I need new freinds.

May 3, 2007 at 10:30 PM Post #61 of 86
I don't understand what is so tough to comprehend here. Is he "entitled" to this that or the other? Well yall's words, not mine, but his parents are morally and ethically obligated to give him the best start they can. If they could never afford for him to play tuba to begin with, why let him get his hopes up and improve to the point of majoring in it?

They've known for 4 years that he may just end up doing this in college. The writing is on the wall. Every year you improve and improve and you get awards and you go to all-state and all that kind of stuff. And now, surprise! You need a tuba. No, not one bit of a surprise.

I understand how with getting a tuba, they may well not have the money for a car, and the OP should not be allowed to get some death trap he won't be able to afford anyway. No, but something has to give and that's what so little of you seem to understand. I guess this is a place where people are more likely to listen to music than play it, but that doesn't mean you can't read.

So he needs the tuba and that means getting a car will be tough to handle. Ok fine, why not help him get to practice, do the best you can, sit at the table and say "Hey, we'll all figure this out somehow." Why can't they show some support and be on his side?

Or are kids not entitled to that either. If you really feel that way, that you don't owe your kids the best you can do on the path to a good education, even if that means some emotional support if not monetary, then I feel sorry for how you were raised and how you raise your kids.
 
May 3, 2007 at 10:37 PM Post #63 of 86
Quote:

Originally Posted by plainsong /img/forum/go_quote.gif
I don't understand what is so tough to comprehend here. Is he "entitled" to this that or the other? Well yall's words, not mine, but his parents are morally and ethically obligated to give him the best start they can. If they could never afford for him to play tuba to begin with, why let him get his hopes up and improve to the point of majoring in it?

They've known for 4 years that he may just end up doing this in college. The writing is on the wall. Every year you improve and improve and you get awards and you go to all-state and all that kind of stuff. And now, surprise! You need a tuba. No, not one bit of a surprise.

I understand how with getting a tuba, they may well not have the money for a car, and the OP should not be allowed to get some death trap he won't be able to afford anyway. No, but something has to give and that's what so little of you seem to understand. I guess this is a place where people are more likely to listen to music than play it, but that doesn't mean you can't read.

So he needs the tuba and that means getting a car will be tough to handle. Ok fine, why not help him get to practice, do the best you can, sit at the table and say "Hey, we'll all figure this out somehow." Why can't they show some support and be on his side?

Or are kids not entitled to that either. If you really feel that way, that you don't owe your kids the best you can do on the path to a good education, even if that means some emotional support if not monetary, then I feel sorry for how you were raised and how you raise your kids.


point taken but keep in mind these facts:
- his dad will be BUYING him a car
- his attitude is "i'm entitled" to rides whenever
- he brings this weak game into members lounge
- brutal honesty
yes his parents should have realized, and DID (see fact the first), that he needed a car. you can not fault his parents for not getting it to him soon enough. cars are very expensive.

for the op: i've been a profesional working in and around seattle for 15 years, and i never owned a car until one year ago. so spare me the "i'm helpless without a car" line.
 
May 3, 2007 at 10:52 PM Post #64 of 86
Quote:

Originally Posted by redshifter /img/forum/go_quote.gif
point taken but keep in mind these facts:
- his dad will be BUYING him a car
- his attitude is "i'm entitled" to rides whenever
- he brings this weak game into members lounge
- brutal honesty
yes his parents should have realized, and DID (see fact the first), that he needed a car. you can not fault his parents for not getting it to him soon enough. cars are very expensive.

for the op: i've been a profesional working in and around seattle for 15 years, and i never owned a car until one year ago. so spare me the "i'm helpless without a car" line.


You were either in walking distance or had public transport.

I'm in a city in the middle of nowhere, in Ohio. Public transport, buses, subway's, those are all unheard of around here.
 
May 3, 2007 at 11:13 PM Post #65 of 86
Quote:

Originally Posted by wafflesomd /img/forum/go_quote.gif
You were either in walking distance or had public transport.

I'm in a city in the middle of nowhere, in Ohio. Public transport, buses, subway's, those are all unheard of around here.


you might assume that, but you would be wrong. for about 8 or nine of those years i commuted by bike. i have great memories of flying by cars stuck in gridlock.
 
May 3, 2007 at 11:36 PM Post #66 of 86
I'm not a US citizen but i do go to music school in Boston. I heard from my friends that you can get a student loan to buy your own instrument ( only for US citizens ).

Plainsong, not all parents are like the ones you have or the "ideal" ones. Good for you if you had a lot of support when you were growing up. I love my parents, they taught me morals and manners but when come to education, they had no clue. They did not have a college education, neither did they want to get involve in my application process. All they did was said, do your best. We didn't sit around and discuss how i was going to afford college. I had to figure that out by myself. Doesn't make them bad parents. Of course, when/if i become a parent, i will learn from my own experience.

Waffles, actually, the best thing you can do is talk to your teachers ( high school and college ) and then try to work something out. Check out the student loan thingie, so that you can get a tuba now rather than later. That will solve your transport problem. If you're serious about becoming a musician, practice your butt off this summer. It is super competitive.
 
May 3, 2007 at 11:40 PM Post #67 of 86
Well, I just ran into a brick wall.

I've been under the impression that my Mom had scheduled me for this saturday's SAT. I actually registered myself for the last one, but couldn't go to it, due to family crap. Guess when I asked my parent's if I were registered, and they said yes, it actually means no.

Now, I've gotta wait till June
frown.gif
 
May 4, 2007 at 12:01 AM Post #68 of 86
Ok now dude, you should have signed yourself up. Now they could have been honest with you, that part is their fault, but not signing up yourself, or doing the legwork to check, that's solely on you.
wink.gif


Nothing like putting it off until the last minute.
wink.gif


It's the tuba that needs solving now. And for those of you whose parents didn't take the parenting thing seriously, I feel sorry for you, but it's not the OP's fault.

For Waffle, I ask this, let's say that your parents have been completely encouraging and supportive, always eager to go to a concert, always proud when you seem to improve and to enjoy what you're doing. They work long hours, but if they can help getting you to practice they certainly try their best, and they have a caring attitude that in your heart of hearts, you don't doubt, even if they do get on your last nerve sometimes.

Let's say they've been dreading this moment for 4 years, and they just can't manage to swing a tuba or a car.

Would it feel better that they at least are on your side, are a sympathetic shoulder, who care about you meeting these goals?

Sometimes a little understanding can go a long way. If the answer is that I just described them, then all you need to do is communicate with them a bit better how important this is to you. They can lend you emotional support if nothing else, and that is something not to be taken for granted.

If I didn't just describe your parents, then your road became a little bit tougher than it needs to be.
 
May 4, 2007 at 12:30 AM Post #70 of 86
Quote:

Originally Posted by wafflesomd /img/forum/go_quote.gif
Well, I just ran into a brick wall.

I've been under the impression that my Mom had scheduled me for this saturday's SAT. I actually registered myself for the last one, but couldn't go to it, due to family crap. Guess when I asked my parent's if I were registered, and they said yes, it actually means no.

Now, I've gotta wait till June
frown.gif



dude i've given you advice before but since you don't seem to listen this is the last time I'm going to offer it. It seems to me like you're one of those people who says oh woe is me and sits on their butt complaining about how hard life is and how they got the short end of the stick. Nothing is going to change from you coming on head-fi and complaining about all this stuff, what are we supposed to do? Teach you the secret to flying so you can get to school and a job?

When I was 15 and no one would hire me, I started an internet business. I sold services from my own website and ebay. Each job I would make around $50, and I could do it all in my own home, and by walking to the post office to mail back the customers finished product.

If you want to make something of your life then quit moping around and do something about it. If your parents are being such A-holes then btch at them and make dam sure they know you're not going to take this behavior. Like I said before in your other thread, if my parents would not drive me to school, or make sure I had some sort of reliable transportation, i would flat out not go. You're parents obviously aren't poor as they can afford a new truck for your brother, so its their attitude that needs an adjustment. If you're not going to stick up for yourself in life then you're screwed, plain and simple.


Quote:

Originally Posted by nabwong /img/forum/go_quote.gif
Don't. Feel sorry for the refugees in Darfur instead.


way to make this into a political discussion... how about feeling sorry for the endangered giant panda..
 
May 4, 2007 at 12:33 AM Post #71 of 86
One can feel sorry for a variety of people and things who face varying degrees of hardship. There is no need to engage in one-upmanship. "I'm sad because my house burned down", followed by "LOL there are people who never had a house in the first place, shut up and be thankful you used to have one".
 
May 4, 2007 at 12:41 AM Post #72 of 86
Quote:

Originally Posted by pne /img/forum/go_quote.gif
way to make this into a political discussion... how about feeling sorry for the endangered giant panda..


If, for you, caring for another human being is political, then that's sad.
 
May 4, 2007 at 12:56 AM Post #73 of 86
Your post rather involves instructing someone to not care for another human being.
 
May 4, 2007 at 1:03 AM Post #74 of 86
Quote:

Originally Posted by nabwong /img/forum/go_quote.gif
Don't. Feel sorry for the refugees in Darfur instead.


What?? And what does one have to do with the other, and how does one negate the other?

Feel for this means you cannot feel for that... what a load of crap.
 
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