[Meloncoly]

I've been in a relationship just once, and it was a long 3 year run but it didn't end too well. I would like to be in a relationship again though. For me, I don't like the single life...

 

[EnOYiN]

Quote:

Originally Posted by scott_d_m /img/forum/go_quote.gif Well said. I feel exactly the same, however recently I've met a girl who is making rethink my single ways. Now I just need to find out how she'll accept this crazy hobby I've gotten myself into.

Well, that choice is quite an easy one isn't it? Headphones or a wife (life).

 

[MD1032]

I'm currently single and haven't even been in a relationship, but now that I'm a Junior in college, it's one of those things that I sometimes think about.

The problem is, I've seen too many bad relationships. My one really good friend is in a relationship right now that he thinks makes him happy, but I personally disapprove of largely because his girlfriend is an extremely low-quality character. Lots of my friends get in relationships and break up constantly. I'm always afraid, not only of the awkwardness surrounding a relationship, but of the potential outcomes of that relationship. I've seen many college relationships but few that I would consider to be healthy.

 

[compuryan]

I have a girlfriend right now and we have a great time being together. I've been in some crappy relationships before, and seen some too so I know the difference. I also know a lot of people who posted said they'll never get involved with someone again. You just have to really take your time getting to know people. People tend to get lured in by a lovely false-image which people put on when they first meet someone. You have to get to know them for what they are really like day-to-day.

 

[Ub3rMario]

MD1032...maybe you just have bad luck with the ladies? Having never been in a relationship, any advice you give is like giving advice about headphones you never have heard haha. This is in no way an attacking comment btw...just saying you should test it out. Might like it!

 

[Uncle Erik]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MD1032 /img/forum/go_quote.gif The problem is, I've seen too many bad relationships.

You have no idea. I did divorces for a couple of years up in Oregon; it was miserable. The rest of the practice was criminal, bankruptcy and municipal. Criminal could be miserable but occasionally gave you something to feel good about. Municipal was businesslike and bankruptcy rocked. Really - it's one time you can tell clients exactly what's going to happen, when it's going to happen, charge a flat rate, and then everyone came out OK afterwards. But the divorces were always hell. 99% of the time one party doesn't want to get divorced and does everything possible to slow it down, derail it, make a mess, and anything else to cause trouble.

Then, even if there's agreement on child custody, real property, support (the big stuff), there's always a pissing match over some piece of personal property. I got into heavy litigation over a piece of chrome trim that goes around a truck's bed. Another time there was a slugfest over a side of beef (!) that the husband got every year as a perk from his employer. There was never a divorce that went well, cost what it was supposed to cost or had an ending anyone was entirely happy with.

I know this all sounds overly negative, but keep in mind that there are consequences. I haven't been divorced, but I've been in the trenches and have gotten several friends through divorces, too.

I'm not anti-marriage; I would do it. But not without a prenup and not until I've known her a few years. I won't casually get married. Divorce is expensive, but more emotionally poisonous than anything. The nature of the courts can drag it out for months or years, even.

 

[ericj]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Uncle Erik /img/forum/go_quote.gif You have no idea. I did divorces for a couple of years up in Oregon; it was miserable. The rest of the practice was criminal, bankruptcy and municipal. Criminal could be miserable but occasionally gave you something to feel good about. Municipal was businesslike and bankruptcy rocked. Really - it's one time you can tell clients exactly what's going to happen, when it's going to happen, charge a flat rate, and then everyone came out OK afterwards. But the divorces were always hell. 99% of the time one party doesn't want to get divorced and does everything possible to slow it down, derail it, make a mess, and anything else to cause trouble.

I have a friend going through a divorce right now. Actually, three friends in three separate divorces. But one in particular.

He chased the wrong woman for half his life. About 8 years ago he finally caught her.

There should have been ample evidence at the time that he was getting into something he'd regret, but the heart wants what it wants, right?

She has issues. She has a whole subscription. She's got the back catalog and she's got the special binders that you can order from the 800 number. Commemorative plates and spoons, too.

He's never laid a hand on her or even raised his voice in her presence. He's given her everything she's ever asked him for. She's convinced that he's a worthless terrible man.

So she insisted that he divorce himself from her.

He resisted. She continued to insist.

She would, for example, call him at work and insist that he come home so she can yell at him some more about how worthless he is and how he needs to divorce her.

And he'd actually go home and let her harass him for an hour or so.

Ultimately, in the presence of credible witnesses, she gave him the ultimatum that if he didn't divorce her by a particular date, she would make sure that he would lose his house and everything that he owns and never see his children again.

So he got the best divorce attorney for embattled fathers in the state and drew up an agreement to offer her: he would cover about half ($27,000) of her personal debt and pay her down payment on another house, and in return she would go quietly, not remove him from his house, and agree to shared custody of the children.

She refused to agree to it. So he filed.

She made all the standard accusations of him being a bad father. He produced 17 unique signed affidavits from friends and neighbors detailing the many ways in which he is an exemplary father, and she could not substantiate any of her claims.

She claimed that he had supported her so she deserves alimony. He proved that not only had her income consistently matched or exceeded his, that she had evaded federal and state income taxes for the entire duration of their marriage.

The judge dressed her down in court for 20 minutes and told him that the only thing he'd done wrong was offer her too much money to leave, and that he wouldn't allow a settlement larger than $20k.

And then my friend did the unthinkable.

He withdrew his petition for divorce.

Word is that his wife has never been more furious in her life.

She screamed and ranted for two weeks and then filed for divorce herself.

It's not going well for her.

 

[amphead]

I'm married to a wonderful woman. When you do find someone that you feel compatible with it is probably partly luck. I would never talk any one else into being married or single. There is just too much variation out there to say what would be best for someone else, and it's a journey that can only be determined by your own personality.

 

[Wodgy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ericj /img/forum/go_quote.gif The judge dressed her down in court for 20 minutes and told him that the only thing he'd done wrong was offer her too much money to leave, and that he wouldn't allow a settlement larger than $20k. And then my friend did the unthinkable. He withdrew his petition for divorce. Word is that his wife has never been more furious in her life. She screamed and ranted for two weeks and then filed for divorce herself. It's not going well for her.

I don't get it. Why did he withdraw the petition for divorce? Especially if it had reached the trial stage and he knew he had a sympathetic judge and would get a favorable result? What if he gets an unsympathetic trial judge next time around?

 

[Lazarus Short]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ericj /img/forum/go_quote.gif There should have been ample evidence at the time that he was getting into something he'd regret, but the heart wants what it wants, right?

"There are two great tragedies in life. One is not getting your heart's desire. The other is getting it." Oscar Wilde

 

[dj_mocok]

Girlfriend? Why do you think they invented the internet?

 

[compuryan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by dj_mocok /img/forum/go_quote.gif Girlfriend? Why do you think they invented the internet?

the internet? you've heard the song right?

 

[shigzeo]

my wife is out to south korea for business: i don't like being 'single' now. it is way too hard. but maybe i am a very lucky man... i hope so. ill pinch my pennies: as long as i don't have to be like this again ==> what a sap i am!

 

[8xOverMsOctober]

I like being in a relationship. I've always liked companionship. Because of that I've stayed in some relationships in the past that I should have gotten out of a lot sooner than I did.

Now I'm happily married going on 3 1/2 years. I've been with my wife for 8 1/2 years total. We just clicked right from the start. We see eye-to-eye on pretty much everything, and because of that we still haven't had a "real" argument yet.

It helps to find a sane, smart woman that has common sense also (though even then they still can't drive worth a damn

)

 

[AuroraProject]

Single guy here, got divorced in 2007, haven't dated since. While I enjoy the single life there is definitely something missing. I miss the companionship, having someone to talk to about everything, the soft touch of a woman. I just met someone a few days ago, and we hit it off right away, so maybe it'll lead somewhere.