I like to play my GBA when Im rendering here in the lab and I have to stick around because I dont want some ****o to screw with the computer I'm using.
As far as being addicted to video games, well sure, but I was addicted to books in highschool. I pretty much went home and read books. I read books during every spare moment at school. I took books everywhere. I read too many fucn books to tell you the truth. In fact, now I'm burned out on reading books, I read 30-40 books one month in high school, something like the entireity of Asimovs Foundation and Empire series in addition to a bazillion others. Star Wars books, the dune series, various edumicated books like Don Quixote. Then I got tired of that **** and moved on to philosophy, and thats when it all got really fucd. Kafka, Marx, Rousseau, old Ideas, new Ideas, Ideas that fuc with your head. Too much information, too much conflicting information to be sure. And god forbid, never do this, I read some Freud. What a psychotic nut job. I even started reading literary criticism for recreational purposes. Thats just sick. I was fucn sick, I was obsessed with books and information. I started going through my history books and reading all the sections about war. I read everything, it slowly broke down, I started reading comics and the newspaper (When I wasnt pouring over the stocks). I even started reading the phone book. Slowly it degraded further, I took interest in reading the inane. I started seeing deep meanings in the warranty information on the back of my calculator. I could construe a philosophical idea from the fine print on a toilet paper advertisement. I would flip the visor down on any new car I got into to read seat belt warnings. I started making distinctions between one brand of car and the next based on these warnings. I tried to find patterns between the wording used and the target market of the car model. I was quite literally going insane and I really had no idea. Then, quite thankfully, one day I just said **** this. And shortly after all that I came to art school. Since then ive finished reading like 10 books in 4 years. I realised books make you antisocial and pissed off. I honestly believe that. Or at the very least, too many books do that. Now I keep my reading down to directions etc. How to model the human head in maya 4.0 that kind of ********. The last book I tried to read was a vonnegut book id read twice before already, I read the first 5 pages and put it back on the bookshelf. Then I proceded to play some GBA and try to get on with life...
Despire all that Ive been spending alot of time at the Oxford english dictionary webpage dreaming about 20 volumes of unadulterated English language. I even made dictionary.com my homepage a year or so ago. Its like an obsession, its been bred into me, READ READ READ.
MATH IS POWER READ MATH IS POWER READ MATH IS POWER READ **** MATH STOP READING **** MATH STOP READING **** MATH STOP READING
The government just wants to turn us all into robots. Mathbots, wordbots. They want us to be psycho obsessed from childhood with knowledge, words, and numbers. They want us to be like this so we can make the whole mass that is America more powerful, so we can go invent something that other countries need and will buy and somehow the money will end up making the people who run the country fat and happy. They want us to slave over books and equations, only stupid people want to go out and dance and have fun. DONT BE STUPID, dont have FUN. If you dont feel guilty while your ****ing your wife you dont have enough work to do. Invent something, the greatest people are the people who have no lives and who spend the majority of there days just staring at books and numbers. I think those people have been brainwashed or are dumb. I think country folk who drink beer and **** goats are smarter than some fucn introverted **** making math equations that are going to blow up the world. JUST MY OPINION. No, I really like the fact that books, math, and my "future" were the main driving points of my childhood. Im so happy that I never wanted to **** around with girls because there were books to be read, math to be solved, and computers to be understood for the benefit of my FUTURE. Well, my future can go to hell for all I care. Give me a ******* break, a beer, and a beautiful ditzy nymphomaniac who worships me like a god.
I like the old saying ignorance is bliss, but I dont really believe in ignorance. All I believe in is bliss. And I believe in not obsessing over dumb meaningless **** that doesnt change anything except the number of ways you can hate the world.
**** math, and definately **** the atom. I can do without low-level radiation sickness thanks.
All that being said I need to get back to work. And I should really go read that damn book on maya character rigging just to see if there is a way I can increase my efficiency and get some company to give me 5 bucks more an hour for showing my mad skill. And I'll have to use math to determine ratios between keyframes for animation. God, math and words have set me FREE, FREE to be a slave and theres no way I can change it!!!
If there is one thing I know FOR SURE. Its that a million years from now when humanity has been off in the stars exploring meaningless ****, generally causing problems, and bringing the whole ******* place near catastrophe several times over. WE WILL, AND I FUCN SWEAR IT, WE WILL COME BACK TO EARTH, PLANT SOME ASPENS BY A RIVER, AND JUST CHILL IN THE SUNLIGHT WITH AN APPLE AND OUR FAVORITE FRIEND. And we will let diseases kill us, and we will let wolves kill us, and we will get rid of knives, and guns, and we will use our superlarge brains to just enjoy the place. We'll write poetry, make paintings, etc and so on. But some stupid **** will come along, once again, and he'll say, wow, I wonder whats out there. And the happy people will say, hmm, I wonder whats out there. And then the stupid **** will say, lets put a rocket into space. And the happy people will say, but why? Were happy here, and the ******* stupid **** will convince them to want to go to space. TO obsess over it like robots, convincing themselves yet again, that the contentment of being here, enjoying life, is somehow unfulfilling. And it will all start over again. Murder, war, slavery, greed, etc etc etc, until we figure out in another million what we figured out a million years ago. But one day we will figure out that the universe will always be full of mystery, thats the beauty of it. WE CAN NEVER UNDERSTAND IT ALL, WE CAN NEVER SEE IT ALL. Its too big to ever figure out. Its to complex to understand, its beyond us.
And once again: **** THE ATOM!