Ashlee Simpson
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BRBJackson

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Yes, I know, big shock... she's garbage wrapped in skin, but I was caught off-guard just how bad a 'performer' this person is. Up until now, I've been mercifully spared from having to witness her (as Mozart put it) Awful Majesty. That all changed last night, as I was giving the High Definition TV upstairs a workout watching the MuchMusic Video Awards. Bad content+great picture=mindless entertainment, at least until SHE came on the screen. I felt like Jimmy Stewart in Vertigo, falling and spinning helplessly, unable to operate the remote and remove her blight from my gaze.

so I watched

stunned

and bled through my ears

In the spirit of sharing my pain, please click on her video 'highlight' from the link below. Actually, they did manage to cull the absolute best portion of her off-key screaming, so be thankful for small favors...

http://www.muchmusic.com/events/mmva05/videos/

WARNING: If you can watch this without going blind, deaf or gay, youre gawddamned John Wayne.

Ashlee, I speak for a nation of music lovers: PLEASE go back to lip synching...
 
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Jon L

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Quote:

Originally Posted by BRBJackson
Yes, I know, big shock... she's garbage wrapped in skin, but I was caught off-guard just how bad a 'performer' this person is. Up until now, I've been mercifully spared from having to witness her (as Mozart put it) Awful Majesty. That all changed last night, as I was giving the High Definition TV upstairs a workout watching the MuchMusic Video Awards. Bad content+great picture=mindless entertainment, at least until SHE came on the screen. I felt like Jimmy Stewart in Vertigo, falling and spinning helplessly, unable to operate the remote and remove her blight from my gaze.

so I watched

stunned

and bled through my ears

In the spirit of sharing my pain, please click on her video 'highlight' from the link below. Actually, they did manage to cull the absolute best portion of her off-key screaming, so be thankful for small favors...

http://www.muchmusic.com/events/mmva05/videos/

WARNING: If you can watch this without going blind, deaf or gay, youre gawddamned John Wayne.

Ashlee, I speak for a nation of music lovers: PLEASE go back to lip synching...



I saw that show also. MUCH music award show was pathetic in general. Come on, Carmen Electra was a major guest..

Ashlee has managed to get even worse than her famous Superbowl performance. I thought she was getting singing lessons. Oh, well, at least Jessica Simpson is looking GOOD on Dukes of Hazard trailers.
 
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PSmith08

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She is a poor copy of her sister, whose musical skills are execrable and her acting is indescribable. Her parents have become, like Emperor Palpatine, ravaged by the promise of money--delicious money--and have turned to turning out hit-factory children. Of course, they monkeyed with the formula by allowing Simpson the Younger to be less than toothsome to the boyfriends of the girls buying the discs. They failed. She cannot sing, and when she tries without the aid of off-stage records, she sounds like a bobcat singing Zevon tunes in a Waring blender. Simply horrible.

The best description for the Simpson sisters is that they are as awful as the correct pronounciation of the word that cannot be pronounced.

That having been said, Jessica's aesthetic qualities are not entirely loathsome to our countenance. Not at all.
 
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Oliver :)

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So. You made it. You made me go to the iTMS in order to find out who this Ashlee Simpson person is. It seems low TV-consume pays off. I chose the 30sec. "La La" demo. As a student of the American Literature & Culture I have to declare that the way this person pronounces the words "aeroplane" and "boomerang" pays hommage to about every white trash bubblegum cliche I am aware of. Respect. Maybe. Maybe all this DRM the MI wants to shove down our throats is not so bad after all if it cuts down on the free circulation of this offensive material. If stuff like this remains "Undiscovered" we might all be "Better Off", but of course that's "Nothing New".
 
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Bob Abouey

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If you get a chance, try to get a hold of her performance at the Orange Bowl last year... the most unimaginable caterwauling I have ever heard. If anyone is interested, I'll try to get a link to it.

I’m in no way a fan of Jessica’s music, either. But Ashlee is like the Casey Affleck of pop music... zero talent, noteworthy family name.

At least Jessica is fun to look at… what’s Ashlee’s redeeming quality?
 
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PSmith08

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Bob Abouey
If you get a chance, try to get a hold of her performance at the Orange Bowl last year... the most unimaginable caterwauling I have ever heard. If anyone is interested, I'll try to get a link to it.

I’m in no way a fan of Jessica’s music, either. But Ashlee is like the Casey Affleck of pop music... zero talent, noteworthy family name.

At least Jessica is fun to look at… what’s Ashlee’s redeeming quality?



She gives us cause to think of her sister, which is a not-unappealing thought.
 
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Bob Abouey

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Quote:

Originally Posted by PSmith08
She gives us cause to think of her sister, which is a not-unappealing thought.


True... very true.
 
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MD1032

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That's pretty pathetic. I can find something in there that attempts to be music, but in the end, it's one band playing in two different keys with a lady screaming on top.
 
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Thaddy

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Quote:

Originally Posted by MD1032
That's pretty pathetic. I can find something in there that attempts to be music, but in the end, it's one band playing in two different keys with a lady screaming on top.


What's even more pathetic is the size of the crowd, and it seems that all of them are happy to be there
 
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terrymx

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those fans should put down the devil horn. its an insult to metal.
 
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3DCadman

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Dang! Now, I need to clean the barf off my keyboard after seeing that.


I guess I was warned.
 
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saturnine

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This just proves that people can be made to enjoy anything, based on how it is advertised.

 
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Jahn

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on the other hand, the Black Eyed Peas' clip there was nice - perfect pop for the masses.
 
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PSmith08

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I can never really "get" that group. What they're selling isn't quite clear, and I guess that's the problem.

However, Simpson is selling awful sound from beyond madness and time. I can only hope she has sympathy for her victims--er, fans.
 
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james__bean

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Ahahahaha...

Wow, I was expecting bad, but that was just awful. I'm surprised my ears aren't bleeding at this point. Its like she doesn't know what the difference is between singing and just screaming the lyrics. I don't think singing lessons are going to help her, since she obviously doesn't have any talent. Who knows, maybe if she takes singing lessons she'll realize that what she's doing is not actually singing. Hell if we're extremely lucky, maybe she'll learn what singing is, and then realize that she doesn't have the ability to pull it off and quit. Its probably more likely to happen then the masses realizing that the music on TRL is crap.
 
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