Onix
Papá de Iñaki
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2001
- Posts
- 3,271
- Likes
- 97
About a month ago I had what seems to be an infection on the rigth ear, anounce by a ringing that just suddenly apeared when I was starting to feel better after a troath infection. I was like "whoa, my troath feels better," when the ringing started. I went to the doctor, she gave antibiotics, but the ringing never left. Then came the hearing loss, the sensation of something in my ear, vertigo, nausea and some memory loss. Some antibiotics injected to the muscles, some medicine for the vertigo, some antiinflamatory and ear drops. I am having some blood tests in a couple of days and then I'll go to the audiologist. I have to say that I wished I never decided to check on my sypmtoms on my own. The doctor said, "we have to check if it's Meniere's", and I was scared when she mentioned it. And then, I had to be dumb enough to check on it on the net. "Progressive," "no cure," "hearing loss." There was a point some days ago that when I woke up I had double vision for minutes and I was unable to use my hands. I am actually feeling physsically better, but putting my headphones on I can hear the ringing pervading all I hear. It's the first time in weeks I try to listen to some music and I just can't. I can't shake the feeling that this is the most anoying thing that could possibly happen to me, since I enjoy music so much on my cans. I try to think that there are more important things, like getting my house by the end of the month, being 38 years old and be able to have a family, like nobody expected me to do years ago. But I keep thinking, "why my ears, why my music."
When I was growing up, having problems with my mom after my dad died, or in school and my personal life, I found solace on my LP's and my father's old console. I discovered Led Zeppelin and Jimmi Hendrix the same day on that console, tuning the radio. And the music covered me. I had find a refuge. Today, I gave a friend a CD with live songs by the Alex Skolnick Trio. He mentioned some blips in it and gave me his headphones to check it out. I almost cried when I felt that warm sound coming to my ears after what seemed to be forever. But the ringing won't leave me. I feel like I am loosing my refuge, the only thing besides my family that can make me feel alive. I feel so screwed up. I feel I could give away an eye gladly instead of loosing my hearing.
Anyway, I have tried to refrain myself from posting about this, but if there's a place where someone can understand how I feel is here. On this matter, I really feel like I am on a deserted island. I truly feel screwed up.
When I was growing up, having problems with my mom after my dad died, or in school and my personal life, I found solace on my LP's and my father's old console. I discovered Led Zeppelin and Jimmi Hendrix the same day on that console, tuning the radio. And the music covered me. I had find a refuge. Today, I gave a friend a CD with live songs by the Alex Skolnick Trio. He mentioned some blips in it and gave me his headphones to check it out. I almost cried when I felt that warm sound coming to my ears after what seemed to be forever. But the ringing won't leave me. I feel like I am loosing my refuge, the only thing besides my family that can make me feel alive. I feel so screwed up. I feel I could give away an eye gladly instead of loosing my hearing.
Anyway, I have tried to refrain myself from posting about this, but if there's a place where someone can understand how I feel is here. On this matter, I really feel like I am on a deserted island. I truly feel screwed up.
