[kramer5150]

I was very close to my grandfather. He drove a 68 malibu with a big hole in the muffler, took me to basketball camps, and hiking excursions around lake tahoe, and week long trips to disneyland. We would have to take 2 cars, my mom would ask me to go with grandpa to sing too him and keep him company so he wouldn't fall asleep. The best thing about it was my parents would GIVE ME A BAG of CANDY!! to share with him on the road trips... A little 7 year old, HYPED up on sugar.. bouncing off the windshield to keep the old guy fom falling asleep.

I LOVED those road trips.

He bought me my first AM radio, cassette recorder, clock radio, walkie talkies, microscope... and my FIRST headphone, Koss Pro4x plus.

He owned a radio TV rapair shop in the mid-70s and knew as much about vaccuum tube electronics and circuit theory as anyone here.

When he died in 1987 he left me 3 cases of old NOS tung sol, sylvania, RCA, westinghouse, and GE tubes left over from his shop.

I use his old 12AT7 tubes in my earmax center / driver tube.

I think a big part of him still lives today in my own interest in electronics and sound reproduction.

I guess my way of dealing with his passing is to endulge myself in the electronics hobbies he introduced me to ~25 years ago.

 

[stevesurf]

Jim, I am so sorry for your loss...your uncle lives on in your hearts and he will be with you always. Sometimes, when you can't think of something, or find something, he might just be there to show you...My dad has!

 

[joneeboi]

I'm sorry that you lost your loved one, dude. It's never easy.

I personally have never encountered the loss of a close one, but as everyone knows, keeping it all inside is never helpful. Find a secluded room or an open field and cry your body dry. I don't think time heals very well. Feel your feelings because they won't go away unless you do.

 

[smeggy]

Sadly it gets us all sooner or later.
I lost my first wife in 1984 and my father in 1997 so I feel your pain and hope it gets easier on you soon.

 

[milesbeyondjazz]

I am really sorry about your loss.All of my Grandparents are long dead (on both sides of my family)my wife has lost both of her parents.And like you one of my favorite Uncles died not to long ago.As time go's by the pain will get less and less.Just remember all of the good times you had with them, and enjoy the time you have left with the ones who are still with you.Life is way to short.

 

[plainsong]

I'm sorry for your loss. Has anyone noticed the rule of three? My grandfather passed away last year, and then my brother in-law passed away just this summer. Who's the third? My grandmother is 87 but healthy as a horse, except she was married to grandad 60 years and you know how that goes. My grandpa is likewise 83 and healthy as a horse, but he always talks like the end is near. My grandmother-in-law is 98, 100% mentally there, but getting cranky and fed up with life. My father in-law hasn't bounced back from his stroke, and has gone downhill in fact since his son, the brother in-law, passed away.

So who's the third one? They're all so full of life really, it's tough to imagine yet another loss.

And you know what makes me angry? There's a database course I've failed twice because the teacher insists on strict attendence and no phones. Well, that makes attendence tough when you're helping out a wife and mother with a three-year old kid whose father has an inoperable brain tumor and the hospital is a two hour drive away, and they live 4 hours away from you. Or, you're waiting by the phone for news from another country about your grandfather with terminal cancer. You can do the homework for the class, but it makes attendence tough.

The anger part comes in because she won't let me take the course again, and it's a required course. That could be the end of my college career, since this is the only school offering this degree in English. What? Has this woman never had any tragedies in her life, or does she think I'm making this up?? I retorted in the email "Well, they're dead now, so I don't suppose they'll be taking up any precious time from your class." B!tch. How self centered can a teacher be?

 

[BlindTiger]

I'm sorry for your loss.
Sadly, this is one Team in head fi everyone will belong to sooner or later.

 

[hciman77]

I am sorry to hear of your loss. Smoking took my Mum (2003) at 65 and pretty much took my Dad at 68 (2004) - it really does get easier though with time.

 

[elrod-tom]

I'm sorry for your loss...for everyone's losses for that matter. Death is one of those things that will always be difficult to deal with.

I can understand what you're going through more than usual lately...on Friday, I attended the funeral of my sister-in-law's husband. I didn't know him very well, but I knew him well enough to know that he was a decent guy with a good heart. That much was apparent the first few minutes you knew him.

Early last week, he died while working on a new electrical substation. Something that shouldn't have been powered up apparently was, and it arced and killed him instantly. You could still see the burns on his hands in the casket.

He left behind a wife, two children - one only two months old - and an overflowing room of friends and relatives who are left to try to make sense of someone so young having left us. At one point when we were out in the lobby of the funeral home, his son walked past a picture of the two of them and burst into tears. As the father of a young son, that one hit me particularly hard.

The minister asked that we all go home today and write something down about the deceased. He said that it would not only be cathartic, but that it would provide a priceless gift to his children - especially the youngest daughter that will never know her father. I think that I'll do that tonight. Maybe that would help some of the rest of us too.

 

[jpelg]

I am deeply sorry for your loss, Will. My condolences to you and your family. As you can read, you are not alone.

 

[plainsong]

My brother-in-law always seemed to be enlightened. Like he knew the secret. He had that kind of smile, always, and was always kind and softspoken, amazing, given how he was raised. He rejected the bad lessons he learned from life, and only focused on the good. He was a wonderful father, and it's so sad to think that his daughter, at 3, will only remember bits and peices if she's lucky. She's had to learn about death awfully early. But then again I learned the same way when my grandma died when I was also 3, and it's one of the first memories I have (not actually being there of course, I mean everything that goes along with it). But still, it's far more natural for grandparents to die than it is for your father. A good bit different.

And I feel so guilty when I spend time with his partner (in Finland instead of getting married you can form legal partnerships if you'd rather do that. This works for traditional partnerships or same sex partnerships. The closest thing I can think of in the US is common law marriage and it's not really the same thing), I feel so guilty. Of the two brothers, mine lived, and we have no children. My brother in-law had fixed up his childhood home beyond all recognition with his own two hands, he was a carpenter as well as a counselor at a group home for the mentally challenged. He chose the social service instead of the required stint in the army, and it changed his life. He was assigned to helping people with special needs, and he's been doing it ever since. And to think the father still got angry when reminded that his son didn't get nominated to be an officer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by elrod-tom I'm sorry for your loss...for everyone's losses for that matter. Death is one of those things that will always be difficult to deal with. I can understand what you're going through more than usual lately...on Friday, I attended the funeral of my sister-in-law's husband. I didn't know him very well, but I knew him well enough to know that he was a decent guy with a good heart. That much was apparent the first few minutes you knew him. Early last week, he died while working on a new electrical substation. Something that shouldn't have been powered up apparently was, and it arced and killed him instantly. You could still see the burns on his hands in the casket. He left behind a wife, two children - one only two months old - and an overflowing room of friends and relatives who are left to try to make sense of someone so young having left us. At one point when we were out in the lobby of the funeral home, his son walked past a picture of the two of them and burst into tears. As the father of a young son, that one hit me particularly hard. The minister asked that we all go home today and write something down about the deceased. He said that it would not only be cathartic, but that it would provide a priceless gift to his children - especially the youngest daughter that will never know her father. I think that I'll do that tonight. Maybe that would help some of the rest of us too.

 

[will75]

Thanks for all of the kind words and support. I'm glad so many decided to share their stories as well. It's cool that even on a forum we can help each other with tough times. The wake was tonight and the funeral is tomorrow. Thanks again everyone.

Give your loved ones an extra hug or two tonight.