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Jaben Fear...

post #1 of 204
Thread Starter 

I know this may sound very stupid but i have this weird phobia regarding males because of some bad experiences with the opposite sex in the past so when i went into Jaben today(i was so excited as i was like dreaming of this day cuz my schedule is usually packed so today was my only free day^^) and saw only like 6-7 males with the whole shop quiet and all, i freaked and ran as fast as i could out of there so it was like one foot in then before you can blink i was out of there...

 

please, please help me, i really want to try out the earphones there but with my heart thundering away in my chest that's kind of hard to do... i really need to get over that strange phobia...(probably why i'm in a girls' school...)

 

-sad-

post #2 of 204

Sounds like a nightmare. 

 

Whats Jaben?

 

Maybe it would help to imagine them men as little babies?  We're all those at heart, after all, and some of us are not that much more advanced. I still cry all night and poo myself at random intervals.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by AlyssaBelle View Post

I know this may sound very stupid but i have this weird phobia regarding males because of some bad experiences with the opposite sex in the past so when i went into Jaben today(i was so excited as i was like dreaming of this day cuz my schedule is usually packed so today was my only free day^^) and saw only like 6-7 males with the whole shop quiet and all, i freaked and ran as fast as i could out of there so it was like one foot in then before you can blink i was out of there...

 

please, please help me, i really want to try out the earphones there but with my heart thundering away in my chest that's kind of hard to do... i really need to get over that strange phobia...(probably why i'm in a girls' school...)

 

-sad-


Edited by Bennyboy71 - 7/7/10 at 6:34am
post #3 of 204

Ha coming straight from http://www.head-fi.org/forum/thread/500820/women-here-at-head-fi-please-show-yourself to this was quite a surprise.

Shame you have a phobia of men, when anyone mentions "bad experiences with the opposite sex in the past" I always cringe and decide not to ask.

 

How do you deal with your phobia in day to day life? Surely you must be able to deal with men in day to say situations, even if it is limited.

post #4 of 204

Be strong. Men can't hurt you if you're strong. And neither can any one else. 

post #5 of 204

Bring a freind next time.

post #6 of 204
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlyssaBelle View Post

I know this may sound very stupid but i have this weird phobia regarding males because of some bad experiences with the opposite sex in the past so when i went into Jaben today(i was so excited as i was like dreaming of this day cuz my schedule is usually packed so today was my only free day^^) and saw only like 6-7 males with the whole shop quiet and all, i freaked and ran as fast as i could out of there so it was like one foot in then before you can blink i was out of there...

 

please, please help me, i really want to try out the earphones there but with my heart thundering away in my chest that's kind of hard to do... i really need to get over that strange phobia...(probably why i'm in a girls' school...)

 

-sad-


when I last went back in December last year, the people in Jaben (I am assuming you are in Singapore), were extremely friendly. They greeted me with a smile and even though it was my first time in that shop, the welcome I received from the person who served me felt as if I had been there before. I have to admit however, that not all of them were as welcoming, but certainly the people who greeted me welcomed me with open arms, figuratively speaking of course.

 

It's unfortunate that you had a bad experience with members of the opposite gender, but remember, it's a shop and everything is safe. Everyone there has the same hobby as you and shares the same interests. Perhaps go with someone else you know from here or even have a friend go with you to give you peace of mind.

 

You must be mighty young to still be in an all girls school, anyhow, you could even look at it as, audio equipment is primarily dominated by the male gender and you could be one of the few females who is in the hobby and really enjoys it and whats more, knows her stuff!

 

With whatever in life you face, don't face it scared, albeit I do that myself (and I have many fears to overcome), but you don't want to walk away from something regretting never doing it. This might be one of them.

 

There are a couple of other stores you could try, but out of the lot in Singapore, I have to say that the staff in Jaben are the friendliest. That's my opinion of course and to me, customer service is a big thing.

 

Alternatively, go in on a day when there are more people, when the place is buzzing, but I reckon when that happens, it will be mostly males inside as well. I can't really help much, but it's your hobby and you should know that the place is safe and the staff are friendly. If you are really scared, bring a female friend or a male friend you trust along and who knows? You might convert them into audio equipment as well.

 

Don't be sad. Always smile, always look on the bright side, it makes life that much easier sometimes.

post #7 of 204

Simple. Go Stereo instead. The shop is bright, open and located in a busy shopping mall. I often see female customers and perhaps that will make you feel more comfortable.


Edited by Randius - 7/7/10 at 6:57am
post #8 of 204

Jaben have two female staff now, I've had a good chat with them before and they are quite knowledgeable about the products. One even jokingly refers to me as the "guy with the opium box". If you see them at Jaben, know that you are in good hands.

 

Still, the guys at Jaben are a friendly lot, and very willing to share honestly about their audio hobby. It's also very hard not to like Uncle Wilson, and if you manage to catch him at the store, you'd be entertained for hours with his stories.

post #9 of 204
Thread Starter 

Erm... Jaben is a chain of shops all over South-East Asia and the one i was talking about was the one in Singapore and yes, with regards to my age i really am very young... more than 13 of course though^^

as for my bad experiences, i have had way too many that i disliked anyone standing behind me and if anyone stands behind me i walk behind them and because i am in a girls' school its ok, i can survive when i am around family or friends.... and no, nobody's going to want to go with me to Jaben... i'm the type of girl everyone just ignores and remembers only when they need to copy my homework(sigh, i'm really letting loose huh?)

 

and as to the supposedly friendly staff of Jaben, when i entered it was as if i was disturbing them... i felt bad and you know what happened... gods, i am pathetic..

post #10 of 204
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlyssaBelle View Post

Erm... Jaben is a chain of shops all over South-East Asia and the one i was talking about was the one in Singapore and yes, with regards to my age i really am very young... more than 13 of course though^^

as for my bad experiences, i have had way too many that i disliked anyone standing behind me and if anyone stands behind me i walk behind them and because i am in a girls' school its ok, i can survive when i am around family or friends.... and no, nobody's going to want to go with me to Jaben... i'm the type of girl everyone just ignores and remembers only when they need to copy my homework(sigh, i'm really letting loose huh?)

 

and as to the supposedly friendly staff of Jaben, when i entered it was as if i was disturbing them... i felt bad and you know what happened... gods, i am pathetic..


heh. don't worry about your age. I just made that comment cos' I was feeling old.

 

In terms of your experiences, don't let it cloud what you want to do in life, don't let it stop you. Take walking into Jaben as a stepping stone, or do something even smaller. Challenge yourself. There are bad people in this world, but that doesn't mean everyone is a bad person. There are good people too. I believe everyone is good, everyone is nice. It's just who they choose to be nice to, that's the difference.

 

I cannot claim in any way to know what you have or are going through because I'm not you and I haven't been through it. We've all had bad times in our lives, but the sooner we tell ourselves to move on, the sooner the sun is gonna start shining. Speak to some of your friends about this and if they really are your friends or even family members, I'm sure they'd be willing to go with you.

 

I know how you feel about being left outside of the group, but it's partially cos' you have that fear in you. The moment you step outside of your shell and try a little something different, you might find that things aren't as gloomy as it sounds. I'm an international student where I am and there are hardly any international students in the course I'm doing. No one really knows me 'cept to get notes, but it doesn't bother me. I made the choice not to be that sociable. But I know that when I try to put myself out there, I bridge that gap. Sometimes, it requires effort on our part.

 

If music is your escape, like it is mine, use it to your advantage. Know that to get to that music, to that goal, you have to take a visit to Jaben. It might be frightening to you, and partially cos of your experiences, it's instilled some fear in you, but you have to overcome that. You've taken a step joining this forum which is dominated by the male gender, and you've taken a further step to talk about your fears. Sometimes it helps to be careful what you divulge, but I think we all here, if I could say, want you to be happy and want you to experience what you want to experience and at the same time, overcome your fears.

 

Don't look down, don't have too much dissonance in your mind, we could never undo what has been in the past, but it's a new day tomorrow, it's your life and the choice is yours. Tell yourself what you want, what makes you happy and go for it.

post #11 of 204
Quote:
Originally Posted by goodvibes View Post

Bring a freind next time.


x2 

post #12 of 204

post in jaben forum! we welcome you with open arms! I think you can pretty much guess my nick there at jaben forums...


Edited by super_fied - 7/7/10 at 7:25am
post #13 of 204
Quote:
Originally Posted by super_fied View Post

post in jaben forum! we welcome you with open arms! I think you can pretty much guess my nick there at jaben forums...


I should have a look myself some day lol. I only go back once a year at the moment though :)

 

I reckon the forums there will be more active than the local one where I am lol.

post #14 of 204

x2 on bringing a friend - either that or head there during a friday night/weekends where there are more customers around to kill that awkwardness you feel when you head there alone.

post #15 of 204

Usually there will be at least one female stuff in Jaben @ Adelphi these days, or try Stereo @ Causeway Point. I don't remember seeing any female stuff in Stereo @ Plaza Singapura, but I could be wrong.

 

Be brave, remember that people in Jaben is mostly just like you, searching for our own audio salvation. Do visit the forum and chat with some of the member there.

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