The Audio Joke Thread

[Redcarmoose]

http://www.amazon.com/AudioQuest-Diamond-6-56-Braided-Cable/dp/B003CT2A2M





















Diamond HDMI incorporates AudioQuest's highest-performance, lowest-distortion Perfect-Surface Silver conductors. Silver is known for its high conductivity and its "colorless" sonic presentation.SOLID 100% PERFECT-SURFACE SILVER (PSS) CONDUCTORS: Perfect-Surface Technology applied to extreme-purity silver provides unprecedented clarity and dynamic contrast. Solid conductors prevent strand interaction, a major source of cable distortion. Extremely high-purity Perfect-Surface Silver minimizes distortion caused by the grain boundaries that exist within any metal conductor, nearly eliminating harshness and greatly increasing clarity compared to OFHC, OCC, 8N and other coppers.FOAMED-POLYETHYLENE INSULATION: Any solid material adjacent to a conductor is actually part of an imperfect circuit. Wire insulation and circuit board materials all absorb energy (loss). Some of this energy is stored and then released as distortion. Diamond HDMI uses air-filled Foamed-Polyethylene Insulation because air absorbs next to no energy and Polyethylene is low-loss and has a benign distortion profile. Thanks to all the air in Foamed-PE, it causes much less of the out-of-focus effect common to other materials.CARBON-BASED 3-LAYER NOISE-DISSIPATION SYSTEM (NDS): 100% shield coverage is easy. Preventing captured RF Interference from modulating the equipment's ground reference requires AQ's Noise-Dissipation System. Metal and Carbon-Loaded synthetics prevent most RFI from reaching the equipment's ground

 

[WraithApe]

Ooh, I got one:
 
http://www.chord.co.uk/product/chord-signature-usb-tuned-aray-digital-interconnect-type-a-to-type-b/
 
The punchline is "£400.00 a meter".
 
And of course, who could forget The Hallograph Sound Field Optimizer.
 

 
I'm surprised no-one has come up with a path cleaner in spray-can form for Bluetooth audio yet...

 

[Redcarmoose]

 

[Redcarmoose]

Blue vibrastone

http://m.ebay.com/itm/262298190462?_mwBanner=1

 

[WraithApe]

 

[wuwhere]

Cable Towers, your speaker or interconnect cables should be elevated and not touching the floor or carpet (I wonder if I elevated my feet while listening to my headphones would make them sound "better"?).
 

 

[headphones1999]

same idea of the 400EU per meter is this:



300$ for 5 of those metal things, there is a thread in a forum from my country where people go crazy with those things and buy like 25 units.
 
another thing from the same company:

the red things ( i think its the same price as the other ones), u put it on any devise and it suppose to kill some waves that are not good for the sound (you need to know where to put them though)
 
honestly it sounds ***up and too good to be true but i actually want to belive its true  

 

[WraithApe]

 
Those red things definitely look like the kind of tweaks approved of by Coconut Audio 

 

 

[Redcarmoose]

Cars now come with placebo audio and digitally created rumbles.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/economy/americas-best-selling-cars-and-trucks-are-built-on-lies-the-rise-of-fake-engine-noise/2015/01/21/6db09a10-a0ba-11e4-b146-577832eafcb4_story.html

 

[WraithApe]

Cars now come with placebo audio and digitally created rumbles.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/economy/americas-best-selling-cars-and-trucks-are-built-on-lies-the-rise-of-fake-engine-noise/2015/01/21/6db09a10-a0ba-11e4-b146-577832eafcb4_story.html

 
Ha ha yes! First came across this on Top Gear - with a new BMW, where Clarkson revealed that the engine noise was being piped in through the speaker system. It begs many questions, not least "what does the driver do when he wants to listen to music?!". Is there a separate channel for engine noise or what?
 
It kinda reminds me of those toilets in Japan that play the sound of a toilet flushing at the touch of a button, through built-in toilet speakers - though I suppose that's more for masking real noise rather than enhancing it... 

 

 

[headphones1999]

 
 
Those red things definitely look like the kind of tweaks approved of by Coconut Audio 

 

lol

 

[Redcarmoose]

Ha ha yes! First came across this on Top Gear - with a new BMW, where Clarkson revealed that the engine noise was being piped in through the speaker system. It begs many questions, not least "what does the driver do when he wants to listen to music?!". Is there a separate channel for engine noise or what?

It kinda reminds me of those toilets in Japan that play the sound of a toilet flushing at the touch of a button, through built-in toilet speakers - though I suppose that's more for masking real noise rather than enhancing it...   

I had a 2005 Accord imported from Japan which was half electric and half gas. You started off in electric then at a higher speed the gas engine would go on automatically. The amazing this was the whole car stereo was noise reduction. A small microphone would record interior sound and the stereo would create a noise canceling sound wave. Worked perfect. The sound waves even reduced outside noise as well as motor noise.

So now we can get fake electronic engine sounds.

 

[Redcarmoose]

Ha ha yes! First came across this on Top Gear - with a new BMW, where Clarkson revealed that the engine noise was being piped in through the speaker system. It begs many questions, not least "what does the driver do when he wants to listen to music?!". Is there a separate channel for engine noise or what?

It kinda reminds me of those toilets in Japan that play the sound of a toilet flushing at the touch of a button, through built-in toilet speakers - though I suppose that's more for masking real noise rather than enhancing it...   

Fake woman sounds at a touch of a button.

 

[Redcarmoose]

[VIDEO] https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eaPsMjyPMtU [/VIDEO]

 

[Redcarmoose]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CDafMzo4HO8