[iGig]

Quote:

Originally Posted by tyrion /img/forum/go_quote.gif Yes, we refer to him as our son (he has out grown that stage, despite not being spanked).

He sounds lovely.

 

[elrod-tom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by markl /img/forum/go_quote.gif I think we need a third poll, namely: "Is it OK for other people to spank your children when you aren't available to deliver the blow?" Such as teachers, principals, clergy, etc. I can already anticipate the result ("hell no"). But what's the difference who hits the kid when he needs to be "disciplined"? A hit is a hit, a smack is a smack regardless of who's delievering it. It's either wrong all the time in all circumstances, or just fine, so which is it? Why does the thouight of someone *else* hitting your child outrage you, but your own blows to the same kid?

There are all sorts of things that I don't cede authority to with regard to the rearing of my children. I'm the parent, and it's my job to discipline my child. I don't cede the authority to make decisions about how to discipline my child to other parties. In my view, it's not appropriate for an educator or clergy to assume the role of parent. If my child is not behaving in school, for example, then remove him from the classroom. He will have to deal with the consequences of his behavior when he gets home...and there WILL be consequences.

BTW - In my case, the notion of spanking is as a very last resort, and only when a child has completely lost control (e.g. the last time I swatted my son - the second time in his life, and I feel confident it's likely the last time - he was biting me so hard that it was drawing blood). One reason I'd not cede that authority to someone else is that I don't want someone who has different views about physically punishing my child to have carte blanche to do what they think is OK. As I've said, it's happened twice to each kid, and it's been a single swat each time. It's my decision to make whether behavior does or does not reach that threshhold.

 

[elrod-tom]

LAST WARNING!!

One more dumbassed inflamatory comment and I'm locking the thread. If the party in question is a repeat offender, I'll be handing out official warnings.

 

[markl]

Maybe you should spank them.

I keed, I keed...

 

[Yen]

Quote:

Originally Posted by plainsong /img/forum/go_quote.gif Isn't not even legal here in Finland? My husband is under the impression that it is, but then again we're both of the same mind that - hit a kid, go to jail. Simple. May all those who hit, beat, or spank, one day get dished back what they were given when their kids are smart enough to hit back. Best choice I ever made.

No it is not legal, even a little spank. I think an act of violence (little spank or forceful kick) in anycase isnt allowed, against a pet, a wild animal or a human being. It is a different issue, what kind of / how severe actions are that they will be punishable or where is the borderline of the police case.

And of course, spanking are made at homes, but unless the child herself contacts the authorities it will stay inside those walls. No1 knows.

 

[pne]

Quote:

Originally Posted by plainsong /img/forum/go_quote.gif Isn't not even legal here in Finland? My husband is under the impression that it is, but then again we're both of the same mind that - hit a kid, go to jail. Simple. May all those who hit, beat, or spank, one day get dished back what they were given when their kids are smart enough to hit back. Best choice I ever made.

unfortunately for a lot of kids out there it isnt as simple as hit back. I was spanked a lot as a kid, sometimes with not so nice things such as wire coat hangers. When I was old enough to understand, around 10-12, I told my mother that I was going to sue my dad if he hit me one more time, and this was a really bad decision on my part. Instead of getting the point across, my father found out and accused my mother of planting these rebellious ideas in my head. He is way too traditional and disconnected with western culture to even consider that children have human rights. He's one of those firm believers that think children are property, and what you do to them behind closed doors is your business. If you don't like the house rules you can get out, even if you're a minor and unable to support yourself.


Now that I'm older and he knows I will hit back, and am bigger and stronger than him, he simply has swapped the abuse over to my mother instead. It may seem awfully easy to tell kids not to take this from their parents, but things are not always black and white with hitting children or any other type of domestic abuse. The sad thing is most of the time you can't get the law involved because of the situation. Whats going to happen after social services come take the parents away? Whose going to take care of the kids?

 

[micaela]

As an educator I would never want to spank under any conditions. If a child's behavior becomes so disruptive that he would need spanked, then I say call parents & send him home with THEM to take care of. It isn't my responsibility to deal with extreme disrespectful or disruptive behavior --- that is the parents' job & should be handed over to them.

...... Unfortunately, sometimes getting parents to come get them from school when you need them is easier said than done. When this happens, you can pretty much guess why the kid doesn't behave. Sadly I have had to take kids to a hospital for broken bones or stitches b/c we couldn't get a parent to come get them.

 

[Jahn]

Quote:

Originally Posted by micaela /img/forum/go_quote.gif As an educator I would never want to spank under any conditions. If a child's behavior becomes so disruptive that he would need spanked, then I say call parents & send him home with THEM to take care of. It isn't my responsibility to deal with extreme disrespectful or disruptive behavior --- that is the parents' job & should be handed over to them. ...... Unfortunately, sometimes getting parents to come get them from school when you need them is easier said than done. When this happens, you can pretty much guess why the kid doesn't behave. Sadly I have had to take kids to a hospital for broken bones or stitches b/c we couldn't get a parent to come get them.

Bingo. QFT.

 

[Jeff E]

A legislator is proposing a minimum age for legal spanking in California, even by parents. here

I'll bet this generates some heat.

 

[F1GTR]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeff E /img/forum/go_quote.gif A legislator is proposing a minimum age for legal spanking in California, even by parents. here I'll bet this generates some heat.

Actually, it's what generated the thread in the first place.

The date of that article may have been yesterday, but the news is a few days old.

 

[elrod-tom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by markl /img/forum/go_quote.gif Maybe you should spank them. I keed, I keed...

Hmmm...I wonder, would that work?

 

[MASantos]

I have voted yes. My father spanked me when I was younger. It was usually a last resort thing only when I did something very wrong( like cutting my older sister's air while she was sleeping

)

I agree that the effect of spanking is not the phisical action itself but being told that you'll get one and waiting for it.

 

[450]

Quote:

Originally Posted by pne /img/forum/go_quote.gif unfortunately for a lot of kids out there it isnt as simple as hit back. I was spanked a lot as a kid, sometimes with not so nice things such as wire coat hangers. When I was old enough to understand, around 10-12, I told my mother that I was going to sue my dad if he hit me one more time, and this was a really bad decision on my part. Instead of getting the point across, my father found out and accused my mother of planting these rebellious ideas in my head. He is way too traditional and disconnected with western culture to even consider that children have human rights. He's one of those firm believers that think children are property, and what you do to them behind closed doors is your business. If you don't like the house rules you can get out, even if you're a minor and unable to support yourself. Now that I'm older and he knows I will hit back, and am bigger and stronger than him, he simply has swapped the abuse over to my mother instead. It may seem awfully easy to tell kids not to take this from their parents, but things are not always black and white with hitting children or any other type of domestic abuse. The sad thing is most of the time you can't get the law involved because of the situation. Whats going to happen after social services come take the parents away? Whose going to take care of the kids?

My dad is the *exact* same way. He claims the reason I *rebel* is because its my mom who taught me.

Sadly, because my parents have ramped up the anger and yelling I usually have to find refuge in the bathroom because my bedroom doesnt have a lock.
The bathroom isn't very spacious. It doesn't help when he's hitting the door like crazy telling me that I gotta leave the house and that he'll kill me. It's difficult to deal with. That was all over me being 10 minutes late to a roadtrip.

I wish I could talk to someone about these but either nobody to talk to (my school counselor wont listen even) or the peeople I want to talk to like psychologists, therapists, etc would report my parents to some agency and then my life would suck even more. I've never been to a psycologist or a therapist but I'm trying to get an appointment to get everything worked out.

IDK how this relates to this thread.

Anyway, all I know is violence definately doesn't work. All I wanna do now is run run far away.

 

[TheMarchingMule]

Jesus dude, how old are you? I'm guessing mid-to-late teens?

 

[iGig]

450: what you describe is very scary, I'm sorry you're going through such tough times. I hope you find a counselor or therapist to talk to ASAP and I really wish your situation improves soon. Best of luck to you.