[stevesurf]

Would you spank your kids? I mean spank them, not hurt them. If you get spanked regularly, vote here too, please.

I wont make this a public poll or Ahnoold weell be coming afta you.

 

[Blueiz]

I only remember being spanked twice by my dad... Once for playing with matches in my dark closet and setting my clothes on fire.... none of this "now, now little boy... don't set your closet on fire".... Second time, I don't remember the offence, but I do remember stuffing a dinner plate down my backside figuring that would protect me from the soon to come spanking.... dad wasn't fooled.... For minor offences, I was reasoned with and if that didn't work, I spent time sitting in my room alone... FOREVER!

So, bottom line for me is you have to make an appropriate impression depending upon the offence.

 

[FalconP]

I believe in firm discipline. You can avoid spanking (or at least reserve it as the last resort) if you are always clear and consistent in your teaching.

 

[eyeteeth]

Don't.

The expression of disappointment on my face was strong punishment.

Besides, I wouldn't hit a dog.

 

[stewtheking]

There's a BIG difference between hitting and spanking. Hitting I strongly disagree with. Hitting implies that it's an immediate physical reaction, like a punch. A spanking takes place after the event, but the child is told at the time that they have earned a spanking (by child I mean what I remember happening to me). The real punishment of a spanking is waiting for it, the actual spank itself shouldn't be that painful in and of itself, but the waiting for it, hammering home the message that you've done wrong is the real punishment. And yes, it worked on my and my brother and we've grown up to be relatively balanced individuals (head-fi excluded).

 

[Yen]

Well, I was raised traditionally in vietnam and I was quite wild during my childhood. Hence, I have experienced the belt, various sticks and slaps. I am not angry or hate nor feel anything bad about my parents. They raised me like every1 else that time...

As to my kids when the time due, I will never spank my kids. I think it is bad parenting, if you cant handle it any other way...

 

[MdRex]

I'd say yes (then again, I was raised in an asian family, almost everyone has been spanked in their whole life) but just don't land them in ICU.

And NO, spanking doesn't include flinging them against the wall...

 

[mrarroyo]

Yes, and being raised in the Caribbean where it is customary I do not see any problem with controlled spanking if truly deserved (last resort).

 

[Genetic]

Yesssss!!!!!! Show vulnerable individuals that violence is an acceptable way of resolving problems (and in a more global picture that justice is well served by corporal punishment)....

Amicalement

 

[Wmcmanus]

Quote:

Originally Posted by FalconP /img/forum/go_quote.gif I believe in firm discipline. You can avoid spanking (or at least reserve it as the last resort) if you are always clear and consistent in your teaching.

I think that sums it up for me. I voted yes, simply because of the last resort issue. The goal would be to never have to spank a child, but never may well prove to be a hard rule to follow. Never hit a child, but preserve the last resort option of spanking in case your clear and consistent teaching, no matter how patiently practiced, still fails to get the message across.

 

[eyeteeth]

Quote:

Originally Posted by eyeteeth /img/forum/go_quote.gif Don't. Besides, I wouldn't hit a dog.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Genetic /img/forum/go_quote.gif Yesssss!!!!!! Show vulnerable individuals that violence is an acceptable way of resolving problems

Damn Canadians and their gentle ways!

Yep, when reason fails, resort to violence.
It's a fine example to set that they can use all their lives.

It use to be OK to physically discipline persons of color, employees and wives. Someday the wee ones will gain equal rights.

 

[KYTGuy]

Defining spanking as carefully administered swats that cause surprise and pain, but do no harm, yes, spanking has a place in upbringing kids in our families.

Here's how:

Between birth and about 18 months, never...too young

Between 18 months and about four, it works well...

After thirteen it is useless.

Between eighteen months and four years, logic doesn't reach them, timeouts mean only that "if I wait long enough, I get to go back to what I was doing if I want to." Very few parents can maintain the vigilance necessary to keep a determined young'un from doing what he/she is set on doing with the "time-out" method. Kids train their Moms to let up or give in, because Mom wants/has to do other things, and the kid can/will focus on what he/she wants to do. When home, Dads can focus and do battle with the kids' wills, but few do. Mostly, kids become aware that crying loudly (esp. in Public settings) inflicts torture on Mom, and they train her to ignore repeats of the bad activity, and/or force/train Mom to give them second/third/twentieth/three hundred seventy-third tries at the forbidden course of action. It is during this period that "forbidden course=pain" works best. Kids of this age cannot mentally connect happy parents with increased freedom, or stern voice with "bad things are gonna happen later"

After age ten to about thirteen, the stern "talking to" was the worst.

Somewhere about age thirteen, nothing reaches past the mental armor, and in my case, I could easily take more physical pain than they wanted to dish out. Then, the worst was restriction to home/no allowance/no friends over.

After I started to drive (age fifteeen), take the keys, and you have my complete attention - (did you really want that?) - the mental/verbal fighting could go for days and weeks. I just started to stay gone till late in the day, and leaving early.

 

[RYCeT]

IMHO it's all depend on each individual and how worse the action is. KYTguy has a good explanation.

 

[GlendaleViper]

I was spanked if I was bad, though, like a few have mentioned, it was always a last resort if I just didn't pay any attention and kept being a brat.

My mom would smack me most of the time (always on the bum), but if I was really bad, I would be threatened with my Dad. He never hit me, but his spanking were... more effective.

I will not rule out spanking when I have children, but I will apply my parent's tactics to the whole idea. One rule is absolutely paramount in my mind, however:

NEVER, EVER in public.

I've seen kids get smacked in public and you can see the humiliation in their faces at any age. When humiliation comes into play, you're doing real damage, IMO.

 

[Tyll Hertsens]

I'm with a lot of the comment here: it's usefull under VERY limited circumstances. The playing with fire thing, for example. Or if your kid is beating up other kids.

I've raised 6 kids and could count on my hands and feet the number of times I've done it. If you think it's more often than that, you probably have anger/violence problems. If your mad enough to spank, then you're spanking for the wrong reasons---and as mentioned, you're really not spanking but hitting.

I think the whole corporal punishment thing is a trap (I'll add the whole yelling and fighting with words thing in here, too---that's just another type of violence. Maybe not as obvious, but probably more insidious and damaging.) If you start thinking of violence as part of the solution, then you tend to slide into it, and as soon as you do you're just creating the impression that violence is a normal operating proceedure for life...and it's not, or shouldn't be. Take it off the table as an option, if it's needed, you'll know it. And over time you'll develop richer relations with your kids and kids that grow up healthier.

And again, I think the whole yelling thing is just as bad, maybe worse.