One slip and down the hole we fall......

Sep 12, 2006 at 4:20 AM Post #31 of 41
Wow, that story has everything. The stuff you did is hilarious.

You come across as the classic alcoholic. I think you really should see about going to AA, it sounds like it should be part of your life on a permanent basis. I have several friends who have been sober for decades with AA, and their story in regards to alcohol and its power over them is much like yours. They're all much happier in regards to alcohol.

Good luck....
 
Sep 12, 2006 at 10:15 AM Post #32 of 41
Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr.PD
Thank you for posting this. I have been contemplating going out and getting stinking drunk the last couple of days. I do bad things when I'm drinking, and have no knowledge of what happens.


Glad you haven't gone out and gotten drunk Pauly. I can assure you it's just the way it always was, nothing changed there, go dizzy and stoopid for a while and then feel like total crap the following day (and, dependent on what you got up to on your drunk night, may feel crap for MANY days afterward)

Hold on to those reins Pauly and grit your teeth going over that rough patch, you'll get over it a lot easier without introducing alcohol into the equation. Keep up the good work man.

Mike.
 
Sep 12, 2006 at 1:50 PM Post #33 of 41
Quote:

Originally Posted by pne
well to be fair, its some feat to be able to start both a lawn mower and a chain saw after a litre of the hard stuff, much less type out actual sentences and work an email program...



"Not" when it's something your body was used to for almost 20 years it's just the brain it affects and makes me do zany things.

I knew there was a reason behind chopping that tree down
tongue.gif


DSCF5819.jpg


DSCF5816.jpg
 
Sep 12, 2006 at 2:04 PM Post #34 of 41
Big Pink:

I've been posting far too many serious comments of late, but allow me to both support you and be sympathetically amused.

The binge you've described is worthy of Raymond Carver. It makes me think you have the material for a book which should be used to beat James Frey into a shallow puddle. (Imagine being so inauthentic as to manufacture not only your virtues, but also your shortcomings and vices. "A Million Little Pieces" -- an irremediably cliched title for a styrofoam-light book that should signal the death-knell of the literary memoir -- which usually rings more false than identifiable fiction.)

I really love the sense of rightness about mowing the lawn and leveling the tree. It puts me in mind of one of my favorite stories by P.G. Wodehouse.

Your account of abusing your friend and recalling none of it speaks volumes about your persona on Head-fi. Real blackouts are telling. All of it suggests to me that you are not, as some have said, a "bully" but, rather, an afflicted person who sometimes succumbs to a common chemical illness. A relative of mine has the same problem: the police once found him circling a large traffic island in the early morning with no recollection of why or how he got there.

Your account proves to me that you have been sincere when you've said you don't intend to insult people -- I've never been certain of this before. Your pain seems reasonable and real.

Better, I think, to have offended a few neighbors and temporarily alienated a friend than to have lost a posh gig, betrayed a partner or blown an important relationship irretrievably. In my view, it is a good and constructive thing you're single at the moment: you seem to be sorting things out and settling into your commitment never to drink again. I believe your commitment has an excellent chance of taking root. With your personality and talents epistolary and electrical, a bit of resolve (and sober adaptation) might lob you skyward into a rewarding and enviable life. The problem doesn't seem to me to be that you're of a certain age or look a particular way (we all suspect we're actually creaky and homely) but, rather, that you've been stalled at an unpleasant stage which, thankfully, is about to end. I've seen great results from people at your stage. My traffic-island-wandering glibling (who is not terribly young) has been sober for over a decade and earned more degrees in the whinemeal than I have thus far.

I've wondered about the sense of sadness and futility I've felt in your posts on occasion; now all of it seems self-explanatory, given the change you're making. (I do hope you'll reap the benefits of AA while you're in recovery, since it seems a superb place to make contacts apart from its therapeutic value.)

What I've tried not to mention with any specificity on Head-fi is that, long ago, two serious girlfriends of mine were claimed -- fatally -- by addiction and foul play. It pains me to see anyone struggle with anything that grave.

However, two other exes have recovered and are now successful: one incredibly so as a designer, the other, reasonably so as an author and TV columnist. (And yes, I've been far more observant for the past eight years and haven't dated any addicts.)

Things will improve. You've valuable insights and infectious wit and want to commit both to page and I believe you will -- for a start. What you'll accomplish when you settle in is better left addressed by Emerson and Nietzsche -- don't you think?
 
Sep 12, 2006 at 5:01 PM Post #35 of 41
Mike, when I quit smoking (back in 1982) I was smoking 2 packs a day plus a Partagas Cigar and pipe tobaco. Since I new how much I was spending I started to set aside that ammount and after a year I took me a heck of an overseas vacation all financed by the smoking fund.

Perhaps you could set up a similar fund and use all the savings for some new toy you really want but could not justify. Good luck.
 
Sep 12, 2006 at 6:22 PM Post #36 of 41
Hi, Mike --

Are you making the necessary precautions? Of course, rather than beating yourself up, or observing and analyzing -- run like a motivated tri-athlete to the nearest (preferred) support group!!!!! Don't count on "yourself". Where there's a "structural weakness", shore it up with a support contingency. (...unless that hasn't worked for you, or self-support has been successful in the past...)

Sincerest Best Wishes -- Peter
 
Sep 12, 2006 at 6:26 PM Post #37 of 41
Quote:

Originally Posted by PinkFloyd
"Not" when it's something your body was used to for almost 20 years it's just the brain it affects and makes me do zany things.

I knew there was a reason behind chopping that tree down
tongue.gif


DSCF5816.jpg



!!! ??? WHAZZAT???


Pretty neat stump, BTW.
 
Sep 13, 2006 at 9:33 AM Post #38 of 41
Quote:

Originally Posted by eyeresist
Um, if that was true, no-one would have a problem staying sober! People take drugs (including alcohol) because it feels good, and they stop because of negative effects it has on other parts of life.
But it's certainly true that drugs aren't a good answer to any of life's problems (unless your problem is that you have good health and haven't publicly disgraced yourself).



The drug I was referring to in this case was alcohol. I don't think it does anybody much good--they just think it does. And boy does it make the user sound stupid . . .
plainface.gif


How many drunks do you know that use "Sommelier" or "Wine Hobbiest" as a cover for being half in the bag most of the time? I know several. Their "tastings" are actually benders with a hifalutin, affected alibi.
 
Sep 13, 2006 at 9:40 AM Post #39 of 41
Quote:

Originally Posted by PinkFloyd
"Not" when it's something your body was used to for almost 20 years it's just the brain it affects and makes me do zany things.

I knew there was a reason behind chopping that tree down
tongue.gif


DSCF5819.jpg


DSCF5816.jpg



I know this is off topic, but I must say, that's a very fine stump (but too bad you lost a fine tree). I can't produce a stump like that, stone sober. How did you get so good with a chain saw? You live on a farm of some sort, if I'm not mistaken?
 
Sep 13, 2006 at 10:10 AM Post #40 of 41
Sounds like a good time. The hell with it. God protects drunks. I never really quit drinking until i got too old, I gained too much responsibilty with family and job, and the hangovers became unbearable.
 
Sep 13, 2006 at 10:47 AM Post #41 of 41
Pinkie, we all fall in our moments of weakness. We're not perfect in this world but we do the best we can to strive for perfection. I'm glad that you or no one else got hurt, and hopefully this event will serve to you to be more strong in staying sober for good. As mentioned by others earlier in this thread, 15 months of being sober is a heck of a long time. If you can do it for 15 months, I'm sure you can go on for much more than that with some support and will power.
 

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