I have to say that I *do* understand the "subjectivists - I simply don't agree with them.
The last time I heard, the term "high fidelity" meant something like "an accurate rendition of the original". This means that, at least if you're claiming to want high fidelity sound, there is indeed a *right* and the goal is to get as close to it as possible. (Now, if you just happen to *like* the way a tube amp adds second harmonic distortion and rolls off the high end, that's fine - just don't call it high fidelity. Likewise, if you want to put pink glass on all your paintings because you like pink, that's fine too; but "museum glass" is still specified as *not* altering the color, and your pink happy-glass won't qualify.)
Now there is room for a tiny bit of subjectivism here - and that is in the way different people weigh different factors. I may be very sensitive to frequency response (and so systems too far off flat bother me); you may be *insensitive* to frequency response, but maybe phase errors bug you. In that case, we really both agree on what's right, but we each consider different deviations to be important and don't especially care about others. In that case, we may well choose different products in a given price range as "our best choice".
In the past, there were also several famous examples where what we were measuring failed miserably to be appropriate to what we hear. Yes, many early solid state designs "measured good and sounded bad" - and now we know why... because they had low THD (which is easy to measure) and very bad transient distortion (which was hard to measure and, frankly, nobody was even trying). This obviously does *not* mean that measurements don't correlate with how things sound; what it means is that you have to measure the correct things and, if two things "measure the same but sound different" then, clearly, you're missing an important measurement.
The very idea that "it's all up to you" is crazy. There clearly *IS* a goal, which is perfect fidelity to the original, and I think that current technology is getting close enough to it that we shouldn't get lost in the whole "it's all OK" ********.
To air another pet peeve of mine, I also have a huge problem with the "it's different so it must be better" crowd. Human hearing is very sensitive, and you really can hear very minute differences between various devices (and even cables) in a fast A-B test.... but that doesn't constitute proof that one or the other is better. So, if you listen to a $10 Monoprice cable and a $3500 frou frou one, you may well be able to hear a difference, because their electrical characteristics are slightly difference. Unfortunately, human frailty and illogic then takes over, and far too many people will *assume* that the expensive one must be better - when, in fact, it's just a small fraction of a dB *different*. I get so bored of hearing people rattling on about how "their system is so good at resolving detail that they can hear the differences that different cables make". Sorry, no! Your system is just so poorly engineered that it is sensitive to the minute differences between them (when a well designed system should be immune to those differences.)
So, yes, audio equipment *IS* just another toaster or refrigerator. It is designed to do something, and it should do it well.
It isn't magic, it isn't emotion (even though YOUR emotions may alter how YOU perceive it to sound), it is a device designed to do a job..... and, if you think about it that way, you will avoid spending tens of thousands of dollars on liter batches of Mad Dog in $1000 bottles.