I use subwoofers in two different audio systems in addition to my home theater. I find that with a little work, the contribution they make to the music is huge. But they do take some work to implement correctly.
One secret is to cross the sub over as low as you can. Even at 50hz, the sub will enrich the tone of instruments that play at far higher frequencies. You can do this with little effort other than buying the sub and a pair of interconnect splitters, driving the sub off the same interconnects as your main amp and using the sub as bass reinforcement only. This can work surprisingly well so long as you keep the crossover point low and the sub volume down (easy rule of thumb is to start the sub at very low volume and turn it up until you can "hear" it, then turn it back down by 20-25% or so). You will get seamless or nearly seamless integration and richer, but unobtrusive bass.
Using a good crossover (not the one on your sub!) will make a bigger difference and allow you to use the sub to help out more frequency limited speakers.
For example, on the system I am listening to right now (admittedly an advanced implementation) I have a McIntosh computer with external hard drive playing iTunes through a Wavelength Audio Cosecant V3 DAC playing through a Copland DRC-205 digital room correction device (24 bit A-D-A conversion) through an Audio Research LS-17 preamp through a Bryston 10B crossover set to 140Hz and 6db/octave (both high and low pass) to: a) a First Watt F3 amp to Lowther PM5A drivers in Medallion II cabinets; b) Hsu MBM-12 "midrange" subwoofer (24db/octave crossover set at the maximum frequency, 150 Hz (this sub rolls off physically at 24 db/octave at 50 Hz); and c) Hsu VTF-3 HO Turbo (24 db/octave crossover set at 50 Hz).
With the exception of high frequencies (which I haven't gotten around to playing with yet) this somewhat complicated system delivers sound that is incredibly detailed and nuanced, with great tone (cello's sound like real cello's) and a very relaxed (non-hi-fi) presentation.
Yes, depending on your room and complementary components, a sub can at first appear to be difficult to integrate seamlessly. In my experience, however, most of the folks who have integration problems are trying to play the sub too loud -- trying to turn their main system and main speakers and even their room into something they are not. A sub can't and won't cure all ills. If you approach it as the opportunity for a modest, incremental improvement, however, take the time to experiment with sub location, and keep the crossover point and volume down, I bet you will be pleased.
Of course, if you want to go whole hog, you can achieve really stunning results. In my home theatre I have an MBM-12 crossed over at 120 Hz on the high side, naturally rolling off at 50Hz, 24 db/octave on the low side, to an Epik Conquest set at 50Hz. With the latest version of Audyssey, this combo provides a very convincing foundation to hi-def movie sound while never drawing attention to itself. The Hsu MBM-12 is an amazing device which itself can be a little trick to set up unless you take the easy way out (as I have) by placing both the MBM-12 and the main subwoofer behind the listening area equidistant from the main listening seats. In this configuration both the MBM-12 and Conquest are seamless and completely non-localized.
By the way, one other key to good sub integration is to get the sub off the floor. On one of my systems (which uses the Velodyne HGS-18) I use an ASC sub-trap, a great but somewhat expensive solution. On the Lowther system I am playing with and my home theatre I use Auralex Great Grammas, which work great at a far lower cost.
FWIW, I ignored deep bass as the province of head-thumpers for too many years. Now that I have figured out how to do it more or less right, I can't imagine living without it -- not because of low organ notes or authentic kick-drums, but rather because it gives all kinds of instruments that play in the 100-500 Hz range a richness -- and trueness -- of tone that was always missing before.
If you do it successfully, however, you will quickly figure out that generations of mixing engineers put deep bass on recordings that they didn't know about because although their microphones and recording equipment were capable of picking low frequencies up their studio monitors just couldn't reproduce it. Either that or they figured that none of their customers would be able to hear all of the foot thumps, passing trucks, moving chair legs and other sounds you will hear with your new sub correctly integrated into your system!
Regards, James