[KenW]

Know how you feel but accidents happen. Not your fault. It could be worse, you could have found that your child had a life threatening illness or worse...terminal. Don't beat yourself up. Count the blessings you have.

On a related note, when my son was a toddler, he had a somewhat similar episode in that it involved a burn. My folks had come for a visit and as women commonly do, they had curling irons out. Now, I don't use them so I really had no idea how hot they really became during use. Well, to make a long story short, my son got a hold of one and was curious about the hole in the business end of the curling iron. Let me say that I know that scream VERY well. Chills the blood. Yes, he put his finger in that hole and the heat was so intense that it literally grabbed his finger....sort of like when a piece of bacon will stick to a pan that's too hot. He was burned badly. Very soon after the incident, his finger literally ballooned so that it appeared he had a huge growth on the finger. He cried for hours with the pain in spite of medication. My mother was absolutely inconsolable. Everything worked out fine. No permanent damage and no scarring. A body at that age can recover from a great deal of trauma.

It will be fine. Just give the love you feel and all will be well. Glad it wasn't more serious.

 

[KenW]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeff E not that she got burned. As others have pointed out these things happen and we titrate our caution closer to neurosis as a result. To me, the most significant point from this incident is that you felt deeply about it and even made it public. Little girls whose dads care about them are more likely to grow up to be strong, competent women. Your daughter is lucky. Now, go and look at your daughter and imagine her in the future, worrying lovingly about whether to take the car keys away from you.

So true. If the daughter doesn't get the fatherly affection from her dad and see examples of how a woman/wife is to be properly treated by a husband, she'll look in the wrong places and have a completely inaccurate picture of what "healthy" relationships are suppose to be like. I've seen far too many examples which confirm this truth. Tom's daughter is blessed indeed!!

 

[fr4c]

ah dont fret over it Tom. things like this is bound to happen one day or the other, no matter how careful and watchful you are. its all part of the parenting experience and you arent the only one who feels like crap when your child gets hurt. i'm sure your daughter will be fine, dont worry about it.

 

[Dimitris]

Dont blame yourself too much. Accidents happen when you dont expect them. If no permanent damage is done i am sure soon it will be forgotten. My sister has a mark on her body from hot water that was spilt on her by my mom's mistake. Its way lonngggg in the past and noone even remembers about it. I hope this will be the case for your family!

 

[apnk]

I agree what everybody said here, and also be glad that it was not a fatal blow or a life-death situation.

 

[blip]

Agreed... It's not your fault... no one can have their neurons blazing every moment... It happens to everyone.

I remember when I was a (i think 9 or 10 year old) child my mother and I were making ice cream and she asked me to grab the hot fudge we had been heating in the microwave. Thing was, she had put it on too long so the fudge was boiling. Not being the brightest child ever, I just grabbed the cup it was in without putting on mits or something. Predictably when I touched it, I freaked out and it poured all over my thumb giving me some pretty bad burns. She felt pretty aweful about it, but in the long run it gave me more respect for hot liquids and it ddn't really cause any long-term harm.

 

[bootman]

As a parent of two, I know exactly how you feel.
No matter how diligent we may be, kids will always seem to put themselves in peril.
This was not a case of neglect or abuse.
It is normal to think that this was your fault, the parental instinct is strong, but accidents happen and you did react quickly.
The important thing to remember is that your child is now ok.
It might be a good idea to share your feelings with her.

 

[elrod-tom]

Thanks to everyone for your well wishes. My daugher is out of bed and feeling pretty good this morning. She still hurts a bit, but she'll be OK. She's even having one of her friends over later today...though I'm sure I'll have to remind her that the doctor didn't want too much rough play.

Thanks again for all the kindness and support. It's stuff like this that makes me really appreciate this site. It really is a very unique community.

 

[MetalManCPA]

Good to see she's OK, and I went through the same blame game with my son years ago.

He was 12 or so, and on my shoulders outside. I had him up there to reach for something on the roof of a camping trailer we had at the time. He had no problem retrieving the object, but as a turned around with him still on my shoulder, I just lost my balance. As I fell, I tried really hard to somehow gently place my son on the ground which I thought I had done. Five minutes later, he started to complain about his wrist. He had blocked his fall with his hands, and the wrist was beginning to swell. We asked him if he could move it, and he said yes. But, another 15 minutes passed by and the swelling got worse, so even though we "thought" it was sprained, we went to the emergency room.

When they came out with the xrays, they said the arm was broken. My son turned white as a ghost.

Well, I always blame myself for that.

 

[Edwood]

LOL, OK.

I'm too scared to have children now.

-Ed

 

[Aman]

I may be 19 and a complete dope, but I know what you're going through as well.

My little brother is in the hospital now too - he had some sort of dangerous bacteria in his system and there are fluids in this knee - he may have arthritis if he doesn't get cured SOON. I have the strangest feeling that it was my fault, that when we were rough-horsing one day I whacked that knee, which may have caused all of this in the first place.

I don't know for sure, but I'd be plenty sad if my brother couldn't get his full ride to Harvard because he had to quit fencing

Only time will tell, I suppose.

 

[kramer5150]

Oh man... I feel for you... thats the lowest of low feelings. I was chasing my 2.5 year old boy down the hall and he planted his foot and twisted his knee to turn around.... BAM!! It was just like an NFL play of astroturf or an NBA player landing awkwardly.

He was screaming!! He couldnt put any weight on it. It didnt seem broken or anything, he wasnt in too much pain when it was flexed through its range of motion... We iced it and he went to bed... with our fingers crossed.

Next morning.. DAYUM!!! completely heeled!! Its amazing how quickly the young body regenerates.


Its really noy your fault. As a parent you can only do so much... short of locking them in a cage.

Just know that she'll recover a better / smarter kid. My son dosnt run around the house so carelessly now... And I certainly am more carefull when we play.

Garrett

 

[rsaavedra]

I'm not a parent but I think I understand how you feel being on the other side of the relationship and having caused some harm accidentally. When I was a little kid I was playing ping pong with my brother, my mom was sitting somewhat nearby doing some knitting quietly, she always let us play till we tired despite the annoying tack tack of the ball. One day in the heat of the game, I hit my mom right on her eyebrow and very near her eye at full speed with the edge of my racket. I was just a little boy but I felt so miserable, she bled and was calm, but I think she was holding the pain and avoiding crying.

Some times very avoidable accidents do happen anyway, we just have to keep our common sense as alert as possible to prevent/avoid risky situations. And of course whenever some accident happens, we just have to be very caring, and learn the lesson not to repeat anything similar.

 

[knestle]

My mother told me that when I was three, I wanted to be outside but she had housework to do. So she tied a rope to the back of my little bib overalls and tethered me to a tree. When she looked out to check on me ten minutes later, the bib overalls were still tied to the tree, but I was gone. She found me a half block down the street, buck naked.

No matter how careful you are crap is gonna happen occasionally.

Le Iacoca was talking about business, but the same thing applies to parenting.
"Don't waste a lot of time worrying about mistakes. EVERYONE makes mistakes. Just hope they aren't too big, and don't cost you too much."

 

[chadbang]

Sorry to hear your little girl was hurt. That's a constant nightmare for me. I'm constantly tense when I watch my little guy (3-years old next week) run around. Yesterday he almost choked on a Winnie the Pooh gummy vitamin. I can't tell you how petrified I felt. Spend the next half hour researching child cpr. I'm glad she's feeling better. One time my son reached for a pan of hot water on the stove. I scream "NO!" so loud it scared the bejesus out of him. Cried and cried. Having a toddler just scares me to death sometimes.