[Joe Bloggs]

And I'm too embarrassed to post it.

Aw what the hell

I've been in the same society with her (Catholic Society--KATSO), know a few things about her, but was too shy / didn't have a chance to talk with her much. We are in different departments, go to different parts of the campus and rarely meet.

I've known her since I was a freshman.

She's probably 'single' (I knew of her breakup, early this year I think, with her last boyfriend, whom I also knew).

I suppose I should really be calling her, but I think I would just screw up completely. Email instead.

As you can see below, I'm really desperate.

---------------------------
Email title: Merry Christmas Vivian!

Dear Vivian,

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Are you celebrating just with family and friends or have you found a boyfriend by now?

If you're still by yourself, may I be so bold as to suggest you to treat yourself to a New Year present and go out with me? o^.^o

You would be treating me to a great New Year present too o^.^o

---
2 choices for the next paragraph...

Original: I know this is sudden for you, but for me this is not sudden at all--I knew what love at first sight was when I met you at the KATSO I-day counter in my freshman year. Unfortunately, our lives were too far apart for us to know each other much, although I sure did try!

Revised: I know this is sudden for you, but for me this is not sudden at all--I'd been wanting to ask for this and more ever since I met you at the KATSO I-day counter in my freshman year, but thought that I would have my chance later when I have gotten to know you better. Unfortunately, our lives grew further apart instead of closer together until now, when I realize that if I don't ask for a meet now, I'll never see you again. ...

----

In truth I don't think this would go anywhere, what with us both busy with our last year of study, and probably heading different ways to God-knows-where after graduation--but even so, I would be a much happier man for having gone out with you just once!

Not having seen you for such a long time, I thought I could put you from my mind. Not so. Did you wonder why I followed your group so far when the KATSO graduates were taking photos? I just wanted to take a picture with you, just once, before I left HKU. Not having brought a camera, and not being brave enough to ask someone whose job of the day was to take photos of all the graduates, out of the blue, to *have* a photo, I left after an hour of mindless trailing, and was near tears for the rest of the day.

Pity an old man and fulfil his dying wish... or something. o*.*o""

Yours very sincerely,
Joseph Yeung

 

[Old Pa]

Good idea, Joe. Go for it! Only other consideration (based in my ignorance of your previous communications with this woman) is whether you might want to do this in person or over the phone. Sometimes the "personal touch" is expected. If you send the e-mail, maybe just sign with your first name (your e-mail delivery will include enough other info). One final suggestion? You might want to shorten your note and take out the L-word. It may be a little intimidating if you have not had a date yet and may show your expectations are greater than hers might be in a date. Otherwise, GOOD LUCK!

 

[Joe Bloggs]

Quote:

One final suggestion? You might want to shorten your note and take out the L-word. It may be a little intimidating if you have not had a date yet and may show your expectations are greater than hers might be in a date.

I dunno... you can obviously see that the strategy / style here is to lay down all my cards and beg for a date--does taking out that one word change the letter that much? How would I rephrase that part anyway?

Quote:

Otherwise, GOOD LUCK!

Thanks

It's already Xmas here... I suppose I should be sending this now? Ooohhhhh I'm not ready *.*"""

 

[Duncan]

Quote:

Originally posted by Joe Bloggs I dunno... you can obviously see that the strategy / style here is to lay down all my cards and beg for a date--does taking out that one word change the letter that much? How would I rephrase that part anyway?

I think that the L word probably would be too heavy for a first encounter...

as to rephrasing... hmm... something that still says the L word but somewhat more descretely...

Quote:

From the first moment I saw you, I knew there was something special about you

Even something as timid as that... it doesn't say WHAT is special (which could lead to further correspondence to found out what IS...) and it isn't completely 'in ya face'

Just a thought...

Merry Xmas

Duncan

 

[john_jcb]

I would not beg her for a date. Be the man and call her up on the phone and ask. What is the worse thing that can happen? There is a good chance she will be pleased by the call and all will go well from there. Letters are too impersonal until you know someone, IMO

Good Luck

 

[Joe Bloggs]

Hmm, how about this:

I know this is sudden for you, but for me this is not sudden at all--I'd been wanting to ask for this and more ever since I met you at the I-day counter in my freshman year, but thought that I would have my chance later when I have gotten to know you better. Unfortunately, our lives grew further apart instead of closer together until now, when I realize that if I don't ask for a meet now, I'll never see you again. ...

-----
As for the phone vs email issue, how about this: I send her the email, phone her 2 days later, ask if she has seen the email...

- if she has seen the email, pick up where the letter left off
- if she hasn't seen the email, say merry xmas or something -.-" then say something like 'hey I've sent you an email. I think you'd be very happy after reading it'

 

[Duncan]

The revision gets my thumbs up Joe...

John_JCB does have a point though.... bear it in mind

 

[Old Pa]

Revision is great, but think about calling her on the phone or going to see her. Think about making the date a daytime number for coffee or lunch. Start slow and work up. Incrementalism can be your friend!

 

[john_jcb]

Another thought, I don't really know either of you but is there a point in being so melodramatic about asking her out? It isn't like you are going off to war and may never see her again.

 

[Joe Bloggs]

What do you think of the letter + phone strategy?

Quote:

It isn't like you are going off to war and may never see her again.

It sometimes feels that way to me, since I get to see her so little...

 

[Duncan]

Quote:

Originally posted by Joe Bloggs What do you think of the letter + phone strategy?

Joe... Are you a shy person??

All in all, I think the phone would be a much better choice overall... then you could hear the tone in her voice... if its a smily tone then you know you'd better get your best clothes out ready... or if its a down tone... then just chat about normal everyday stuff ~ then it doesn't have to end badly... just as a normal friendly conversation...

Wish her a happy new year, and ask her if she's up to anything good... then, just go from there

 

[john_jcb]

I would either call her or meet with a common friend. Old Pa is right meet in a now threatening casual place and take it easy. No need to sweep her off her feet at the first meeting. Just be yourself and if it is meant to be it will all work out.

 

[Joe Bloggs]

Quote:

Originally posted by Duncan Joe... Are you a shy person??

Definitely. If I just phoned her, unless I had a prewritten script, I think I would end up talking about the weather no matter what her tone.

 

[Wodgy]

Don't email! No no no! Call or ask for a date in person. The odds are completely tilted against you if you send an email.

 

[Duncan]

Quote:

Originally posted by Joe Bloggs Definitely. If I just phoned her, unless I had a prewritten script, I think I would end up talking about the weather no matter what her tone.

Strange... although each to their own...

I myself am really shy... REALLY shy, as in blushing when a really pretty girl walks past and stuff... yet I can talk to anyone on the phone for hours about ANYTHING... keeping both them, and myself entertained... without any fear of feeling, or looking an idiot...

Have you actually tried on the phone before Joe, or are you basing this on your face-to-face experiences??