saint.panda
Headphoneus Supremus
One of my best friends has passed away at the age of 20 and other than his family, another friend and I are going to hold a funeral speech for him. My mind is a bit blank at the moment and considering the many adults here, I am asking for your advice on what could be mentioned in such a speech and above all, what should be avoided. To let my heart speak is something people are telling me but the heart is a bit troubled at the moment and it is thinking of too many things that should all fit into a couple minutes of speech.
Are well-placed humerous anecdotes allowerd? Should the speech be highly positive or just realistically positive? Should the audience be adressed as well? What is a good length (for two people combined)? How much personal information can be revealed? I am especially having problems on how to end the speech.
I've read some articles on what should be included in such a speech but the fact that the reason of death was suicide is something that will overshadow the entire ceremony. I want the people to have a lasting impression of this truly wonderful person, I want them to remember him in a positive light, I don't want the people to cry but rather walk towards the grave with a smirk on their face thinking of their individual encounters with him. Not to remember him by his death because that was only one small fragment of his life. Even if that's not possible, a small smirk hidden behind the tears and rigid faces would be enough.
What's also absolutely necessary is too say something consoling for his mother because she has always been a fragile person and having learned of her death's suicide directly through the police was not what she needed. Ever since he moved away at quite a young age (mostly due to a very violent and surpressing father) she always thought that he led a happy life. I'd like her to still believe that if possible.
Due to the occasion, many people feel guilty and what I can say to make them turn this guilt into a sort of assignment for life, to remember and sort of live for him instead? His girlfriend that broke up with him a few weeks before the incident, his flatmate who already wondered why he went missing the night before (with very insufficient reasoning afterwards) and who still called him 3 hours before the incident telling him to buy some cat food, another friend who felt tired of cheering him up endlessly and hence feels responsible because of her lacking tenacity, another friend who hasn't been able to talk to him more often due to the geographical distance but should have noticed from the last telephone call 4 weeks ago that he has been never been more down but simply "forgot" to call him again beacuse he was too "busy" with other things, and other people. I'm looking for this spark that will make the people reflect more about his life rather than his death, and remember him by that.
I'm very sorry for having made this so long and thank you for any kind of help on this matter.
Are well-placed humerous anecdotes allowerd? Should the speech be highly positive or just realistically positive? Should the audience be adressed as well? What is a good length (for two people combined)? How much personal information can be revealed? I am especially having problems on how to end the speech.
I've read some articles on what should be included in such a speech but the fact that the reason of death was suicide is something that will overshadow the entire ceremony. I want the people to have a lasting impression of this truly wonderful person, I want them to remember him in a positive light, I don't want the people to cry but rather walk towards the grave with a smirk on their face thinking of their individual encounters with him. Not to remember him by his death because that was only one small fragment of his life. Even if that's not possible, a small smirk hidden behind the tears and rigid faces would be enough.
What's also absolutely necessary is too say something consoling for his mother because she has always been a fragile person and having learned of her death's suicide directly through the police was not what she needed. Ever since he moved away at quite a young age (mostly due to a very violent and surpressing father) she always thought that he led a happy life. I'd like her to still believe that if possible.
Due to the occasion, many people feel guilty and what I can say to make them turn this guilt into a sort of assignment for life, to remember and sort of live for him instead? His girlfriend that broke up with him a few weeks before the incident, his flatmate who already wondered why he went missing the night before (with very insufficient reasoning afterwards) and who still called him 3 hours before the incident telling him to buy some cat food, another friend who felt tired of cheering him up endlessly and hence feels responsible because of her lacking tenacity, another friend who hasn't been able to talk to him more often due to the geographical distance but should have noticed from the last telephone call 4 weeks ago that he has been never been more down but simply "forgot" to call him again beacuse he was too "busy" with other things, and other people. I'm looking for this spark that will make the people reflect more about his life rather than his death, and remember him by that.
I'm very sorry for having made this so long and thank you for any kind of help on this matter.