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You might know the answer Jaddie... I've always wondered why it is that you can get peak volume levels higher with headphones than with speakers. Is it about pushing the air in the room or filling in the space? I know when I would try to balance with headphones, I'd end up with big spikes that I didn't know were there when I listened back on speakers. I finally gave up trying to mix with headphones and only used them for tracking.
The close coupling of headphones and IEMs to the ear presents a distorted reality in several ways. I bypasses spacial hearing, and the perception of a real acoustic space. I bypasses much of what we use as normal references to volume, some of which is room noise, our own speech and speech of others, essentially anything that helps us to place sound in context. Then our hearing accommodates to the new artificial sterile environment and we've lost a real reference to acoustic space and volume. The next thing we know, we're listening too loud, and misjudging high peaks, stereo placement, reverb, EQ, pretty much everything. We need a sense of an acoustic space to keep things in perspective.
Yes, live mixes I've done on cans and recorded have always been disappointing. I did a whole series of live broadcasts back in the mid 1990s where I could only mix on headphones because my mix position was essentially on stage. All together I was doing 6 separate mixes: FOH, stage monitor, IEM monitor for two different musicians, a mono mix for broadcast and a stereo mix to tape. I got the FOH sounding good, and got enough stage monitor and IEM to satisfy the performers, and my basic broadcast mix was OK in mono, but when I listened to my stereo mix recorded on digital tape and played on speakers, it sucked big time. I'd judged the FOH by running out into the audience, judged the monitor and IEM based on musician comment and request, the station gave me input on the mono broadcast mix over the IFB, but I was on my own for the stereo mix. Pretty much the way of things.
Mackie 1604-VLZ is a marvelous mixer, though!