And there are lots of kinds of spatial cues. You can turn your head to locate sounds in space like a deer does. Sounds reflect off the walls of the room and that gives you indications of where the source is placed. I think it's pretty much self evident that headphones with sound in a straight line through the center of your head doesn't sound like a speaker system in a listening room, even with your eyes closed. I think some people are just arguing for argument's sake.
I agree, headphones don't sound like speakers in the room. In the beginning I said something like that when I joined this forum about crossfeed, but I put my words poorly. They sound different, of course, but that doesn't mean headphones can't have miniature soundstage that is NOT just a straight line through the center of our heads. Headphone sound is almost never like that to me. Stereophonic recordings contain all kind of spatial cues and regardless of how much they make sense, my spatial hearing tries to make sense of them and that results a sound that doesn't live ONLY on a straight line through the center of my head, but is spread elsewhere, even outside my head. Without crossfeed the sounds are concentrated at my ears, because those spatial cues are REAL, that happens in physical world, put overall all sounds appear VERY near my head or inside my head, because the excessive ILD of typical stereo recordings without crossfeed is an indicator for the sounds being very near my ears. With crossfeed the "near ears" indication is milder or nonexistent and the miniature soundstage not only becomes larger (but still much smaller than speaker soundstage), but also organised, non-fractured. In that way it is more
similar to the sound given by speakers in a room, but the result is still quite different from speakers and this is what I didn't make clear when I started on this forum, because I was too enthusiastic to write about crossfeed. Anyway:
1) I find properly crossfed headphone spatiality quite enjoyable, even intimate/cosy/personal.
2) Speaker sound is not without its problems. Headphones remove the problems of room acoustics.
3) I can (almost) always listen to speakers if I want the big real soundstage.
In my listening room, I have a front soundstage that is about 14 feet in front of me. It's about 18 feet wide. Behind me is another sound stage in the rear. The two mesh and sound objects can appear in the middle of the room. If I had Atmos speakers, I could have a sound plane above adding more precision to the field. You can do all this with headphones, but it requires RT signal processing, head tracking, and a calibration to your personal HRTF. Castle is the only one I know who has this.
I am not rich and in Finland apartments are typically small, because keeping large apartments warm during the cold winters is costly, and in Finland apartments are warm! We are not like Brits who wear warm clothes inside and still shiver of cold. My listening room is about 16 feet long and 11 feet wide. The distance of speakers from the listening point is 7 feet to all 5 speakers. My speaker soundstage is much smaller than your speaker soundstage and because I let my spatial hearing to do its "magic" with properly crossfed headphone sound, to me the difference of speaker soundstage and miniature headphone soundstage is much smaller than it is for you. With some recordings (typically well-recorded church music with massive reverberation), the miniature soundstage given by my headphones is just 3 times smaller than the speaker soundstage, but for most recordings it is not that good and typically the miniature headphone soundstage is about 10 % the size of the speaker soundstage, but even that means the miniature soundstage extents outside my head several inches.
Binaural recording has similar problems. If your head doesn't match the dummy head, it falls flat. Binaural requires personal calibration to really work well. That is why it is a novelty effect rather than a widely used technique for recording music.
Poor match of dummy head just means the result is worse and I believe "blurring dummy head spatiality" is one solution to mitigate the problems. In a way, crossfeed is just extremely "blurred" dummy head spatiality. So, if you blur out the most individualistic featured of the dummy head HRTF, the result for listeners with different kind of HRTF will be less contradictory. One thing I learned quickly when I started crossfeeding was that spatial hearing needs adaptation time. The soundstage may sound bad at first, but after 1-2 minutes spatial hearing has adjusted to it having learned its main characteristics and the soundstage gets better. It is kind of similar to eyes adjusting to dark.
By the way. Headphones don't sound flat to me. They just sound like a straight line "inside my head", not projected out in front of me in a room. That can sound OK, they just don't have dimensionality. I listen to music on the go that way all the time. But it isn't the same as listening to music on my 5.1 system. Multichannel with good speakers in a sympathetic room is clearly better sounding than even the best headphones. I suspect a lot of people just haven't had the opportunity to hear a really good speaker system, so they don't know what they're missing. They might be judging by a couple of small bookshelf speakers randomly placed in a less than optimal room.
A straight line inside your head sounds VERY flat to me. Only totally dry test tones or synthetic sounds avoid of any spatial cues sound like the for me. If I just add some reverberation to those dry sounds the miniature soundstage becomes something bigger, at least filling my head more.
I have had the opportunity to hear top notch speaker systems. I know what they sound like. My own 5-channel speaker system performs really well for its price, but the reality is most people just aren't as well off as you are. Your standard of living surpasses at least 95 % of all people in the World. That's why you can't be surprised about why ALL people don't do what you do. The fact that a great sounding speaker system requires expensive speakers carefully placed in a room with good acoustic treatment is a financial and practical burden, a problem. You are not willing to admit that while you whine about all the problems of headphone spatiality. That is not intellectually honest. Most people are not kings who can have everything they want. Normal people need to make compromises in life. I suppose you are not rich enough to go to space, are you? So maybe you compromise by visiting Paris instead? What if William Shatner told people how they judge space exploration by having seen Kubrick's 2001 in a crappy movie theatre instead of having gone 70 miles high or so for 10 minutes... ...yeah the latter asks for a BIGGER wallet.