One tube can have identical readings of another and glow differently. Why? Because what you are "normally" seeing is the glow of the heater and in any two tubes the amount of heater that is exposed past the plates will differ, so will the amount of "glow" that you see will differ but this has nothing to do with the actual functioning of the tube, how it is matched or tube life.
I have some tubes from 1929 that match perfect (27 globe mesh plates) but one has more of the heater exposed and looks like a beacon at night. It is so bright it looks like a 15 watt bulb illuminating the room. It is so bright that I don't use it becuase it is distracting but the tube is fine, it just has more of the filament (heater) exposed.
For more information try posting over at Audio Asylum under the tube section and ask the question, though it has been asked many times before. You could also do a search over there.
Oh, you could use a preamp or power amplifier to match tubes, taking measurement of plate current, bias current but you really have to know what you are doing as you are working with 100 to 500 volts and enough current to kill, but this is a very accurate way to check tubes as they are "in" the circuit intended for them.
John