[KYTGuy]

Yeah, have your wife pump breast milk for night nurse duty (you) and she can sleep some. Divide the awake time as best you can - you take some load so she can sleep, and you sleep some too, at other time.

 

[Edwood]

Anyone hear of the "Towle Method of Colic Management?"

http://www.babycolic.com

Makes a lot of sense. Looks like Phoebe fits the classic stages of "pushing" right after eating. I always thought she was trying to poop in vain. And it is usually followed by screaming.

I guess she really is in pain from the gas.

-Ed

 

[Hermitt]

I second the pumping thing too. Especially for the first several months, then once the baby's digestive systems are more developed, the formulas won't be such an issue.

 

[Uncle Erik]

Hang in there, Ed. They come around and are usually pretty easy around the 6 month point. They get a little personality then, too. It's rough now, but you just have to tough it out for the time. Be thankful you have only one right now. Just imagine if there was also a 2 year old being woken up and demanding attention!

And she will get better. She'll be manageable in a few months, then she'll start walking and talking, then you'll be able to take her places and do stuff. It'll be fun... just not right now. It will be worth it.

 

[Hermitt]

Can yopu imagine those parents that have twins? triplets? quadruplets? Quintiplets?

Thank goodness we stopped after 2, I was reading yesterday that Bob Marley had 13 kids! Yikes!

 

[mrdeadfolx]

He's going to be borrowing all your gear, putting pieces of process cheese in your CD player, using your Jecklin floats for a Star Wars helmet...it'll be great.

 

[Denim]

Ed,

I hope it gets better real soon for you. I wasted money on a crib also, but our baby is generally happy and rarely creates problems. She sleeps through the night now! (4 months old)

We had a problem with gas pain for awhile, but my wife picked up some chinese oil that she puts on the baby's stomach if shes upset. It has a bit of a menthol smell and works wonders. If you want to give that a try, I'll get the name for you. It's pretty much a standard remedy in Asian countries.

If the baby keeps whining, then keep ranting on here. You've got to relieve preasure somehow. Better here than there.

 

[luckybaer]

Ed,

I know what you are going through. My wife and I have two children - one is 9 years old, the other is 9 WEEKS old - lol. Anyway, the first one was really tough to get to sleep at night. He would be asleep in one of our arms, and then as soon as he felt one of us bending over to put him in the crib, his eyes would >CLICK< open, and he'd start wailing! It was really tough, but what ended up happening was that we used a vacuum cleaner outside his room to get him to chill out. Needless to say, the hallway carpet was super-duper clean. One of us would vacuum for about 10-15 minutes, and that would do it. This was when he was pretty much sleeping through the night, so once he was "down" he was out until morning.

Our current little one is pretty good so far. However, there are times when he gets super fussy but yet won't nod off. We have found that fans - like the one over the range, and the ones in the bathroom - absolutely chill him out. So, we hold him and talk to him, and poke fun at him (what's with all this cry-cry-cry? who's this fussy baby? is this the fussy little baby?, etc.), all the while we are walking (babies like the rhythm) and in range of a fan. He passes out in about 10 minutes, and then he's out for the next 4 hours or so (still young and not on 'real' food).

Another problem: he doesn't care too much for the crib. He will sleep when he's passed out in our arms and we put him in the crib, but if he stirs in a couple of hours, he'll wake up in the crib and get all fussy. So, instead of fighting it, we do the fan thing to get him to chill out (after we're sure he isn't in soiled diapers, he isn't hungry, and he isn't sick), and we put him in this little rocking seat that has a gentle battery-powered vibration thing on it. He can sleep like a freaking rock in that thing.

The reason he doesn't dig the crib is because when he wakes up, he can't see anyone. He is fine in a car seat, little rocking/vibrating thing, etc. That's because someone is always there, so he sees mom, dad, big bro, and then feels ok to sleep.

Also, when the kids are really young (like less than 3 months and stuff), their digestive systems are totally immature. They can have a hard time digesting formula, get acid reflux, and have big time gas. They just need time to mature internally. If you can get mom's milk into them, that's the best because it is easy for them to digest, and they probably aren't allergic to it. One problem w/breast milk is that because it digests so fast, the kid is going to be hungry faster. This means feeding 2 or 3 hours instead of 3 or 4 hours with formula.

Finally, one thing we learned about with our first boy is that lactose intolerance starts young. Both my wife and I are of partial Asian heritage, so we have varying degrees of sensitivity. Our first was totally fussy and colicky and such. We talked to our pediatrician, and I asked if it could be lactose intolerance. She said that it could be, and recommened a soy-based formula (like Isomil). That switch helped a lot.

Hang in there. It gets easier to deal with, but the problems get more troublesome as they get older!

 

[Jahn]

you know what worked for us? that portacrib thing with the vibration thing. slap some D batteries on that thing and let it shake, baby! uh, literally. the hum of it and the movement really knocked the kid out. of course he wasn't a colicky one, so that must be icing on the cake for you, but about the tough love - it's way too early for that! when the kid wants something, just give it to em - until, say around 3 yrs old, hehe.

 

[luckybaer]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jahn /img/forum/go_quote.gif you know what worked for us? that portacrib thing with the vibration thing. slap some D batteries on that thing and let it shake, baby! uh, literally. the hum of it and the movement really knocked the kid out. of course he wasn't a colicky one, so that must be icing on the cake for you, but about the tough love - it's way too early for that! when the kid wants something, just give it to em - until, say around 3 yrs old, hehe.

Oh, yeah! That's the thing I was talking about! It has been a lifesaver.

Hopefully Ed can find something that helps him out!

 

[Edwood]

We've tried just about every toy and technique.

The small mini crib bedside bassinet thing with vibration, songs lights, etc.
Didn't work. Might as well have put her on a bed of needles, she just screams in there.

The motorized swinging chair, which is now known as the wailing ride.

She wants body to body contact and attention. So, I think I'm going to get one of those doggie backpack saddle things. MoMo needs to pay her fair share too.

Too bad MoMo is so small.

-Ed

 

[Jahn]

if you want to go hardcore, this was a no-miss- the BOUNCY CHAIR!

http://www.askbaby.com/baby-bouncy-chairs.htm

after getting shook asleep we put him in the pack and play vibrating one for actual sleepin. nice 1-2 punch!

 

[Hermitt]

Heh... I remember when my oldest was a baby, i used to drive a '96 nova that had a '65 corvette 327 in it with headers and turbo mufflers. A quick ride around town in the back seat would always put them out

 

[iGig]

Hello Edwood, I’m sorry you’re still struggling with little Phoebe. I totally understand what you’re going through, my baby wasn’t colicky, but he was a “high need” baby. He wanted to be held all day and all night and he refused to sleep in his crib.
Something that helped me a lot was making a schedule of his activities (sleep, feed, cry, poop) I wrote down everything he did until I started to see a pattern, and I worked my schedule around it. Knowing when he would cry seemed better if I was expecting it.
I also used a sling and the Ultimate Baby Wrap to get things done around the house while holding him. Other things we used were the vibrating bouncer, a swing, car rides, sitting on the dryer machine… we did whatever he needed until he was 6 months old and it was the right thing to do in our case because now he’s a happy and independent little boy.

It sounds like the most important thing right now is for your wife to get some solid sleep, she needs to feel rested, regain her good mood and tackle the heavy task of caring for baby so you can get your work done.

In a couple of months Phoebe will be sleeping more and more every night and you’ll be able to sleep better. Some parents let their babies “cry it out” after they’re 6 months old, but that’s something that I wasn’t able to handle.
Some info here: Ferber method

If your wife wants to stop breastfeeding she shouldn’t feel guilty or obligated, she needs to do whatever is right for her and baby, whatever that maybe. But one thing she should know is that formula feeding is NOT easier than breast feeding.
Making bottles around the clock is not easy, especially with a screaming baby at 3 am, and feeling half asleep. Even if you prepare them earlier, one of you still needs to get up and warm it up. Then every single morning you’ll be greeted by a sink full of dirty bottles that need to be washed and sterilized. It doesn’t sound like too much, until you’re washing 4 pieces of a bottle X feedings in a day X every single day of the week for months to come. Trust me, rolling on one’s side and sticking a boob in baby’s mouth is way easier in the long run.
If you’re considering pumping milk, make sure her milk supply is fully established. So many times I read at the baby forums that pumping too soon lowers milk supply.

la leche league.org

Once you’re ready to move to formula, I recommend you try Avent or Dr. Brown bottles.
I used Avent because they’re easier to find and have fewer parts, but any time I heard of colicky babies, those were the two brands that helped the most.
Are you using gas drops or tablets? Our boy wasn’t gassy while breastfeeding, but once we switched to formula we had to use the drops and they helped a lot.
Also, while breastfeeding I had to eliminate certain foods from my diet because it affected baby. The most bothersome seemed to be chocolate, cabbage and garlic, here’s a list of foods to avoid along with some good recommendations:

Dr. Sears

Happiest baby on the Block

Best of luck to you and your wife. I promise you it gets easier after the third month when they sleep a little better. Hang in there, remember she’s a little miracle, a little piece of you and your wife and it’s not her fault if she feels uncomfortable.

 

[Edwood]

Quote:

Originally Posted by iGig /img/forum/go_quote.gif I also used a sling and the Ultimate Baby Wrap to get things done around the house while holding him. Other things we used were the vibrating bouncer, a swing, car rides, sitting on the dryer machine… we did whatever he needed until he was 6 months old and it was the right thing to do in our case because now he’s a happy and independent little boy.

Yeah, the Baby Bjorn is a major PITA to get the baby into. And is not very comfortable to wear, at least for me.

The Ultimate Baby Wrap looks better. I bought a Hot Sling and it is too simple that it does not inspire confidence to wear. Plus, it's more or less a cloth stitched end to end, and folded in half. Even I could sew together the same thing in no time.

Bouncing, swinging chairs, vibrating bassinet, none of those work. I've tried them all.


Quote:

It sounds like the most important thing right now is for your wife to get some solid sleep, she needs to feel rested, regain her good mood and tackle the heavy task of caring for baby so you can get your work done.

On a breast feeding schedule, there is no such thing as a full nights sleep. Even if she pumps, she'll have to get up and pump or feed again, because she'll be so engorged.


Quote:

If your wife wants to stop breastfeeding she shouldn’t feel guilty or obligated, she needs to do whatever is right for her and baby, whatever that maybe. But one thing she should know is that formula feeding is NOT easier than breast feeding. Making bottles around the clock is not easy, especially with a screaming baby at 3 am, and feeling half asleep. Even if you prepare them earlier, one of you still needs to get up and warm it up. Then every single morning you’ll be greeted by a sink full of dirty bottles that need to be washed and sterilized. It doesn’t sound like too much, until you’re washing 4 pieces of a bottle X feedings in a day X every single day of the week for months to come. Trust me, rolling on one’s side and sticking a boob in baby’s mouth is way easier in the long run. If you’re considering pumping milk, make sure her milk supply is fully established. So many times I read at the baby forums that pumping too soon lowers milk supply. la leche league.org

In this case, stopping breast feeding would not be about the baby at all, but purely about the mother. Feeding is very painful for her, but Phoebe is getting plenty of milk and growing well. She gained over 1 lb since our last pediatrician visit less than 3 weeks ago. She weighs 8lbs 13oz now.

Cleaning and prepping bottles would be my job, so you can see why my wife would have no problems with the "hassles" of bottle feeding. I already clean and prep the breast pump parts.


Quote:

Once you’re ready to move to formula, I recommend you try Avent or Dr. Brown bottles. I used Avent because they’re easier to find and have fewer parts, but any time I heard of colicky babies, those were the two brands that helped the most.

I have bought and tried at least half a dozen different bottle types. Dr. Browns is my least favorite. It is a total PITA to clean, since it has so many parts, and it doesn't work at all, in fact it caused more gas when we used it.

Advent was much better, but it caused nipple confusion since the nipples are shaped weird and very stiff.

Turned out that the very old design of the Playtex drop ins with latex nipple works best. Wasteful, but convenient with disposable liners.


Quote:

Are you using gas drops or tablets? Our boy wasn’t gassy while breastfeeding, but once we switched to formula we had to use the drops and they helped a lot. Also, while breastfeeding I had to eliminate certain foods from my diet because it affected baby. The most bothersome seemed to be chocolate, cabbage and garlic, here’s a list of foods to avoid along with some good recommendations:

Haven't used the gas drops yet. I highly doubt they will work with Phoebe, as she seems immune to everything.

A diet change might work, but I doubt that as well. Nonstop burping for at least half an hour after each feeding and frequent burpings during feeding is seeming to help a lot.


Quote:

Best of luck to you and your wife. I promise you it gets easier after the third month when they sleep a little better. Hang in there, remember she’s a little miracle, a little piece of you and your wife and it’s not her fault if she feels uncomfortable.

It's barely been one month. It's going to be a looooooong three months.

-Ed