Humor: Personal ads
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MacDEF

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Here in the Bay Area, there's a web site called "Craig's List" -- it started out years ago as a small bulletin board to post stuff for sale, but has become a major for sale/wanted/personal ads site and has actually branched out to several other major cities.

On the site is a "Best of" for personal ads, and some are really funny. Here are a couple recent ones:


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Quote:

TITLE: Just stand there and make me look good

I’m looking for those special people, or I guess those not so special people that are willing to hang out with me in public and make me look good in comparison to yourself. This shouldn’t be too hard since I meet a lot of people that make me look like a rock star in comparison but those friendships never seem to last. I wasn’t giving it my all. Obviously I have to be better looking, more entertaining and outgoing than you but please no mongoloids because you will scare other people away. I don’t need to hang out with the short bus posse. I will do my best to make you feel better about yourself but it won’t really have any impact because, after all, nobody would want to hang out with you when they could hang out with me. You should be that kind of person that everybody says "What's up with your friend?" behind your back. I'll do my best to explain exactly what is up with you because I care just that much about you.

Also please no super extroverted life of the party people. I already have plenty of friends like that and it isn’t helping me achieve my goals.

I know you are out there because I see you all the time doing your part to make your current friends look better by comparison but maybe you are tired of making the same old people look good and would like to expand your group of friends that are wittier, have a better personality, and have had a more exciting life than you.

Thanks and I look forward to hearing from you, possibly the only person that ever looks forward to hearing from you.

Other ways to contact poster:
stand next to me and look brain dead




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Quote:

I get tired of weeding through all these ads that are essentially saying the same things. This is why I would like to request that you all use one of the following ad titles to help me (and you) save some time. Thanks!


God’s gift looking for God’s gift

I’ll compromise on anything except my unrealistic standards

I’m not much but expect you to be perfection

I’m exciting and adventurous because I drive a motorcycle/convertible

3 paragraphs on how I’m fat and hate your shallow ass

Allow me to buy your love

I’ll ****/lick anything

I swear this is the last of my last posts!

I haven’t had an original interest or thought in over a decade

Let me give this mother a whirl

My picture scares people away

I’m lucky enough to still have a job but all I do is chat online all day

I’m witty but nothing in my ad shows that

Let’s bond over our common STD

Addicted to constant disappointment

I’m totally overwhelmed with responses (only posted by females)

I’m as deep and sincere as your picture is attractive

My complete ad wouldn’t fit in the craig’s database part 1

SF SWF ISO PhD BMW LOL

I set aside 10 minutes a week for true love

Damn, I’m impressive

You’re so lucky that I am ready for a relationship

I have nothing to say and enjoy good conversation

I posted this 5 minutes ago, and 5 minutes before that, and 5 minutes before that…..

I just broke up with my ex 2 hours ago and am ready to go back out there!

Friendship first. Sex never.

I’m a stereotypical unique individual

I planned the perfect date but forgot I don’t have one

I’m laidback and casual. WHY AREN’T YOU RESPONDING?? ANSWER ME!!!!

I’m a spectacular ****

I’m honest and also just saying what you want to hear

I’m a health nut, emphasis on nut


 
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post-226240
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dhwilkin

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LOL, that's pretty funny! Got more?
 
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Old Pa

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That pretty much covers it, except, maybe, "I think my parole board might look favorable upon my participation here as "resocialization"".
 
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