[fyrfytrhoges]

as some of you may or may not remember i posted a thread awhile back about my relationship of 14 years coming to an end. it is finally over and i'm out of the house now. over the last few weeks i came to find out a few interesting things about our relationship over the last 8 - 12 months, mainly that she was sleeping with a married guy she works with, long story short i am devastated. i am finding some solace in music and have found some songs that help me to hate her for what she has done (which is what i need to do right now to get through this) namely green day "having a blast" and limp bizkit "nookie"

i am wondering what you guys could recommend me to help me get through this painfull time in my life. thanks, paul.

 

[usc goose]

i really like reel big fish's "cheer up" when i'm feeling down. it might work for you. otherwise my old standby is "surfacing" by sarah mclachlan, but that usually just makes me more depressed.

 

[grinch]

piebald - the sea and a lifesaver
pixies - where is my mind?
promise ring - jersey shore
me first and the gimme gimmes - phantom of the opera song
tricky - hell is around the corner
alkaline trio - cooking wine



those songs make me want to explode into a fiery oblivion. most of the time, it'd be even better if i was hugging certain ex-girlfriends during this explosion, but there are other songs for that..

 

[fyrfytrhoges]

thanks grinch, that's exactly how i feel, the exploding part i mean!

 

[blessingx]

Not so sure about the hating to get through it bit, but my one advice is stay far away from the tracks "Baby, Please Don't Leave" and "Look What All You Got" by Buddy Guy on "Sweat Tea". With a building drum (call to march) and a where's-my-baseball-bat attitude ("there's something on my shoulder baby, waiting for you"), it could get dangerous.

 

[fyrfytrhoges]

how can you not hate a person who preached to you for years about fidelity and then turns out to be the biggest hypocrite you've ever met in your life. it'll be a long long time before i trust any woman again i'll tell you that much.

 

[raif]

I know this isn't music related but I find that exercise helps me most.
It raises your ability to cope on a general scale, but on top of that when my ex did her thing I would get on one of those cross-trainer machines, with something like tools "the grudge" playing loudely and just let all the evil horrible dwelling thoughts burn through my mind. I would get furious and start pumping the machine like crazy. Very, very theraputic, and good for you too.
my two cents worth.

 

[blessingx]

Hey fyrfytrhoges, I hope you don't think I was questioning your feelings, which in your situation it about as basic and unquestionable as it gets. Just wasn't sure of your method. Reversing to hate, to dislodge/not care, has its own set of problems is all. That's all I meant. It usually works though.

 

[fyrfytrhoges]

thanks for the tip, but unfortunately all the stress has caused me to lose around 18 lbs. so far, and that from someone who maxes out around 148 soaking wet, so exercise has been out of the question for awhile now, but before all this I was in the gym 4-5 times a week, and you're right, it makes you feel great, but along with all this **** you go through you tend to lose alot of your ambition as well.

 

[fyrfytrhoges]

blessingx, no I wasn't taking it that way, i know we all deal with things differently, your input is just as valid as anyone else's. plus I need to get back to you about the malkmus cd when i get an address, sorry.

 

[minya]

I second raif's recommendation. Exercise really helps in a situation like that... helps you focus, gives you a goal you can achieve, and keeps you busy (and tired).

For musical catharsis, though, try:

1. Nine Inch Nails (
   
   )
2. Godspeed You Black Emperor (especially Slow Riot For New Zero Kanada, but your mileage may vary)
3. Joy Division, The Smiths, The Cure, etc. (whiny eighties britpop works wonders on a broken heart)

Man, that's all I can think of right now. Thinking about music at work never works very well because I need my collection in front of me. Oh well.

- Chris

 

[fierce_freak]

I tend to listen to depressing/angry music when I'm in tough times (then again, prolly 75% of my music would fit that description). I've found the best therapy is focusing the pain to a pinpoint and passing through the flames. That's just me. Oh, and it always helps to hear someone that feels the same way you do (When I listen to Stabbing Westward, or in many cases NIN along with a few other bands I wonder at the incredible similarity shown in our respective pains, but especially SW).

 

[D-EJ915]

Spectre General's (a.k.a. Kick Axe, from canada) "Nothin's Gonna Stand In Our Way"
Stan Bush's, "Dare" and "The Touch"

I find these songs to be truly uplifting, they greatly increase your happiness, but Skillet's "Stronger" is good too.

 

[noiseunit]

Quote:

Originally posted by fierce_freak I tend to listen to depressing/angry music when I'm in tough times (then again, prolly 75% of my music would fit that description). I've found the best therapy is focusing the pain to a pinpoint and passing through the flames. That's just me. Oh, and it always helps to hear someone that feels the same way you do (When I listen to Stabbing Westward, or in many cases NIN along with a few other bands I wonder at the incredible similarity shown in our respective pains, but especially SW).

more or less the exact same for me. feed the pain!

and exercise does help a lot, but when im really upset/anxiety prone/angry (almost always woman related), i tend to take my exercise to a masochistic extent...

my favorites for depression of some sort or another:

morcheeba: who can you trust?
cowboy junkies: lay it down
garbage: version 2.0
local h: pack up the cats

 

[dabblerblue]

nin, 'gave up'

the cure, 'from the edge of the deep green sea'

numb, 'no time'

tool, 'crawl away'

brighter death now, all of 'innerwar'

got a bunch more, but that's off the top of my head...

edit: damn, grinch, you and i've got the same user icon...guess i'll be changing mine soon