[gpalmer]

Quote:

Originally Posted by usc goose Huh? Well I guess you guys did catch me at a strange period of my life.

I always enjoyed your posts...

You have always stood out to me...

 

[TWIFOSP]

It's the routine, that's doing this to you.

In your posts you keep mentioning that you can't do this, you can't do that. You cite that you're too old as the reason. Did the government pass a law around your area that says you've crossed an age threshold? Did you get an official notice in the mail?

No?

Then who made that decision? You did. I'm not trying to be harsh, I'm just trying to point out that living a life of regrets isn't the path to happiness. You already know this. So what's the solution?

There are two things that can really get a man down. Lack of passion, and monotony. When you have a great passion about something, monotony can take a back seat. It doesn't matter than you're doing the same thing over and over again because it's your passion.

It's usually very hard to realize one's passion. We aim high. It's not worth doing something if it's easy or if everyone else does it right?

Now I'm a lot younger than you are, so you have to take that into consideration. But I've felt the same feelings and I didn't want to pursue my passions because they were too hard and too long term for me to realize. My salvation came in the form of taking enjoyment of working towards my passions. I've no where even close to hitting my long term goals, but I work on them often. And it sucks. No short term reward. Sacrifice. But it makes me happy knowing one day I'll have truly achieved something I set out to do.

You are still young Mike. What you did yesterday has zero to do with what you choose to do tomorrow. It's a real sobering thought, but your life is ending one minute at a time. Every minute spent is a minute you'll never see again. It's been mentioned that your life revolves around the computer and head-fi. It's not that it really does, that's just the medium in which you've chosen to fill the empty void of being awake every day. Once upon a time I did that with video games and weed. I won't lie, it was a lot of fun for a long time. But it's so... sterile. There's no sense of achievement. That sense of accomplishment made all the difference for me. The other real difference was the social interactions I didn't even know I missed. It was only when I started hanging out with friends and people again did I realize how lonely I really was at that point in my life. We're very social creatures. Human contact is very important for our emotional stability. Sometimes it's easy to suppliment with the internet and these sterile forms of communication. I was very active in high school, and was very social. At first during this period of "social vacation" I felt relieved that I didn't have to deal with people except during work. But I swear after almost a year of waking up, going to work, going home, smoking up, playing video games, going to sleep, rinse and repeat; I don't recall any human contact outside of a handshake that entire time. But the first time I actually hugged someone after I gave that type of life up, man it felt magical. I didn't even know what I was missing. I didn't even know I had those contact needs.

I know I sound like some dumb motivational poster, but realizing these things are what put you into gear. Your posts reek of sincere regret, lonliness, and longing for something you don't have.

Identify those things, and work every day to do at least one thing to achieving something on that list. It doesn't have to be huge, just one thing.

Oh, and go watch Fight Club. If you really get the meaning in that movie, it will motivate you in strange ways.

I can't claim to have been through half the things you have been through, but I know I have a unique perspective on things. While I was figuring my life out, I thought about this very subject for months non stop. If you ever want to talk, just pm me.

 

[archosman]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TWIFOSP Oh, and go watch Fight Club. If you really get the meaning in that movie, it will motivate you in strange ways...

Dumbazz... you forgot the first rule

 

[aerius]

The grey aliens kidnapped you in your sleep and stole your mojo. You must build a time machine to go back in time to prevent the grey aliens from kidnapping you.

 

[Onix]

Quote:

Originally Posted by PinkFloyd There was a time when I could write paragraphs of stuff off the top of my head with ease, I could type in my thoughts at the speed of sound, some of it was good some of it was bad... thing is, I was confident and enthusiastic and sharp. These days I'm finding it hard to post in a "happy birthday" thread without having to think about what I should say...... it all seems like such an effort and even though I've got a lot to say there's a devil in my mind which is saying "***** it man, go to bed you're washed out, your brain is dead..... go and sleep...... go and die" I'm sure I'm not the only person in the world who has lost the taste for life and lost their appetite for Hi-Fi....... those of you who have been there and come out of it I'd love to know how you did it......... I've never been so low and so negative or so messed up....... I really don't see a way forward at the present time. I've got no appetite (to eat) no appetite (for life) all I wan't to do is sleep and when I wake up I want to go back to sleep....... this post I should probably have kept to myself but I need to know that I'm not the only person who is suffering from a lifetime of alcohol abuse / midlife crisis and if there's light at the end of the tunnel. I'm 44 years old, unmarried, no children (not that I know of) I was in a 12 year relationship with a girl 14 years my junior which ended a couple of years ago when she met "Mr. Perfect" on the internet........ before that "relationship" I discoed and partied and bedded more women than Warren Beatty could only dream about.... great times, or so I thought then...... turns out I'm a sad lonely boozer with no friends and no woman to love........ I don't even love myself these days.......... Have any of you geezers (who have been there) got any tips for seeing / realising the light at the end of the dark tunnel? Mike.

Mikey, go for a group like Neurotics Anonimous or Depressives Anonimous. All I can say it that I am in the middle of the process and you'll be amazed on how your life turns out to be if you just give it a try.

 

[ricks584]

People who use terms like "pill pushers" are already convinced there is no easy solution to their depression. To add insult to injury, these same people for some reason find something wrong with the idea of taking a pill.
It's a symptom of depression. People who are depressed have no idea what it is like to feel normal. Depressed people want to get better, but they feel that there is absolutely no hope in that happening for them. It's not until you become "undepressed" that you realize how depressed you actually were.
Many/most forms of depression are related to chemical imbalances in the brain; many of these imbalances can be corrected with the right medication. Yes Virginia, there are cures for depression. And no, they do not involve five to ten years or more of intense "psychotherapy".
Well, we all live our own lives; we have to make our own decisions. The help is out there. You can lead a horse to water...

 

[rickcr42]

Came to the thread late Mike so didn't realise you were down man.
"Been there and done that" and even the self medicating thing until I somehow managed to take a screw the world attitude one day and stopped worrying about things not in my control.
if something bothers me i leave that thing alone.if someone pisses me off i don't see them any more.they actually become transparent and dissapear from sight

something is wearing me down that is a thing i need to do ?
I step away and recharge.Reload the desire levels.
Hell even Head-fi gets on my nerves from time to time and I bounce out for a week or two to save what little sanity I have left !!!!

(debatable on the having sanity left thing.kinda feel like the Eagles song "still crazy after all these years" at times

)



Dr.Rick says take your behind out and do something you really enjoy.Preferably with someone who knows how to have a good time and is easy to laugh so they don't bring you down and/or piss you off and ruin the day.Sharing is far better than going it alone and the word "loner" comes from being alone.
Personally I bug when no one is around and I NEED people around me unless I am hammered and don't give a whit about anything.Sounds like you are kinda from the same mold on that
A good laugh is good for the soul and far better than any medicine and will set you free man.I know these things and have been there but not for many years 'cause I don't let sh't sweat me anymore.I control my environment and what I can't control I toss as not important enough to get an ulcer over

Take care bud,

Rickster

 

[dougmwpsu]

I've seen alot of really excellent advice here, but there's one thing that hasn't been mentioned that i'll bring up. Mike, maybe you should consider searching out spirituality or god or religion or whatever you'd want to call it. Maybe I'm sounding cliche', but becoming a christian has really given me a new outlook and hope for living. I wouldn't suggest it if I diddn't think there wasn't some good to be found there. I wish you the best man.
Doug

 

[sleepkyng]

the process of self-reflection (as I'm assuming you're doing) is a precarious one.

on the one hand, it allows one to attempt to discover problems and solutions, but along the way you may find it difficult not to slip into a situation of helplessness.

it's a day to day thing.

have you noticed how quickly a mood will change depending on a perspective switch?

the world it too beautiful, too large and too beyond our comprehension to shut out. If you cannot find the solution within yourself at this time, i suggest you travel... alot.

keep moving, and be courageous.

 

[12796]

that's the last thing he needs

 

[steel102]

its opiate. not opium.

 

[scrypt]

It's too early to swear off romance, Mike, and replace human partners with pets. It's just a matter of your getting back into a hard-won flow, of trying until you strike some vein of grace. However, you might want to consider dating women who are closer to you in age. Their cultural references and values will make more sense than those of markedly younger women. Yes, newly minted skin feels buoyant to the touch. But unexamined and unseasoned thinking is a perilous liability.

Don't allow yourself to become bitter toward women in general because of what happened to you with this one woman in particular. Bitterness can ferment into misogyny, which is a crippling obstacle to closeness.

==========================

Steel102: opiate is the literal word from that Karl Marx quote, but, metaphorically, opium still makes sense. At least no one used a malapropism.

Let's not discuss religion, lest well-meaning people on each side grow embroiled in a death match of misdirected good will.

 

[morphie]

Quote:

Originally Posted by scrypt Let's not discuss religion, lest well-meaning people on each side grow embroiled in a death match of misdirected good will.

Nice quote

 

[rickcr42]

Quote:

Nice quote

and clearly stated as being against the rules as a topic for discussion.

I don't care to know if or what any member chooses to worship or not worship becasue it is a personal thing and out of bounds as far as Head-fi is concerened.

you most likely meant weel but look at where this thread has already gone off topic becuase of a simple suggestion.That is exactly why we have it as a taboo subject along with political debate and any attempt at injecting these into a subject

thanks

your freindly neighborhood rickmonsterator

 

[scrypt]

I know you're trying to be decent about imposing necessary order, Rick, but please clarify something for me: Are you commenting on the direction of the thread prior to my post or just after?

The person who broke the rules first and worst in this thread was the well-meaning soul who made a "simple suggestion" (your words) that Christianity might help Mike. The second rule-breaker was the well-meaning poster who quoted Karl Marx in response.

My post was the only reminder before yours that we shouldn't be discussing religion (or Marxism, for that matter) in the first place.

Please tell me I've misunderstood. Otherwise, by singling out my post, you wouldn't merely be killing the messenger. Your warning itself would be a paraphrase of the very message you seem to be warning us against.