[scrypt]

During an excruciatingly slow night at Ye Old Orifice Cubicle, I found myself wondering whether German black metal bands had appropriated every single story title in the Poe and Lovecraft catalog. (Sadly, they had; for a bad time, google House of Usher or Kadath; when will these people move on to Clark Ashton Smith?)

From there, I found myself wondering whether Cabalistic death metal existed and, if so, whether I could find jpgs of the artists. I googled Golem and various other terms in search of the animal: No luck. All I could find was (you kenned it) another German black metal band.

From there, my interest began to deliquesce and I found myself hunting for Hasidic black metal -- again, no luck. I reasoned that the Hasidic sub-genre, like the Nordic, would rail against modern religion and involve illiterate or spurious translations. I hoped that, during their performances, Hasidic black metal artists would forbid blasphemy, mingling of the sexes, property defacement and references to non-Kosher meat. Unfortunately, I wasn't dreidel-close. I couldn't even find a picture of a payos-sidelocked foont in biker gloves stomping on a leather yarmulke and shouting Yiddish in a Rugelech Monster voice.

Later, in a state of refined intoxication, I found these links to Hasidic metal pages:

http://www.myspace.com/schneersohn
http://lazzardavid.tripod.com/www.ha....com/id27.html
http://hydepark.hevre.co.il/hydepark...p?userid=42466
http://www.vendlus.com/wolves/Queen_...owed_Light.mp3
http://kkahnharris.typepad.com/weblog/

I also unclotted links to the death metal parody, Hatebeak, which is fronted by a vocalist of the avian persuasion, but the humor is, as you might expect, a trifle heavy-handed (the parrot parrots earlier satires):

http://www.myspace.com/hatebeak
http://www.reptilianrecords.com/rept...trefaction.mp3
http://createdigitalmusic.com/2006/0...sts/#more-1361

All of which makes me fling objurgations at the Gaseous Vertebrate while playing grotesquely distorted bar chords: why, god, why did I forget to bring my Hornet to work when I am a mere page away from completing my review of same? (I'd have finished the review last weekend, but a certain individual believes that my need for time alone to fulfill writing obligations necessitates her calling me every few hours to express rage and disappointment -- which, for aught I know, could provide years of inspiration for a black metal advice columnists' band called Bufalino's Red Chisel, but tends to atomize my fragile powers of concentration -- but that, my homunculus, is another tin of Crimson Gefilte Fish.)

 

[mbriant]

LOL. I keep asking myself how often this sort of stuff get's googled. Scrypt, I'm betting you're the first.

 

[Carl]

Quote:

Originally Posted by scrypt During an excruciatingly slow night at Ye Old Orifice Cubicle, I found myself wondering whether German black metal bands had appropriated every single story title in the Poe and Lovecraft catalog. (Sadly, they had; for a bad time, google House of Usher or Kadath; when will these people move on to Clark Ashton Smith?) From there, I found myself wondering whether Cabalistic death metal existed and, if so, whether I could find jpgs of the artists. I googled Golem and various other terms in search of the animal: No luck. All I could find was (you kenned it) another German black metal band. From there, my interest began to deliquesce and I found myself hunting for Hasidic black metal -- again, no luck. I reasoned that the Hasidic sub-genre, like the Nordic, would rail against modern religion and involve illiterate or spurious translations. I hoped that, during their performances, Hasidic black metal artists would forbid blasphemy, mingling of the sexes, property defacement and references to non-Kosher meat. Unfortunately, I wasn't dreidel-close. I couldn't even find a picture of a payos-sidelocked foont in biker gloves stomping on a leather yarmulke and shouting Yiddish in a Rugelech Monster voice. Later, in a state of refined intoxication, I found these links to Hasidic metal pages: http://www.myspace.com/schneersohn http://lazzardavid.tripod.com/www.ha....com/id27.html http://hydepark.hevre.co.il/hydepark...p?userid=42466 http://www.vendlus.com/wolves/Queen_...owed_Light.mp3 http://kkahnharris.typepad.com/weblog/ I also unclotted links to the death metal parody, Hatebeak, which is fronted by a vocalist of the avian persuasion, but the humor is, as you might expect, a trifle heavy-handed (the parrot parrots earlier satires): http://www.myspace.com/hatebeak http://www.reptilianrecords.com/rept...trefaction.mp3 http://createdigitalmusic.com/2006/0...sts/#more-1361 All of which makes me fling objurgations at the Gaseous Vertebrate while playing grotesquely distorted bar chords: why, god, why did I forget to bring my Hornet to work when I am a mere page away from completing my review of same? (I'd have finished the review last weekend, but a certain individual believes that my need for time alone to fulfill writing obligations necessitates her calling me every few hours to express rage and disappointment -- which, for aught I know, could provide years of inspiration for a black metal advice columnists' band called Bufalino's Red Chisel, but tends to atomize my fragile powers of concentration -- but that, my homunculus, is another tin of Crimson Gefilte Fish.)

*Nods in accession*

 

[scrypt]

As often as not, pursuing my interests has led to rather anemic results.

 

[Jahn]

Quote:

Originally Posted by scrypt As often as not, pursuing my interests has led to rather anemic results.

What's worse is when you get a hit-

http://www.westfordregency.com/Healt...bysitting.html

 

[The Monkey]

Quote:

Originally Posted by scrypt As often as not, pursuing my interests has led to rather anemic results.

This made me laugh out loud. Thank you, scrypt.