Deciding where I want to take my life?

[Uncle Erik]

Don't kill yourself worrying about it. I didn't know what I wanted to do straight out of school, either. Very few people do. And you know what? It doesn't matter so much. All jobs/careers have their good and bad points and I think you could be happy with any number of them. The "right" one is not so important as sticking with school, finishing, and doing a good job at whatever you've chosen. The grass may seem greener with something else, but believe me, you have to put up with crap everywhere you go and with anything you do.

If you're curious about what happened to me, I wandered through undergrad, got a degree in English Lit. Law school sounded like a good idea, so I went. While there, I discovered that I liked tax and estate planning, so I took a bunch of classes in them. Got out, didn't like the criminal/family/bankruptcy job I had (it was all I could find), so I went back and got a degree in accounting, which I enjoyed a lot more than I expected. And on the way there, I ended up partially in property management due to the family. Right now, I'm doing that and some corporate stuff. I took the day job because I needed it, and ended up liking the firm a lot.

Was it what I expected? Hell no. Is it livable? Hell yes and very. I'm happy, and I'm still in my early 30s. Life is going to twist and turn lots more, and I'll deal with it as best I can. You should, too. Set some general goals for yourself (getting through school, etc.) and stick with them. Whatever comes up is whatever comes up. If you look at it the right way, you'll be fine. Oh, and grades are overrated. Never once has anyone asked me what my GPA was. Interestingly, I got my best grades in accounting. And I thought I hated numbers!

 

[Yikes]

Quote:

Deciding where I want to take my life?

From the title I thought that the original poster was suicidal and wanted help deciding where to do the deed.

 

[markl]

Food for thought.

My dad (who's ain't no spring chicken) always says he still doesn't know what he wants to be when he grows up. I totally understand what he means, I feel the same way, and expect I'll feel that way my whole life, too.

Most people change *careers* (not just jobs) several times during their lives. This is due as much by the reality of modern work (zero job security, companies being bought/sold/spun-off/outsourced/re-orged/bankrupted every other month) as it is to personal choice. Don't think that you'll be doing what you're doing out of college for the rest of your life because you won't.

This means its good to have some kind of generalized degree, someone recommended an MBA, and that's a good choice. It gives you some flexibility.

I think it's ridiculous that in this culture we expect 15 year olds to know what they want to be for the rest of their life. How do you make that decision? Based on what? You haven't *done* anything yet, so how do you know what you like to do?

You never know how you're going to like any job until you actually do it. You can spend years in higher education, go to law school, pass the Bar exam, start practicing law only to discover-- oops! You hate it. Now what?


Also, IMHO, we have this weird concept of work here in the USA. There's this myth/belief that work is supposed to be somehow *rewarding* or *fulfilling*, and all you need do is follow your bliss into the work force. Fact is, most people HATE their jobs with good reason. It's only the top 5% in any organization that are self-actualizing masters-of-the-universe. The rest of us doing the *real* work are at the mercy of the whims of the clowns upstairs. Best you can do is find an organization with co-workers you like, that really helps.

Chances are, you won't enjoy your work no matter what you do, I'm sorry but that's true. Unless you are a gifted artist who can write his own ticket and do as he pleases in expressing himself, owner of your own busines (likely you can only get there at the end of your life), or in top management, I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for "fulfillment" from a job.

No one ever wished they had spent more time at the office on their death beds.

 

[Oistrakh]

be a doctor

 

[Thaddy]

A mistake that most people make is that they find a job in their business, not their profession. My profession is software development, but someday in the future (when money allows), I'm hoping to make my business real estate and/or trading stocks. I enjoy my work, but I don't want to work for the rest of my life. My profession keeps me busy, but my business will make me rich.

Hopefully whatever you choose will allow you discover both your profession and business

edit: Whoa I just quoted "Rich Dad Poor Dad"

 

[Denim]

I didn't know what field I wanted when I was in high school. I didn't like school a lot at the time either. I was working pretty much full time ever since I was 15. The school was over crowded and we had split sessions. 5 hours a day, if you took every period. I usually didn't take the first or last period, so I could sleep late, or get out of school early. Anyway, you get the idea that it wasn't my favorite place.

Have you considered the military? I spent 4 years in the Air Force in Avionics. It has helped with the job search and looks good on my resume. I think the Army has 2 year programs that also provide tuition assistance for college. You can actually go through officer training before getting your 4 year degree. Reserves is another area to consider.

I got out of the AF with an electronics background. I went to college for a year, but knew it wasn't for me. I didn't have problems back then finding good jobs. I have been a field tech with a territory, basically working on my own out of my home. I was with my last company for 13 years in tech support. They sent me all over the world (at their expense) and I was able to work on a lot of new technologies.

I just moved to New York and have been looking for a new job. I finally decided on a company that looks like the right fit for me. Again, a bunch of travel, new technologies, and good growth down the road. No, Im not making $100K a year, but it's more than I have seen offered for my same skill set on Hot Jobs, Carrer Builder, etc, for positions that require a 4 year degree.

My advice is if you want to go to college, then get a general, or business management degree. But don't go so heavily in debt to accomplish it. Many companies offer tuition assistance. You can work full time and go to school at night, let the company pay for it and still collect a paycheck.

Everybody is different and no one path fits everyone. A truly gifted individual can basically get a free ride through college and make tons of money. Most people believe college is required to survive in life. There are lots of folks without degrees that are not trailer trash and making good livings. While college wasn't right for me, my kids look to be the college type and I'll be able to help them quite a bit with their costs.

I doubt I was any help, but I wanted to give you a perspective from someone that didn't know what to do after high school.

 

[aluren]

i think going to college will give you the revelation that you need. telling you to do what you want to do is not gonna help. once you're in college, there's alot of general education courses where you'll be exposed to all kinds of subjects: bio, chemistry, math, english, anthropology, sociology, economics, etc... i'd say in your first year, take a course on every subject and diversify your learning. i was a bio major when i applied to college but changed it to business because of one econ class. hopefully that will do the same for you.

then in your second year and you've made up your mind to be, let's say, in business. now you got a bunch of business courses to take where you'll get your feet wet on accounting, marketing, econ, management, information systems, etc. where now you can decide if you want to be an accountant, economist, etc... get the idea?

 

[vagarach]

I agree with aluren's post, learning more about different subjects in a university type environment may show you where your interests lie. In most cases, if you try early enough, you should be able to swap majors quite painlessly, if you play your cards right. Inter-faculty changes can happen with a single form and a signature, wheres cross-faculty ones may not be so easy. Of course, there is a danger that you don't find your calling, and you end up in a field you don't like or maybe even go back to 1st year and try a different subject!

To end, I'll say that I know plenty of very smart people who said, "oh yeah, engineering [or insert other field here] seems fun" and went into that. You say you enjoy business law, but are balking at the high expense. If you really want to go on to higher education in law, then you value an education above $100k. If not, then your only other option is to *not* go into a field with such high costs of education, or else go into the trades.

I say you can't immediately discount professions such as law, or medicine, simply due to their high cost. Sit down and try and plan at a deeper level. Find out what interest rates you'll be paying, how much you could be making once out of school, and how long it will take to repay the student loans.

 

[Leporello]

Quote:

Originally Posted by markl Chances are, you won't enjoy your work no matter what you do, I'm sorry but that's true. Unless you are a gifted artist who can write his own ticket and do as he pleases in expressing himself, owner of your own busines (likely you can only get there at the end of your life), or in top management, I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for "fulfillment" from a job. No one ever wished they had spent more time at the office on their death beds.

LOL, so true.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Uncle Erik Life is going to twist and turn lots more, and I'll deal with it as best I can. You should, too. Set some general goals for yourself (getting through school, etc.) and stick with them. Whatever comes up is whatever comes up.

Agreed.


Regards,

L.

 

[NightWoundsTime]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yikes From the title I thought that the original poster was suicidal and wanted help deciding where to do the deed.

x2. I was ready for a really uncomfortable thread.

 

[plus_c]

Quote:

Originally Posted by w1ned Which major should I choose to pursue? I know this is a broad question, but if you were to be back as a high school junior about to choose where to set your goals, where would you set them? If it helps, my best subject in high school so far has been business law, but the idea of 8 more years in school and over $100k in student debts from undergrad and law school doesn't appeal to me. Thanks

That's an incredible question there. Being just out of college myself, I probably don't have the distance and perspective to really talk about this in a way that's useful to you, but I'll give it a shot anyways.

When I was a junior in high school (really hard to believe that was 6 years ago!), I was just like you and had no idea what I was going to do with the rest of my life. Now, I'm out of college, having gotten a degree in business, and do I know what I want to do with the rest of my life? The honest answer to that is an emphatic "no". Yeah, I've got this business degree, and the financial services company I work for fascinates me (in ways that are good and not-so-good), but would it have been the path that I chose under different conditions and influences? Probably not.

With that said, if I had to go back and do it again, I would have looked for colleges with strong liberal arts programs, making sure that the school also had a strong business department. In the end, this is exactly the kind of college I went to (the University of Pennsylvania). So now, you should ask yourself - do I do the best in business law because it's easy, or because it is interesting to me? Is all of the field interesting, or just the business part, or just the law part? I would encourage you to apply to colleges that are good all-around, and that will give you the freedom you need to explore the different fields of study that are out there, and find the one that's right for you.

 

[bahamaman]

I think there's been some very strong advice offered in this thread. I think the observations that are especially valid are:

1. Uncle Erik's belief that it is just naive to think you can have a plan and that the plan will work out just like you anticipated it would. The truth is that you'll have countless plans, and some will work, at least for awhile, and then circumstances will change. And then you'll need a new plan.

My first plan was to be a rock star. I played keyboards on the road and had a taste of success, but, in the end, it was apparent I wasn't good enough to make it big. So the plan changed.

Went to law school, wanting to be a trial lawyer. Did law school, did trial work, hated trial work. Had to get a new plan.

Out of the blue, got a call asking if I'd like to teach a class. And I did, and one class became two, then three. And I ended up teaching full time, 22 years ago this month. The key is that I was flexible enough to finally find meaningful work. If truth be told, it's usually that work finds you, and not the other way around.

2. markl's advice is just sooo accurate. I am maybe that one person in a hundred that actually loves his work. Even so, I cannot wait until I'm able to retire. Because, for me, work ought never be more than a vehicle to improve the quality of life one has with one's family. The day I prefer the office to my home is the day my life has officially run into the ditch.

 

[fureshi]

going into college, i thought i wanted to study business but i was so bored with business related classes after one year that i switched to engineering. it was a good move as i thoroughly enjoyed most of my classes even though i got my butt kicked in thermodynamics. what i'm doing now has a little to do with my college studies but it's still engineering and i'm still enjoying designing products and trying to plan product roadmaps.

do i think that i'll be doing this for the rest of my life? not at all. i know that this is a stepping stone for something bigger and hopefully better. the moral of the story, as many have said, is to be flexible and be willing to change. to know what you want to do with the rest of your life at the age of 15 is too much to expect. pick something that you think you'll enjoy studying but don't be disappointed if it doesn't go as you think. there are many opportunities out there, just be willing to make changes and you'll eventually find your way. if you told me that i'd be doing what i'm doing now, i wouldn't have believed it.

 

[iGig]

Quote:

Originally Posted by w1ned If it helps, my best subject in high school so far has been business law, but the idea of 8 more years in school and over $100k in student debts from undergrad and law school doesn't appeal to me. Thanks

when you say "your best subject" do you mean you like that subject a lot, or you are getting good grades and not really care about it?

Quote:

The only desire in my life is to have a comfortable future.

Think of 10, 15 and 20 years from now, can you see yourself as a business lawyer? Would you like that life? If so, then by all means, go to school and invest in your future. School loans are manageable.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Denim My advice is if you want to go to college, then get a general, or business management degree. But don't go so heavily in debt to accomplish it. Many companies offer tuition assistance. You can work full time and go to school at night, let the company pay for it and still collect a paycheck.

I like this a lot, get the college education as young as posible and get it over with, even if you work in an unrelated field you'll still learn a lot of things and it opens up another level of jobs that require a degree. *it's a little ridiculous but that's the way it is sometimes

Whatever you do, DON'T take a year off, your chances of going back to school reduce dramatically. The sooner you start, the sooner you finish.

 

[Alu]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yikes From the title I thought that the original poster was suicidal and wanted help deciding where to do the deed.

Thank God I'm not the only one who thought like that.