[Uncle Erik]

Stop dwelling and ruminating on problems. For one, ruminating has never actually solved a problem. Second, no one has ever become happier by dwelling on failures.

We all screw up and fail. Not a big deal if you fail a class. Just accept it and plan what you're going to do about it. Then go do something you enjoy - exercise, read, eat, listen to music, whatever. If you find yourself dwelling on something, distract yourself. Maybe get a pet - playing with the cat takes my mind off things. Get involved with a group, charity or activity.

And get sober. Like ruminating, mind-altering chemicals never make anything better. They only make you more miserable. Always.

If you feel like hurting yourself, talk to anyone you can find first. Call friends and family, post here, just talk to anyone. Most people care more than you think and will drop everything to help out. Don't assume they won't.

Mostly, get busy and stop yourself from dwelling on problems. You can do both. Once you have plenty to do and stop worrying yourself into the ground you'll be happier. Life passes by, but don't worry about that. It's the same for everyone. It'll make me miserable to think about the time gone by, so I don't. I'm busy with work, family, DIY projects, the cute girl in accounting, and planning a vacation in May. Why should I waste time dwelling on the past?

 

[redshifter]

Just remember depression screws up your perspective on life. Friends, work, family, all seem like sh!t, but they only thing that's changed is your perspective.

Don't make any big decisions while you are like this: you will regret it.

 

[mark_h]

Drugs (non-prescribed) really wont help, they may alleviate the depression temporarily but they will only exacerbate your depression in the long run. This is the only advice I feel in a position to give. I’m truly sorry you feel so low.

 

[Fatal]

Thanks guys, I'm feeling a little better. I understand that committing suicide is a selfish act, but sometimes the pain is near unbearable and is difficult to remove such thoughts. I have to remind myself that there are people in this world that are much worse off than I am and don't have the opportunities in life that I do. Yet, they still continue living life by the day regardless of how difficult it may be. For me to have all these opportunities right in front of me, throwing my life away is not yet an option. I have to grab on to these opportunities while I still can, or it will all be for naught. In the meantime, I’ll do what I can to salvage whatever is left, and make the best of it.

 

[redshifter]

Remember what you're experiencing now isn't forever. Take a wait and see stance, and see a psychiatrist. They specialize in getting you on a treatment that will work for you. I went through half a dozen different meds before finding one that works.

A Psychiatrist isn't a General Practice doctor they specialize in your issue.

Also look into bright light therapy it really works if you do it right.

 

[texashorn91]

I am very sorry to hear about the situation you are in. I used to be a real downer when my grades dropped, and I felt like whatever I did couldn't help. Honestly, I just didn't have my priorities straight. I would just tell myself that I was doing all that I could, even though I wasn't. The problem was, after a certain amount of time in this state I started believing what I was telling myself: I just couldn't do anything about it, and I had no control over my life. Not believing in myself is the biggest mistake I made. Thinking about your failures won't help at all. Like someone else said, it has never solved anything. It will only make you feel worse.

My best suggestion is finding something you are very passionate about and devote some time into it every day. For me, it was exercising. Whether it's working out, running, baseball, basketball, or any kind of physical activity. I don't know if you are an active person or not, and neither is it any of my business, but I think that for anyone getting out and being active is the best way to relieve stress and get in a better mood. Sitting around eating and watching TV always has made me feel bad, and unfortunately we all do it way too often. Getting out and running won't give you the instant satisfaction of food or TV, but afterwards and the rest of the day you will feel relieved! There's nothing like coming in from a long run sweating buckets and sitting down on the porch and draining an ice cold water.

In a way, if you aren't an active person and you really do something like getting in better shape it will show you your potential and you will realize what you can do for yourself.

As for the grades aspect, just try your best and hopefully it will get better. Just stick it out. Talk to your professors, they really like it when a student comes in outside of class for guidance. Most professors really care about their students if they get the chance to. They love to give advice.

At my school, there is a place you can go to sign up for tutoring, and they will assign a student to help you. It was free for me. I hope there are many programs at your school for academic help, as in most schools there are.

I just hope you realize you still have an amazing opportunity to make a wonderful life for yourself, and you still have a lot of life in you! Don't dwell on what you have done wrong, and learn to look for things to be grateful for. I hope this helps! I'll be praying for ya buddy!

Craig Koenig

 

[gmoffatt]

You're gonna get lots of advice here, but just remember, this is an internet forum about headphones. You should probably talk to a doctor if you haven't already.

There's depression in my family (father, sister, brother). My sister made great progress by working out and getting lots of exercise, in concert with professional help. She looks great, and I think that's gone a long way in improving her self esteem.

It's something to think about -- if you feel like you can't control a lot in your life, why not focus on something you can control, your physical fitness, and work on that. I know it's easy to say, and you probably don't feel like hitting the gym, but I think it's important to do something to make a change.

Definitely talk to your doctor, though, because it's a complex condition with physiological and emotional components that requires a lot more than just a "different perspective" on life.

Anyways, good luck to you. I sincerely hope you feel better soon, because while I haven't experienced the feelings you're having, I've been quite close to a lot of it and I'm aware of how hopeless it can feel.

Edit: on the 'trying different medications' thing, it seems as though there's a lot of trial and error in finding the right medication at the right dose. It's an inexact science in an extremely sensitive environment, unfortunately.

 

[22906]

I agree with Jon L. You need to stay on medicine consistently. Effexor (venlafaxine) + Wellbutrin (bupropion) stack for 6 months made a very big difference in my life. Ask your doctor to write you these medicines.

 

[Akathriel]

Quote:

Originally Posted by m3_arun /img/forum/go_quote.gif Ask your doctor to write you these medicines.

How about you let the doctor prescribe drugs of his/her choice, if he/she so feels?

I've honestly had poor success with medicines and therapy, and I am perturbed by how many suggestions to take this behavior-altering drug or that from those who have no kind of medical expertise. This is not directed at you or even specifically this thread but something I've just seen on head-fi a lot. Medication is a ****ing bandaid. It can help make putting the peaces back together easier but its not a permanent solution. And hes already consulted a doctor about his problems. Don't worry about school, if you have to take another year it really isnt the end of the world.

The real way to make progress is a lifestyle change. IMHO, the advice about pursuing your passions is really important. Other than that, the two most important things are to force yourself to socialize and exercise:
Even if you're grossly nonathletic like myself, exercise reinforces self esteem and stimulates the release of endorphins. Using a lightbox in the morning has similar effects as well.

I understand the ****ty friends, I've been there. Really push yourself to socialize with a new group of people. Pursue a romance. Having a love interest can be incredibly therapeutic.

Lastly just call up someone who loves you and talk to them, whether it be a friend, sibling, cousin, parent, whatever.

 

[redshifter]

Just because your antidepressant worked for you doesn't mean it will work for the OP

 

[Happy Camper]

It's those damn Senns. Get rid of them and get something else. The veil has taken over.

I too have bouts of depression. When I start getting down on everything, I make a point of going through the Children's Hospital cancer ward. These kids don't have a chance in life. They will be dead before they ever get an opportunity to date or see a seahorse on a coral. But they don't think of those things. They live in the moment. When you find something of interest to them, they soak in everything you have to say about the topic. A young boy had bone cancer. Chemo and drugs were only delaying the final outcome. He was sitting in front of a fish tank and watching some clownfish playing in an anemone, totally fascinated. I asked him if he had been diving before. Of course he hadn't. I described some of my experiences and some of the life I saw on the reefs. He was so interested and asked all kinds of questions. When I left him, he was not thinking of his situation. Instead, he was like a kid, daydreaming about what it must be like to dive. There are stories like that all over the floor. When I leave, I feel so fortunate.

While your at it, swing by a NICU and look at the children fighting for their lives. All are there through no fault of their own. Most are from drug addicted mothers that gave them an addiction. They are fighting for life because of their mother's selfish desires.

If you have your health and the ability to bring happiness to someone else, try it. A few good deeds and you will start feeling better about your situation.

The drugs are a band aid. You control your life. What are YOU going to do about it?

Worth a shot.

 

[uzziah]

OP: i hear ya, i really do; i've dealt with severe illness, divorce, depression for years now; i can't even promise you that things will get better, but i think they will

best advice i could give is to get off the internet and seek out your family and friends, just talk honestly to them; even reconnect with folks you've lost touch with if need be; i know i've gone through times where i literally had no friends around


just know that you're not alone in feeling like life has lost all meaning; i've been there, HELL, i AM there.

sending vibes of brotherly love your way, seek out your passions

 

[arnesto]

Most friends I had in school were preoccupied with their own lives and liked to hang out with me. But after I left school, I never saw most of my friends ever again. Primarily because I didn't have any true bonds with my friends and they were relationships out of convenience.

The point is, I wouldn't rely on my friends. Hopefully you are close to your parents and if you are. I'm sure they care for you.

If things don't work out for you at school, that is not the worst thing that can happen to you. People tend to make something big out of something. When it really isn't. For example, one of my co-workers got laid off from a company he has been working for the past 10 years. He was unemployed for 2 months and then found a job that he likes better. When you have to go through adjustments like this, as long as you don't feel overwhelmed and keep trying, eventually you will land back on your feet.

Without going into too much detail, someone I am very close to went through a period of depression. Life was difficult for me and this person, but over time. In this case, I think it was about 5 years. Maybe this person's brain chemistry changed, or maybe this person learned how to deal with their condition better. But life is better now. It just took time.
I know this really isn't a short term solution, but there is hope that things may change for the better. You mentioned you were doing drugs, be careful not to damage your body or your brain, when things do get better, you don't want to be regretting self destructive things that you did to yourself now.

 

[Fatal]

Quote:

Originally Posted by arnesto /img/forum/go_quote.gif If things don't work out for you at school, that is not the worst thing that can happen to you. People tend to make something big out of something. When it really isn't.

True, but it's rather disheartening when they're basically telling me to step up next quarter or we'll kick you out.

It's difficult for me to find something I'm passionate about in this state of mind. Everything I used to enjoy doing now seems like a chore to me. I suppose I'll try drawing again, even though I'm not exactly great at it. Everyone, thanks for sharing your personal stories and giving suggestions on improving the situation. I really do appreciate them.

 

[Rock&Roll Ninja]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fatal /img/forum/go_quote.gif Every day, I wait for night to fall so I can just go to sleep and have some peace of mind. I’m tired of it all. I just want everything to be over and done with. All I can do now is continue riding it out, and hope for the best. However, even I will reach my breaking point eventually if things keep going on this way. That I have no doubt about. That is what I have come to fear the most.

I've been there. I think we all have at some time or another. For me personally, after school and marriage it was the realization that my wife and I will not be able to have a child of our own that lead to some pretty grim places.

We're having some success with Cymbalta®, but for myself personally, it was seeing a pro-Domme that helps the most. When life is just unbearable it becomes so psychically peaceful to put on the collar and lose yourself to somebody else's control for a few hours. When the game is over everything just feels "right", all your problems just seem far away. Its good to be able to take a vacation from the self at times (which sounds like what you're trying to find with recreational narcotics).

After your semester finals, if you need to take a little time away from school I don't think anyone is going to think badly of you. You've been in school constantly since you were 6, maybe you just need to "get out there" and experience some of the "real world" for a time. Take a vacation, hitchhike cross country, walk the Inca trail, backpack through Europe, work a year with the Peace Corps, etc etc etc.