[YamiTenshi]

Quote:

Originally Posted by earache Dude, you've got a bad case of possibly trying so hard that nothing is gonna work out. Hey if it's meant to be, then it's meant to be! Pretty deep I know,.... good luck

Agree. Don't try too hard, because if her past relationships didn't work out too well then you might scare her away if you're being too good to her. Just be her best friend, listen to what she has to say, and be by her side when she needs you. Again, don't try too hard, let things progress naturely (whatever that means).

And congrats on finding such a great girl. Hope it works out.

 

[kentamcolin]

Read "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman, figure out what hers are and "speak" to her in that language. This book really helped us. Basically, there are specific ways that we all feel loved; by receiving words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, physical touch, or quality time. Problem is that we usually express love to another in the way we most like to receive it. For instance: I need words of affirmation, so it was natural for me to tell my wife how much I loved her, how special she was etc. Her primary love language on the other hand was quality time. No matter how much I told her, she didn't feel loved until she saw me making choices to spend time with her. Choosing to hang with her instead of doing something else I usually do for instance. When I did, she would tell me how great I was and we both felt loved. The book goes into much more detail of course, but it really is a very simple concept.

It's great you have someone in your life who is so special. Learn about her, study her, validate her by telling her the things you like about her. Also, talk about lots of things, ask lots of questions. Ask how she feels about stuff and really listen. Your job is to not focus on how she makes you feel, but how you make her feel. Finding a lasting relationship is more about being the right person rather than finding the right person. Do things together that help other people. It's a great feeling to volunteer and serve others together.

 

[aeriyn]

I'll give you a suggestion from the other side of the fence; my side.

You want a girl to feel loved and special? It's really easy; listen to her. Listen to anything she has to say, and I don't mean in one ear and out the other. Listen, learn, comment, even debate sometimes. If I'm dating someone and they don't like to listen to me, I'm going to be rather upset.

 

[GoRedwings19]

Quote:

Originally Posted by aeriyn I'll give you a suggestion from the other side of the fence; my side. You want a girl to feel loved and special? It's really easy; listen to her. Listen to anything she has to say, and I don't mean in one ear and out the other. Listen, learn, comment, even debate sometimes. If I'm dating someone and they don't like to listen to me, I'm going to be rather upset.

WHAT??? Sorry can you repeat that I wasn't listening?

 

[eyeteeth]

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Mac now, I know that this is a really obvious one, but how about just telling her? Tell her that you think she's amazing, or write a letter (by hand) and mail it to her letting her know how you feel. It's amazing how much opening up your feelings to someone can accomplish.

The_Mac is 3/4 right BUT DO NOT mail it to her. If you must express yourself in writing, just hand it to her when together (earlier the better of that particular time together) or read it yourself. One positive of writing is the sense of permanence (positive if things work out), aside from verbal fumbling (unless she finds that endearing).
The more time together, the more communication there will be and the more comfortable you'll be.

Good Luck

(Masters Degree

)
[size=xx-small]see below[/size]

 

[Canman]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fizzmix I'm certainly doing my best to treat her special every single day, but I know that I'll run out of ways to do it eventually.

Being there for someone never gets old.

 

[Daroid]

Things should come by heart and not by other people's advice. You know her well, we don't. It sounds like you're afraid of doing something wrong because you have known her for a long time, and want this to last. I think girls sometimes can be overwhelmed with all the feelings guys have, and some (unfortunately) understands this as being all lust. So say nice things, but not at once. Let her talk and listen and answer... don't think so much about what you should say (i.e. don't make a speech in advance).

Rather off-topic, but found this rather funny

EDIT:
Quote:

I'm certainly doing my best to treat her special every single day, but I know that I'll run out of ways to do it eventually.

Specially treated in which way ? Everyone will get tired of this in the end if it is not appreciated.
Do you feel that she takes advantage of you ? (i.e. doesn't appreciate or see that she is treated special)

 

[Bunnyears]

Quote:

Originally Posted by soundboy Fizzmix, you lucky #@&*^?~! How about surprising her with a weekend getaway? Doesn't have to be far (or expensive)....just somewhere for you 2 lovebirds to experience together.

A weekend getaway for a 19 year old? I think that's rushing things. It's really the little things that let a girl know someone really cares: holding doors, opening car doors for her getting in and getting out, taking packages from her to carry, letting her go first, etc. Old fashioned manners are so rare that they come as a welcome surprise. Other things include going to chick flicks with her rather than just the usual action film, getting tickets for events that she wouldn't dream of going to alone, and being friendly with her girl friends. If the girl friends like you, you are made, but be warned: girlfriends have great bulls**t detectors when it comes to the boyfriends of their girlfriends (it usually fails for their own boyfriends, which is why they rely so heavily on the opinions of their friends). Go slow, and demonstrate that some occasional bad manners and general crankiness wont scare you away. Just don't be a total wimp and you will get there as long as she is feeling the chemistry. If there is no chemistry for her, there's not much you can do.

 

[saab]

Fiz,

edit: Man, I should read the whole post first I guess...

There is a GREAT book called the The Five Love Languages. It describes how different people show how they feel and how they need to be shown how the other feels. I recomend at least perusing though it. Some people need to be told, some people need to be shown, etc... It is vital to a long term relationship that you learn to speak her "language" I hope this made sense.

Another thing to remember is that no matter how hard you try, and want to be perfect, there will be times when things are not the best. These are the times that will define your relationship. Learn and grow from them and don't give up.

Best of luck to you in this relationship.
-John

 

[TWIFOSP]

Women LOVE when you hide little notes for them that they will find through out the day.

Just write random sentiments, simple and short on a folded piece of paper on a note and hide it in her lunch when she isn't looking. Day planner, pocket, front seat of the car, coat, keyboard, whatever.

Little gifts rock too, see a little cheasy stuffed animal, buy and it put a bow on it. Write a note telling her it made you think of her. She'll melt.

Don't do it too often or it'll start to seem routine, but every now and then.... and she'll go gaga.

Flowers are nice, but can be corny.

The listening thing that Jahn was talking about... SPOT on. In some of my earlier relationships I ALWAYS tried to give advice when a girl was complaining or explaining a problem to me. I never did figure out why they were annoyed... when my guy friends complained, they wanted advice. Girls just want empathy. Be cool with that, and you're golden.

Oh, and verbally saying "you're special" never hurts either.

And if it's serious enough and you really want to get the points, spotaneous trip. This requires a bit of advancement in the relationship though, as you need access to her stuff.

Make some loose plans for the weekend, just so you know she's not doing anything else. Go hom early from work on Friday, pack a suit case for yourself, and get access to pack hers too.

When she gets home, don't tell her where your going, just throw the suit cases in the car, jump on a plane, drive, take a train whatever, and stay at some bed and breakfast a few hours away.

Simple, not very expensive if you don't want it to be (country bed and breakfast places are cheap and you can drive), and seriously, she'll absolutely love it.

I've done this twice in a couple different serious 6+ month relationship, and aftward I think the girl was puddy in my hands (not the reason to do it, just a consequence, albiet a good one) for a good while afterward.

Just be creative.