[gratefulshrink]

Quote:

Originally Posted by afobisme another question: how have you dealt with failures/regrets/missed opportunities? does it make you bitter? that's what i fear the most

Let me turn the question around on you -- do you think a 21 or 25 year-old can't be bitter? Aging doensn't have as much to do with how you handle life's disappointments as does personality/temperment/attitude, which is formed at an early age, IMO.

But, the real rub is for the person who already tends to handle disappointments poorly in their youth. So, yes, that person will become much more bitter with age.

 

[J-Pak]

Quote:

Originally Posted by stewtheking I'm 21, and already I have youth culture and shout at rowdy children on buses. I am an old man trapped in a young man's body. When I grow up, it'll be like everything makes sense finally.

Haha I love it. Why are those damn kids always rushing to the back of the bus *grumble grumble*

 

[markl]

For me, I have to agree with whomever wisely said "youth is wasted on the young." At 36 I'm hardly old, but on this board, I'm a geezer, so I'll share my thoughts anyway.

When you're young, no matter how "smart" all the tests and classes say you are, you are DUMB, almost dumb. Believe it. You are utterly clueless about the real world and your place in it. In large part, that's what makes youth so attractive and Romantic. But it's all an illusion.

All the things that seem so important to you now, are jokes. All your petty anxieties are NOTHING compared to what you will face and must overcome in latter half of your 20s (where the real battle is fought).

Some other wise man (or woman) also aptly said: "No man is worth a damn until they turn 30". I heartily agree with this. As men, we are utterly unreliable and clueless until around 30-33. No woman should marry a man under the age of 30, that's why we have all these divorces.

BTW, if you are a male, beware of the period between 27 and 31, it's a bitch. You are heading smack dab into all of the existential questions you've been creatively putting off until another day, and they can't be avoided anymore. There's a reason all crucial rock stars, revolutionaries, poets, etc. die between these ages. The transition from boy to man, for a male, is treacherous and HARD. Yeah, I know our culture doesn't allow us men to be cognizant of any difficulty whatsoever in being a male, but it is real. Women don't face these crises.

Anyway, the good news is, if you make it through this period, you gain something invaluable-- WISDOM. personally, I feel 100% like I'm getting better, not older. I'm smarter, fitter, more together. I know who I am. No kid has those things.

 

[Kirosia]

Here's a somewhat similar thread I started awhile back:

http://www6.head-fi.org/forums/showt...ighlight=older

I'm still technically young (20), but I feel like I'm at an end. I never really had those great younger moments that you can look back on and say, "I lived a pretty damn good life so far, I'm ready to grow up". No young romance, unbreakable friendships, beautifuls sights, no closure. I'm unprepared, unwilling to move on. People decide who they want to be, or become what they are due to their past/current experiences, but I haven't been able to lived enough to form any sort of goal or reason. I don't want to waste away into nothing, yet part of me doesn't seem to care either way. And that scares me.

EDIT: On a lighter note, I'm at least glad guys seem to age better than women. We can look good til we're fifty.

 

[afobisme]

Quote:

Originally Posted by gratefulshrink Let me turn the question around on you -- do you think a 21 or 25 year-old can't be bitter? Aging doensn't have as much to do with how you handle life's disappointments as does personality/temperment/attitude, which is formed at an early age, IMO. But, the real rub is for the person who already tends to handle disappointments poorly in their youth. So, yes, that person will become much more bitter with age.

i never said age has anything to do with how you handle with life's disappointments.. but i actually believe that. as you grow older, you learn how to deal with disappointment differently. yes, a young person can be bitter, but that's got little to do with what i was curious about, which was: how people deal with disappointment (in particular, from their youth) as they grow older. i want to know how i will feel about my past when i'm 45.. will i still hold on to the things i didn't get to experience as a youth, or will i have let it go? it's probably relative to what most people feel, but i also understand that, at the same time, how i will deal with my problems will also function on a seperate tangent.

 

[Ampersand]

Quote:

Originally Posted by markl For me, I have to agree with whomever wisely said "youth is wasted on the young." At 36 I'm hardly old, but on this board, I'm a geezer, so I'll share my thoughts anyway. When you're young, no matter how "smart" all the tests and classes say you are, you are DUMB, almost dumb. Believe it. You are utterly clueless about the real world and your place in it. In large part, that's what makes youth so attractive and Romantic. But it's all an illusion. All the things that seem so important to you now, are jokes. All your petty anxieties are NOTHING compared to what you will face and must overcome in latter half of your 20s (where the real battle is fought). Some other wise man (or woman) also aptly said: "No man is worth a damn until they turn 30". I heartily agree with this. As men, we are utterly unreliable and clueless until around 30-33. No woman should marry a man under the age of 30, that's why we have all these divorces. BTW, if you are a male, beware of the period between 27 and 31, it's a bitch. You are heading smack dab into all of the existential questions you've been creatively putting off until another day, and they can't be avoided anymore. There's a reason all crucial rock stars, revolutionaries, poets, etc. die between these ages. The transition from boy to man, for a male, is treacherous and HARD. Yeah, I know our culture doesn't allow us men to be cognizant of any difficulty whatsoever in being a male, but it is real. Women don't face these crises. Anyway, the good news is, if you make it through this period, you gain something invaluable-- WISDOM. personally, I feel 100% like I'm getting better, not older. I'm smarter, fitter, more together. I know who I am. No kid has those things.

Very well put. I agree 100%, although i'm right smack dab between the period you consider a 'bitch'. Wish me luck, it has been a tough transition. I look in the mirror and i see my dad. A very scary reality for most.

 

[YamiTenshi]

Nice thread. Though I'm still considered "young" I feel I have input for this thread.

You don't have to be 40+ years old to seriously take a look at where your life is going. I'm only 23 and I'm already wondering if I had wasted my youth. What was it really all for? Things that I took so seriously and worked so hard for just a few years ago seem empty now. Does it really matter in the end?

All downhill from here, huh? I think my life started going downhill somewhere in high school, peaked again in college and nose dived during grad school. If it keeps going downhill from here, well....

 

[kramer5150]

I'm 35. So I don't really qualify as a geezer by your criteria.

Mentally, I never really FELT old till I had two kids... the 3AM bottle feedings, temper tantrums, puke cleanup, 6am wake-up calls...etc... The day to day strugle to keep up with them, bathing, feeding, napping, laundry, reading-time, play time, groceries, diaper changes...etc.... You throw in all the other house chores, yard work, car repairs... HOLY MOLY!!!

Its like theres NEVER enough time for anything. By 6PM you REALLY start to feel...thrashed and beat up. I never understood why young parents lumber aorund in sweats and flip-flops, and always look so haggard and beat up.

Dont get me wrong I love my kids!! But dayum... there are times I FEEL old... really old. One kid doesn't really phase you, you can still tag-team duties with your significant other. With one you're still basically young and feel young. TWO however... Whoo nelly!! Its not double the work... Its INFINITE!!

30 was the turning point for me though. Once I hit 30, my body started to fall apart, sore knees, back pain, pinched nerves, rigid joints and loss of flexibility. I was icing my knees avter every volleyball match and soaking them in a hot-tub... just so I could walk the next morning. The prior decades of tennis and volleyball just killed my knees. I had a partial-tear in my right ACL at 31 on the volleyball court and that ended my active lifestyle for good. My knee still makes crunching and grinding sounds... so it never really healed properly. I'm starting to get back into tennis though. It amazes me how some pro athletes can keep on top of their game well into their mid-30s... Michael Jordan, Pete Sampras, Martina Navratalova(!!!), Kareem Abdul Jabar.

35 compared to 20... I think I'm much more set in my ways. I dont have time or energy to try and change the world anymore. "Thats my stance.. take it or leave it... on to the next problem."

Garrett

 

[Bill Ward]

The drama has faded.

 

[JaGWiRE]

Quote:

Originally Posted by swt61 I'm 45 so I guess I qualify for old geezer status as you see it. Generally I think between 20 and 35 your ideas change pretty drastically every 5 years or so. Feelings and ideas that you thought you'd always support or rely on go out the window for new ideas and thoughts. I find that I have become more liberal as I have aged, but less tolerant politically. I also have come to the realisation that my way of thinking is not the only way of thinking. I'm much more patient than I ever was, which is readily apparent in my driving. I find myself more interested in little things like a brightly colored butterfly, or a unique looking plant, where I wouldn't have wasted a moments thought earlier in my life. However I find myself extremely intolerant of anyone treating children poorly, even if it's the parent. I get upset with parents that are too self absorbed to understand the gift they've been given. My interest in audio has not changed at all, except for the fact that I can afford better equipment now. While I still like nice cars, I find myself buying vehicles that are more efficient and utilitarian and I'm OK with that. A late night of stimulating conversation is quickly becoming as desirable as a late night of stimulating sex. I'm really good at Jeopardy now, just because I've been around long enough to know a little about a lot of different things. And best of all, I don't have to take jobs that I don't really like to do anymore. While there are things I miss about my younger years (mostly a 30" waist), All in all I really like the freedom I have at my age.

Sounds like you should take up photography.

Is it possible when you are a child your thoughts change the quickest and most dramatically in comparison to when your an adult? Every 6 months I radicate (sp?) my thoughts into new ones that are generally miles away from anything similiar to the ones before.

 

[Spiritboxer]

Well, I'm 63 and life is more amazing every day! The last three years have been a challenge, almost died several times and when I was bouncing back from that I was diagnosed with the big nasty so I had to deal with radiation therapy, more surgery and more meds for another year before I'm through. Hard to deal with things physical but spiritually and emotionally I've never been better. Actually considering taking on a student or two soon mainly 'cause one of them is the most gorgeous blonde I know and I love just looking at her. Went to the opera last week as well, an art form I love passionately and I'm set on continuing to live my life no matter what's thrown my way. The most difficult times are the times you learn the most from and life is good 'cuz that's how I want it to be. In the end it's all about perception, think about it, you've got the time.

 

[Kees]

Life is not about what is happening to you, it is about how you deal with it.

 

[boomana]

Well, I just crossed the line into geezerdom today (46..the downhill side)..are women "geezers"? "geezettes"? Maybe "geezas." Anyway, I loved my twenties and thirties (damn fun) but I would never go back, even if I could. I love my forties!!! The friendships I formed in my youth are stronger and more rewarding. I value my family every day, even on those days when we don't like each other much. I'm confident at work, though I just changed careers (again). My sense of adventure hasn't diminshed, but I've learned to stay away from cliffs. Emotions run deeper, but they no longer rule decisions. Sense of self is better. Relationships are better. Sex is better. Money is definitely better though more worrisome. Sense of humor is much better and perhaps more necessary. Patience, compassion, courage, willingness to be wrong, to make changes, to forgive, the ability to ENJOY everything...soooo much better. I now navigate the highs and lows of daily living fairly calmly and, on good days, with grace.

You asked about regrets, failures, etc? YES!!! Huge painful still hurt in the night ones! Thank god!! I've actually lived!!! Maybe I'll make more (hopefully not the same ones...ouch). I get that opportunity, and I no longer take that lightly. I guess you could say that as I've gotten older, my sense of appreciation for all things, small and large, pretty and ugly, has grown.

I could go on and on, but suffice it to say that outside of a bum ankle, a few wrinkles (who is that stranger in the mirror?), and the occasionally annoying responsibility thing, I have never been happier in life than I am now as an official geeza. I'm ready to see what happens next.

 

[FalconP]

The flesh is willing but the spirit is weak... at this ripe old age of 33.

When I was young (that was but some 10 years ago), I resolved to excel in whatever I set my mind on. I just had to get the best grades, go to the most prestigious department in college, be the top in class, and then -- or so I naively envisaged -- get the best job and everyone would live happily ever after. Thing did not go terribly wrong, I must admit, but a few missteps was enough to undo a good plan. I ended up in a high-stress job that I absolutely loathed and basically wallowed in misery for 8 years.

That was a time when I asked myself "why strife?": everyone was so eager to climb the unreachable Mt Everest, but would that do me any good? Why pander to your nobelest fellow Homo sapiens when what they deserve was a quick extinction? Why save the world when the world is not worth saving anyway?

I decided to do things solely for my own sake, and I slow down. I spend more time to listen to music, I read books that really interest me instead of needed by the profession. Now my only ambition is to preserve the status quo.

 

[Jahn]

guys, 30 is the new 20! i refuse to answer the "old geezer" question since i'd only be considered old if i was a professional athelete- and not even that if i was a golfer!