[Fizzmix]

Hey guys,

About a week and a bit ago, I started dating this incredible person. I have known her and been friends with her for almost a year. I've probably dated... ~25 girls, and dated about 5 of them long-term. I know what I like and desire in a relationship. The girl I'm dating now is pretty well the perfect match for me, as she's beautiful, and fulfills all of my emotional and intellectual needs. Plus, she's as crazy about me as I am about her.

She's incredibly special, and unfortunately, hasn't always been treated that way in past relationships.

This is likely a very silly place to ask, as it's a headphone forum, but reading posts, I get the idea that most of the people who post here are fairly experienced in life matters...

But could anyone give me some suggestions on how to make her know how special I think she is?

It could be a simple gesture, or a sustained thing, as I'm quite dedicated to making things great between us.

Any advice/opinions would be very much appreciated!

 

[viator122]

Giver her the most important and valuable thing you have...your time.

 

[Jahn]

Quote:

Originally Posted by viator122 Giver her the most important and valuable thing you have...your time.

and your ear when you're spending that time. listening is key. let her jibber jabber away about anything and at least know what she's saying. don't tune out man! never say "uh huh" - they're too crafty for that! and don't give advice on "how to solve it" on whatever she's saying unless she asks for it!

yes it takes alot of effort to actively listen. but if you can spend hours on the subtleties of a senn vs. a Grado, perhaps listening to the womenfolk shouldn't be such a chore.

 

[cosmopragma]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fizzmix She's incredibly special, and unfortunately, hasn't always been treated that way in past relationships. !

Don't talk too much about the shadows of the past, just treat her extra good and let it grow.

 

[The_Mac]

now, I know that this is a really obvious one, but how about just telling her?

Tell her that you think she's amazing, or write a letter (by hand) and mail it to her letting her know how you feel.

It's amazing how much opening up your feelings to someone can accomplish.

 

[GoRedwings19]

You could tell her she's the sennheiser Orpheus's of girlfriends.....aw come on

Seriously, treat her like everydays her birthday if you want to keep her.

If you don't want to keep her then treat her like !"?

 

[Jasper994]

Some really good advice so far... Also do little things, from time to time, as added reminder of how much you care for her. Flowers once every couple of weeks can make a girl feel very special. You don't have to be extravagent all the time either. A single rose with a note to say "I love you" left for her to find will make her feel very special. Also, as the relationship progresses, remember to keep taking her out and things like that. You don't want to ever let the relationship start feeling tired. Also, make sure you're serving her in bed as much as yourself. I think a lot of people take for granted the importance of a strong sexual relationship to go with the emotional relationship. Others of course forget the emotional side and concentrate only on the sexual side, and that's every bit as bad...

 

[soundboy]

Fizzmix, you lucky #@&*^?~!

How about surprising her with a weekend getaway? Doesn't have to be far (or expensive)....just somewhere for you 2 lovebirds to experience together.

 

[LFF]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jahn and your ear when you're spending that time. listening is key. let her jibber jabber away about anything and at least know what she's saying. don't tune out man! never say "uh huh" - they're too crafty for that! and don't give advice on "how to solve it" on whatever she's saying unless she asks for it! yes it takes alot of effort to actively listen. but if you can spend hours on the subtleties of a senn vs. a Grado, perhaps listening to the womenfolk shouldn't be such a chore.

Completely agree. Time and true listening. On another side - you may want to give her a real good orgasm but hold out yourself. Show her you rather please her and that her pleasure is yours as well.

 

[blip]

Ahh, Fizzmix, you remind me of myself but a few years ago.

Helping someone through past relationship issues can be hard. Now I don't know how bad her past experiences were, but whatever it is, believe me, you can be the key to getting her more or less totally past it.

The most important thing to do is just be there. Let her talk about her feelings, be supportive.... It really isn't that hard. Try to create times when the two of you can just relax together...

Only you really know what will work best (somewhere deep in your heart you do, believe me) to make her feel better. My partner would be rather blase about flowers or cards or candy or even jewlery but she goes crazy for a little get-away. As for dealing with the actual emotional issue, my belief is that the best way to make someone feel good about themselves is just keep on saying it (and make sure that she knows you mean it, otherwise its no good). But others will disagree... so feel out your own path.

Also be very careful around particular issues or things that might be related to her past experiences... remember you will, from time to time, slip up and accidentally emotionally hurt her (you're both human, even if you are in love) and if she is already sensitive in a particular area, its going to hurt a lot more. That will fade, eventually, but at first it pays to be cautious.

Most of all just do what feels right. Let your feelings for her guide you on most things and you'll do great.

 

[Fizzmix]

Thanks for all the tips guys!

I am quite good at the listening thing, so that shouldn't be a problem (Plus, she's extremely interesting anyway to listen to, so that doesn't hurt.)

I definitely agree about the not bringing up the past. I know her last boyfriend did that, and she's told me how much it bothered her, so I'm being cautious about that.

About the telling her how I feel, I'm definitely doing that. I'm making a conscious effort to let her know every time we're together. My only concern is that it will get worn out, but I try to find different ways to tell her, and I make sure she knows I'm sincere. I'm extremely open emotionally, so she usually can pick up on my feelings, which helps.

I'm certainly doing my best to treat her special every single day, but I know that I'll run out of ways to do it eventually.

Given the choice, I will actually serve the girl in bed rather than myself, because it is more rewarding to make her feel good, so I'm covered there!

I think the biggest thing for me is the little things. In my most serious relationship (2 and a half years) I all but forgot about the little things. We never went out anymore, or did anything out of the ordinary. We got stuck in a rut, and things became tired, boring, and predictable. We never did get out of the rut, and she ended up cheating on me, and dating the guy (Who was one of my best friends at the time. They're still together). I think that if I can make the effort with the flowers/other gifts every once in a while, I should be good to go.

It's really scary, because already after such a short time, I'm pretty sure I love her. I'm quite sure that I loved my ex girlfriend, and this is the same feeling. But I suppose that with my current girlfriend, we had a fair bit of time to get to know each other before dating, so that helps...

Anyways! Thank you all for your input! It's very much appreciated!

If anyone has anything else to add, or say with regards to what I've just posted, please do!

 

[The Actual]

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoRedwings19 You could tell her she's the sennheiser Orpheus's of girlfriends.....aw come on

I use that one all the time.

You should try it too; you’ll be surprised by its affectivity.

 

[fr4c]

something from Tiffany & Co. always adds to the excitement.

 

[GoRedwings19]

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Actual I use that one all the time. You should try it too; you’ll be surprised by its affectivity.

No, no you misunderstand I have the sennheiser orpheus as a girlfriend....

only joking I could never afford it. I probably wouldn't like it either

 

[earache]

you could say "here, you listen with the 325's and i'll use the 60's". That's guaranteed to get her for life!

Dude, you've got a bad case of possibly trying so hard that nothing is gonna work out. Hey if it's meant to be, then it's meant to be! Pretty deep I know,....

good luck