[LeDave]

How do you get over what other people thinks about you? I was born shy all my life and have always been quiet and reserved. I also have problems with people thinking about me. Very few people think negatively about me but, in fact I don't know anybody who does think negative of me. But I can't get over the fact that people MIGHT think negative about me so I am scared to make decisions in life like simple phone calls, talking with authorities, etc. I need your help because I need to make a change as I am 23 and yet it is quite sad for me to feel and think in such a way. Please remember that it's easier said than done, so please baby step me the way.

 

[roadcykler]

I used to be pretty shy myself but as I've gotten older I've decided that I care less and less what anyone thinks (or may think) about me. I don't go out of my way to do odd stuff or wear purple shoes with red socks but I just do what I do and if others can't handle it, that's on them. I can no more control what anyone else thinks than I can control what the sun does.

 

[gopanthersgo1]

I was REAL shy, but got a lot better, just try not to care, and you'll be fine, da fudge they care? Be you.

 

[streetdragon]

I don't care about people looking at me oddly for my preferences, but if i have been lets say rude unknowlingly or did something in appropriate, i may take that into account and try to fix it be a better person.

 

[LeDave]

I used to be pretty shy myself but as I've gotten older I've decided that I care less and less what anyone thinks (or may think) about me. I don't go out of my way to do odd stuff or wear purple shoes with red socks but I just do what I do and if others can't handle it, that's on them. I can no more control what anyone else thinks than I can control what the sun does.

That's beautiful, thank you. I no less control than what I let others control of me. The more I let others think of me, the less I think of myself. Got the formula down, here comes some change.

 

[gopanthersgo1]

That's beautiful, thank you. I no less control than what I let others control of me. The more I let others think of me, the less I think of myself. Got the formula down, here comes some change.

Great!

 

[wuwhere]

What other people see and judge about you is beyond your control. You control yourself, your behavior, your attitude, how you feel and everything else about yourself. Don't change to please other people but don't be offensive to other people. People like to be around people who talk or communicate with them, who express their feelings. So the more you talk and show your feelings, opinion, point of view the more you gain self confidence, I think. Others might not agree with you but that's alright, that is part of communicating, discussion, interaction. The more you communicate the more people around you gets comfortable and perhaps like hanging out with you.

 

[Parall3l]

I think your breath smell bad and should brush more.
 
 
 
 
There is no reason to care about what people think of you unless their opinions have an effect on you. 
 
For example, you should not care about what that guy who is going to be flipping burgers at McDonalds for the rest of his life thinks of your "swag". However, if your boss thinks you're a person who doesn't shower as much as he should, then you should get to work smelling like a flower shop the next day.

 

[thoughtcriminal]

Its important to think endgame. At the end of your life, on your deathbed, you won't be answering to any of these people who pass in and out of your life. Why should you answer to them now? Do what makes your life happy and full filling, surround yourself with like minded folk who like you for you, not what they want you to be.

 

[warrenpchi]

Well, you seem to be all set now.  But what I was going to say was simply this... are you happy being overly concerned with the opinions of others?  Furthermore, do you think that being so concerned makes others happy?  I think you already know the answer to both, so I will simply offer you well wishes instead! 

  Happy Life!

 

[JadeEast]

I see the need to accept that there are times where I will feel uncomfortable and/or fearful.
That's not good or bad, it's life.
Can I move towards what I desire, want, and need in my life while still feeling uncomfortable? 
I like this clip talking about "failing" for inspiration: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84NjYRTHpfU&t=24m

 

[mrinspire]

Just be you and you are the one who will actually responsible for your very own future, not other people.

 

[obobskivich]

Two random tidbits that come to mind:

- Screw'em if they can't take a joke! (the actual version of this is a lot less...PC)

- If they hate your existence, keep on existing - give'em something to really get ruffled about!

The broader stroke is basically that you can only control you, so handle your business, and if someone else has a problem with that, it's their choice to get mad, their choice to act like an animal, and their choice to be a jerk. You have as much control over that, as you do over the Sun rising. Of course you shouldn't go out of your way to be a jerk to everyone, but at the same time, the vast majority of people you interact with are single-serving; so who really cares?

On compromising - true compromise is a fantastic thing, but kowtowing is another thing altogether; figure out the difference, and decide which hills are worth dying on.

The other component is that socialization, like writing, coding, playing an instrument, riding a bike, and so on is helped along by practice.

 

[matthewh133]

Start going to the gym.

 

[adamlr]

im 23 myself, and i have gone through a great transformation through the years, i started off as a scrawny geek, too clever for my own good, got frustrated with "society" and became a "freak", getting into fights and violent tantrums, then as i came out of adolescence i calmed down, stopped being violent, and gradually opened up to people. leaving school and getting to know "the real world", together with a few years in the army (compulsory in my country) have taught me alot. heres my 2 cents, all in my very humble opinion:
 
i think wanting people to like you is a catch 22 situation. if you care so much about what others think, i imagine youll tend to try and change around them, and "give them what they want". its boring to be around people who have no opinions of their own and who always agree with you, the more you try to be liked, the less you will be liked. "be yourself" is actually very good advice. because you will never achieve 100% likeability. its best to be true to your own convictions. that way your conversations with people will be heart felt, and you can keep them going for longer, as everything is coming from within, and not from what you think the other person wants to hear - which you have no way of knowing anyway.
 
i think accepting that sometimes people wont like you is important. it will happen no matter what you do and you have no control over it. imo, once you embrace this, and free yourself of this concern, aknowledging that sometimes theres just nothing you can do can be very calming and even empowering. 
 
infact, the very moment i decided that i dont want ANYONE to like me, is the same moment that people started to like me! and once i calmed down about it and stopped being belligerent, i found myself surrounded by more and more people, some of them were types i never thought i could get along with. these days im friendly with the same kind of people i used to get into fights with at school.
 
think about the people you like yourself. i know id rather be around people with strong convictions and opinions, people who can surprise you, people who speak from the heart and dont mess about beating around the bush. if i annoy people (except for when i do it on purpose) then what the hell, you cant win them all! just like some people get on my nerves, i will also get on other peoples nerves - thats just how it is.
 
it all boils down (imo) to not caring. if your true to yourself, and disassociate yourself from thoughts of what others want, friends and popularity will inadvertently build themselves around you, so long as you stay yourself.
i for example, believe in complete honesty, not because of religion or anything of the sort, just because i see no logical reason to lie. if ever i dont feel like talking about something, ill say that i dont want to talk about it, instead of inventing a lie. i also like "shock value", and tend to point out uncomfortable truths in those awkward moments you know everyone is thinking it - im that guy who points it out out-loud and makes a joke of it. for this reason, people know they can always count on me for an honest opinion. even my mother, if shes trying to decide what to wear for a family get together, shell come to ask my opinion - not my fathers : p. i make fun of myself very often, its a sign of self confidence and people will respect you for it. if something bothers me - i point it out, if i like something - i point it out. i believe that if you express your opinions, you draw others to yourself.
 
your shy and reserved? embrace it, thats who you are.
authority? i think authority respects its own kind. this is one of the places i think being completely honest - even if you may get into trouble, comes in handy. why was i in the executive office at 3 oclock in the morning during a night shift? i went to get a bottle of coca cola... my boss was so shocked that i told him upfront and didnt invent something up - he laughed and went on to regular work conversation without even telling me "dont do it again".
 
reading over all ive written, its a bit fragmented, im sorry, sometimes i find it hard to express myself. i hope i come off as humble, and i hope i was of some use. best of luck