[mark2410]

i think the shoe / clothing comparison. id explain in no uncertain terms that i'll have only one headphone when she only has one pair of shoes. if she sees no need fo r more than one headphone explain you see no need for her to have more than 1 pair o f shoes etc but that you understand its something thats important to her so you dont need to understand it. you love her and if she says its important to her than thats all you need.

then let her squeeze out of explaining why she clearly doesnt car about your feelings or whats important to you.

 

[priest]

Quote:

Originally Posted by billybob_jcv /img/forum/go_quote.gif And not just headphones - buy *everything* on the 'net, even everyday items like toothpaste, shoes and all of your clothing. Keep a steady stream of packages arriving and she'll never notice the occasional headphone, dac, amp, etc.

Brilliant! I do a less ingenious version of this by trying to buy heaphones from Amazon whenever possible, so she just thinks it's more CDs, which she long ago gave up caring about. I have to disclaim though that this trick only works if you have a very non-observant wife, which luckily I do.

We should all keep in mind that our wives are probably doing similar things to us with shoes etc and several other items we know nothing about. And they're probably posting about it on some forum we know nothing about as well.

 

[Arlekiin]

Quote:

Originally Posted by priest /img/forum/go_quote.gif Brilliant! I do a less ingenious version of this by trying to buy heaphones from Amazon whenever possible, so she just thinks it's more CDs, which she long ago gave up caring about. I have to disclaim though that this trick only works if you have a very non-observant wife, which luckily I do. We should all keep in mind that our wives are probably doing similar things to us with shoes etc and several other items we know nothing about. And they're probably posting about it on some forum we know nothing about as well.

Its brilliant, that we don't know about these things and I suppose most of us wouldn't want to know anyway's.

 

[noremedy]

Loving all of these suggestions, Luckily I don't plan on marriage for another 10+ years.

 

[billybob_jcv]

Quote:

Originally Posted by priest /img/forum/go_quote.gif Brilliant! I do a less ingenious version of this by trying to buy heaphones from Amazon whenever possible, so she just thinks it's more CDs, which she long ago gave up caring about. I have to disclaim though that this trick only works if you have a very non-observant wife, which luckily I do. We should all keep in mind that our wives are probably doing similar things to us with shoes etc and several other items we know nothing about. And they're probably posting about it on some forum we know nothing about as well.

Of course they are! I would expect nothing less of the woman that shares her life with me! Make as much money as you can, make sure the important things are covered, then "don't ask, don't tell" about how either of you spend the discretionary funds. It's worked for us for almost 25 years...

 

[krmathis]

I bet she have more than one purse...
Get the point?

 

[Zanth]

Husband to Wife:

"Honey, I'm willing to give up X so that I can save up to afford Y."

Wife to Husband:

"This does not affect me in any way, okay go for it."


This is a good way to go about it if money is tight and she's brining in the vast majority of it. Honesty first and foremost. Once trust is broken it can be very difficult, if possible at all, to get it back.

Second, there is no point in causing major upheavals over some headphones. No matter how fun this hobby is, it isn't worth more than a person, let alone one you love.

Third, if you enjoy coffee, or a drink after work (or heck during work!) just give that up for a while so that money you would have otherwise spent is now in the headphone slush fund. This is how I work things with my wife when money is really tight. I'll give up certain things that we both often take for granted and I'll roll those savings into some other dispensable form, usually music/audio related stuff. Or, tell her you will pick up 1 extra shift every two weeks to afford it. This way again, you don't deplete the communal funds. I've done this in the past, take on a bit of over-time to save up for something. My deal is that I will never work hours in which I could have otherwise spent with the family. This isn't an option for most, but since you say she works double what you do, you could throw in an extra shift while she is working anyway so that you could afford your toys. So long as you keep school a priority (if it is a priority for you) you should be in good shape.

Ultimately, don't sneak the stuff in, don't hide it from her, don't lie to her. Be upfront, let her know you enjoy the hobby and you will work within the limits of your income potential to afford stuff.

 

[TheAttorney]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zanth /img/forum/go_quote.gif Ultimately, don't sneak the stuff in, don't hide it from her, don't lie to her. Be upfront, let her know you enjoy the hobby and you will work within the limits of your income potential to afford stuff.

x2. But it helps to have an undestanding wife. Mine is wonderful. In fact, in the unlikely event she is reading this, she is brilliant in every way!

She understands that boys need their toys. And that bigger boys need bigger toys. So I tell her exactly what I'm buying, but not how much it costs. She's already worked out not to ask - as the answer will result in her questioning my sanity. As long as it doesn't effect the boring things in life - like having a roof over our heads.

We have a joint account and private accounts. The joint account sorts out the roof, and the private accounts we do with what the hell we like.

 

[Zanth]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheAttorney /img/forum/go_quote.gif But it helps to have an undestanding wife.

Indeed it does. My usual advice is don't marry an unreasonable person. But, once they are married, well...the guy has already screwed himself right?

Best to work within those limits now

Quote:

We have a joint account and private accounts. The joint account sorts out the roof, and the private accounts we do with what the hell we like.

At present, given where we are at in our lives, my wife and I don't make enough really to justify having separate accounts. That will change I suppose once I graduate and we stop paying for daycare.

That said, a good friend of mine has the joint/private setup and it works this way:

Every two weeks each of them are paid (they are paid during the same week he on Wed, she on Thur) and the amounts are automatically deposited into the joint account.

That same Friday, two automatic transfers are made for an exact amount, the same every two weeks into two private accounts.

What one decides to do with their own play money is up to them. My friend tends to save up and then go nuts on things. He once saved up 6 months and then made an incredible order on Amazon for over 100 DVDs and a few dozen books. He had just been sitting on it waiting for the right time and then just went for it. Meanwhile, his wife is more even keel with how she spends her money, never large amounts but consistent each week going out with friends etc.

They are a very happy couple and they never ever argue about money. For major purchases they jointly save from their joint account (for example they spent 6 weeks in Europe last year and then bought a house).

I think this is a great way to set up the money so that each one feels in control as well as feeling secure that enough money for bills exists and will continue to exist.

 

[ServinginEcuador]

Each relationship dynamic is different, therefore each approach will be also. Some folks use the ninja method, others are just up-front and have no problems.

Just remember: if your relationship is less important than new gear dump your SO and buy all the gear you want!

 

[Joelby]

In my case it helps to make double the salary of my partner. I pay the bills and after that it's fair game.

Also, why not ask for them as bday/christmas gifts?

 

[priest]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ultrazino /img/forum/go_quote.gif How do you convince your wife that you need more than two or even three pairs of ear-/headphones? I currently own AKG K 55, Sennheiser CX 500, Ultrasone Zino, Bose TriPort On-Ear and I've ordered Audeo PFEs last week. Of course I don't plan to keep all of them (the PFE will replace CX 500) but my wife only wants me to keep one pair. I have tried the shoe comparison but it didn't work! Any ideas?

Oh yeah, here's another thing you can do: Show her the profile for WertherDVX (of course this could backfire if she begins to fear you are on that track).

 

[Doodle07]

this is by far the most amusing thread on this entire website.

oh, and whatever you end up doing, you're gonna have to get used to her rolling her eyes at you, it happens a lot no matter what you try. i've given up trying to explain audio stuff to the gf.

 

[tenzip]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doodle07 /img/forum/go_quote.gif this is by far the most amusing thread on this entire website. oh, and whatever you end up doing, you're gonna have to get used to her rolling her eyes at you, it happens a lot no matter what you try. i've given up trying to explain audio stuff to the gf.

Wait, she only rolls her eyes about audio stuff? I get the eye roll from the wife damn near every time I open my mouth! I was starting to think that was just her way of telling me she was paying attention.

 

[Gamerphile]

I tell her its for work or studies as it really is... partially.... lately she figured that bit out about partial dependency but then I counted by going more into studies and work stuff and talking about the other stuff I still need to get for my ligitimate projects. Working alot for making up for stuff and generally being reasonable with funds helps alot with my SO. Like its not the money that counts so of thing - never got the people who limit thier kids in price of icecream or only give gift to a cut amount - its the idea not the money... again within reason...

In the end its all about moving away from the money talk - you should also always ponder over things and not just buy so there is real reasoning behind it - helps when you are cornered