” I asked.

“Yeah. Came in as an Amazon return,” Tyler said, face reddening.

“Wait. Like an Amazon Free Upgrade return?”

Tyler nodded.

I turned the thing over. It had button and LED holes in about the right place, and simulated side holes. It wasn’t just a rectangular brick. Someone had designed this thing. And it was dense, pretty much the weight of a real Skoll.



“This is heavy,” I said.

“Yeah, brohan used a whole spool of filament on this,” Tyler said.

I stood there, mouth open, just trying to process it all. “So…some guy literally fired up Blender, made a model of our product—”

“—burned through a pound of resin—” Tyler added

“—and made this thing to stick in a box so he could get it free?”

Tyler nodded.

I sighed. “But what can we do? Nothing, right?”

Tyler beamed. “Oh no. Nope nope nope. It was a giant pain, but not only did I figure out how to challenge the refund, but I managed to cross-reference with the order and get a customer ID.”

“Well, that’s too bad—wait, what?”

“We got ‘em,” Tyler said, laughing.

“Wait a second. We can stop the Amazon Upgrade Program?”

Tyler waved a hand. “We can, at least, challenge the refund and probably get the money back, and also report the customer to Amazon by their ID, so Amazon may decide they don’t want them buying anything anymore.”

I nodded. That sounded good.

“I mean, it’s not like we can report them to the police,” Tyler said.

I grimaced, then shook my head. This guy had planned to defraud us, and had gone to great lengths to fabricate a fake product. This was actually really Fraud in the First Degree.

Aside: yeah maybe not making-a-paste-version-of-the-Hope-diamond level, but you get it—this took effort.​

“So is the door really shut? To the Amazon Free Upgrade program, that is?” I asked.

Tyler nodded. “It’s tedious, but it’s time this ends. We’ll be challenging every old product, wrong product, and fake from now on.”

“So I can talk about it?” I asked.

Tyler knew I’d hesitated saying anything about this for a long time, for fear it would attract additional fraudsters. “Go ahead. This one pissed me off.”


Upgrade Program Deleted

So here’s how it’s gonna go now: everything that isn’t the product that’s supposed to be returned from Amazon is gonna be reported. And every person who is sending back not-the-real-deal product is gonna be reported, too.

So, if you’ve been contemplating this amazing new upgrade program, stroking your chin and eyeing the old cat toy in a corner that happens to weigh about as much as a Mani, or if you’re uber-bored and feel like firing up a 3D CAD program to make a fake Saga 2, welllllllllll…maybe think again.

Or you may end up not being able to buy from Amazon. Or you may even get a visit from authorities you don’t want to personally meet. Or, who knows, maybe even a criminal record which won’t be brilliant if you want to run for mayor or dogcatcher in the future. We don’t know about the particulars.

What we do know is: the Free Upgrade Progam stops now.

Thank you, Worst Customer Ever #2.

The lengths at which some folks will go to defraud is baffling to me ...

I was on the receiving end of an Amazon return that had obviously not been checked, and then resold as "new".
Last summer my son and I planned a PC build project as a way for him to better understand what goes on under the hood.

Parts ordered, some from Amazon due to convenience, and as we start laying out parts for the build we go to grab the NVMe drive to find ... an empty box.
Not even an attempt to stick a cat toy in there, just empty space and folded up paperwork.
Upon close inspection it looked as if the seal had been opened, and then carefully resealed, but I really had to stare at it a while to see anything out of place.
After some chat and form filling we were able to get a replacement, but who does this kind of thing?

Glad to hear you all have a way to fight this kind of fraud going forward.
I know I wouldn't want to get on Tyler's Schiit list!