[laxx]

I was spanked while I was growing up. Then after a while, when I knew I did something wrong and was going to get spanked, I used to run away (not run away from home, just run away from my parents while inside the home, ie under the table, behind the couch, etc). Then I got the belt to the bottom of my feet. That taught me not to run anymore. It basically continued until I grew kind of big (6'1" 200lb asian) where they would hit and I woudl just take it and keep doing what I was doing (I'd ply Starcraft while my mom hit me, lol). When they realized it stopped hurting, they stopped hitting.

I'm a firm believer of spanking. It didn't work that well on me, but I would do some things differently than my parents, and hopefully it'll be more successful.

 

[iGig]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kramer5150 /img/forum/go_quote.gif Spanking certainly did not teach me to be violent, scar me for life or cause any kind of rift between my parents and I. In every case I fully deserved the spanking, and AM GLAD I GOT SPANKED. It taught me (well) to be honest. ... I have a the best relationship ever with my parents.

I agree with kramer 100%. My parents spanked me (or threatened to spank me) and I have the best relationship with them. My mom smacked me with a spatula more than once for saying/doing bad things and I deserved it.

I love her with all my heart and she's like my best friend.

I feel very sorry for those who were abused and are bitter towards their parents. No child should ever go through that.

Quote:

(I'd ply Starcraft while my mom hit me, lol).

sorry for laughing, but that was funny.

 

[Samgotit]

Quote:

Originally Posted by iGig /img/forum/go_quote.gif I agree with kramer 100%. My parents spanked me (or threatened to spank me) and I have the best relationship with them. My mom smacked me with a spatula more than once for saying/doing bad things and I deserved it.

Me too. I turned out just fine.

 

[The Monkey]

I was spanked as a child a handful of times. I do not know its relative efficacy because I have no parallel childhood in which I was not spanked a handful of times.

That said, my wife and I have discussed at length and agreed that we will never spank our child. He is now 7 months old and will quickly enter the stage at which he will be getting into things he shouldn't. Soon thereafter he will be openly defiant in certain ways. These are normal developmental occurrences. Our plan is to try to positivley reinforce his good behavior as much as possible, and refocus/redirect the unwanted behavior. This is all good in theory of course, because I'm sure our little guy will know exactly what to do to get under our skin. But I am committed to never spanking him. As of now, the only way I could see it happening is if he were about to run out into the middle of the street or put his hand in an electical socket. In such an instance, I could see my own fear and desire to extinguish THAT behavior at THAT moment lead to a quick (but light) swat. It is something I would like to avoid, though.

 

[Yen]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Samgotit /img/forum/go_quote.gif Me too. I turned out just fine.

Well, most of the children are not spanked and they turned just fine... at least here in Finland.

But not a child/person said they suffer of not being spanked, many of the spanked ones do.

I do understand most of the ppl who accept spanking, because there is a line between violence/hitting and a little spank. However, because there are risks, moral issues and alternatives to spanking I dont accept it.

I think donovansmith is right that many of the today's kids need firm discipline. Yes, discipline and boundaries, but not necessarily spank. You can make your point in so many other ways without spanking. Ok, little smack is easy and effective, but I think you have failed as a parent if you have to resort to spanking. Somewhere in the path of raising your child you have went wrong if you have to take that smack. EDIT: No pun intended, want to stress that I am not meaning the word "you" as any1 of those who choose to spank. I mean as a parent in general.

The Finnish society (from a pro-spanking Vietnamese point of view) has taught me that spanking is definately a no no. There are no proof that spanking necessary, but there are a whole country as proof that spanking can be avoided.

 

[plainsong]

Isn't not even legal here in Finland? My husband is under the impression that it is, but then again we're both of the same mind that - hit a kid, go to jail. Simple.

May all those who hit, beat, or spank, one day get dished back what they were given when their kids are smart enough to hit back.

Best choice I ever made.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yen /img/forum/go_quote.gif Well, most of the children are not spanked and they turned just fine... at least here in Finland. But not a child/person said they suffer of not being spanked, many of the spanked ones do. I do understand most of the ppl who accept spanking, because there is a line between violence/hitting and a little spank. However, because there are risks, moral issues and alternatives to spanking I dont accept it. I think donovansmith is right that many of the today's kids need firm discipline. Yes, discipline and boundaries, but not necessarily spank. You can make your point in so many other ways without spanking. Ok, little smack is easy and effective, but I think you have failed as a parent if you have to resort to spanking. Somewhere in the path of raising your child you have went wrong if you have to take that smack. EDIT: No pun intended, want to stress that I am not meaning the word "you" as any1 of those who choose to spank. I mean as a parent in general. The Finnish society (from a pro-spanking Vietnamese point of view) has taught me that spanking is definately a no no. There are no proof that spanking necessary, but there are a whole country as proof that spanking can be avoided.

 

[laxx]

You're case is to the extreme Plainsong. You have to understand that we are discussing moderate spanking, and only when needed.

 

[elrod-tom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by laxx /img/forum/go_quote.gif You're case is to the extreme Plainsong. You have to understand that we are discussing moderate spanking, and only when needed.

Yes we are...but that, it seems, is NOT what Plainsong wants to discuss.

Which is to say, I think that folks who spank very rarely and only as a last resort in very unusual cirucmstances (which, it seems, is a good share of the folks here) deserve a little better than being thrown in with the folks in her example. It strikes me as intentionally stirring the pot.

 

[slwiser]

I am in much agreement with what you have said...

Quote:

Originally Posted by elrod-tom /img/forum/go_quote.gif Yes we are...but that, it seems, is NOT what Plainsong wants to discuss. Which is to say, I think that folks who spank very rarely and only as a last resort in very unusual cirucmstances (which, it seems, is a good share of the folks here) deserve a little better than being thrown in with the folks in her example. It strikes me as intentionally stirring the pot.

 

[tyrion]

Quote:

Originally Posted by iGig /img/forum/go_quote.gif Have you ever seen a determined toddler who won't let go of something no matter how many times you say no?

Yes, we refer to him as our son (he has out grown that stage, despite not being spanked).

 

[kramer5150]

Quote:

Originally Posted by elrod-tom /img/forum/go_quote.gif Yes we are...but that, it seems, is NOT what Plainsong wants to discuss. Which is to say, I think that folks who spank very rarely and only as a last resort in very unusual cirucmstances (which, it seems, is a good share of the folks here) deserve a little better than being thrown in with the folks in her example. It strikes me as intentionally stirring the pot.

THANK YOU!!! People who are against spanking ALWAYS fail to understand the difference between hitting/abusing and spanking. They ALWAYS want to stereotypically blanket label parents who spank correctly as child abusers and felons.

Which they are not.

There is a disciplinary chain of escalation that must consistently precede spanking, in order for it to be effective.

There is a communicative interaction that MUST be made. To teach the infant the rules, reasons why he is being spanked.

Yes there are toddlers who dont require it. A simple frown, lecture or time out is adequate and the ideal method in all cases.

 

[elrod-tom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kramer5150 /img/forum/go_quote.gif THANK YOU!!! People who are against spanking ALWAYS fail to understand the difference between hitting/abusing and spanking.

Actually, I think MOST folks who don't spank can understand and appreciate the difference between the rare swat on the behind and abuse. I was just making the point that I thought this particular poster might be acting with some intent.

 

[Jahn]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kramer5150 /img/forum/go_quote.gif Yes there are toddlers who dont require it. A simple frown, lecture or time out is adequate and the ideal method in all cases.

yeps. but when the kiddo gets older, knows it's wrong, keeps doing it, and has that evil little grin...i will reconsider my heretofore benevolent approach.

 

[laxx]

That's why you all should do what I plan to do with my son.

When he's around 4 or so, I'm going to drop him off a cliff in his little basket/blankie. He's going to have to tough it out and do whatever he needs to survive, and if/when he makes it home, he can carry on my bloodline. If he doesn't make it, he's not deserving to be in my family.

But if I have a daughter... I guess I'll be trying again.

There's no love and compassion in my family. It's honor and strength. I hope my first son makes it.

 

[markl]

I think we need a third poll, namely: "Is it OK for other people to spank your children when you aren't available to deliver the blow?" Such as teachers, principals, clergy, etc. I can already anticipate the result ("hell no"). But what's the difference who hits the kid when he needs to be "disciplined"? A hit is a hit, a smack is a smack regardless of who's delievering it. It's either wrong all the time in all circumstances, or just fine, so which is it? Why does the thouight of someone *else* hitting your child outrage you, but not your own blows to the same kid?