Funniest Song Lyrics Ever??

[Duncan]

Don't ask!!

Silverback - Monkey Lover, taken from "Clubbed - Summer Collection Mixed by Judge Jules"

Quote:

I've got a big monkey, and i'm gonna show you my monkey, I wanna spank my monkey, and you're gonna watch me spank my monkey, cos you're a monkey lover You like it when I spank my monkey, I know you do, Cos you're a monkey lover Oooh Nice, Yeeeeah Look at my monkey Do you like looking at my monkey? you like it when I spank monkey, are you looking at my monkey? Quit looking at my monkey... You want my monkey don't you, Monkey Lover, Monkey Lover! Oooh nice, You like that I know you Do!

If anyone can beat that, well... I'll take my hat off to you!! (would help if i was wearing a hat... but... you know what I mean

)

 

[zoboomofo]

"Sit right back. Don't you cry.

If an egg can fit in there, why can't I?

Ohhh. Mmmm. My little chicken."


-Adam Sandler.

 

[jaskin]

It's got to be Afroman's "Because I got high"

 

[jude]

In the April 2001 Stereophile, there was an article about the Austin Lounge Lizards, and it included some of the lyrics from a few of their songs. The lyrics they included from a song caled Old Blevins literally had me in tears just reading them -- I'm laughing out loud reading them again now!

I listened to the song, and it was funny, but I didn't like the music as much as Stereophile's Wes Phillips did (maybe I just have to give them more of a listen). But anyway, here are the complete lyrics to Old Blevins.

Quote:

"Old Blevins" (Conrad Deisler/Hank Card) Hot Twang/Highway Cafe Music We had a little quarrel, she and I She told me just to curl up and die I crept out to drown my sorrows At a joint called No Tomorrows When the old man came and looked me in the eye Old Blevins I could tell he had some wisdom to impart Some story that was etched and burned and stamped upon his heart And his eyes began to glisten 'Cause he knew that I would listen We sat there at that bar 'til nearly three And this is what Old Blevins said to me He said "Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah In Tijuana blah blah blah back in 1963 Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah You should have been there blah blah blah Is what Old Blevins said to me I sat there and I listened to his words As they flapped around my head like little birds Had he gone plumb 'round the bend Or could I just not comprehend His lips were writing lines I could not read When suddenly, it all came clear to me He said "Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Them crazy hippies blah blah blah blah no effect on me Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah The great depression blah blah blah And he would not let me be Old Blevins was still talking as I seized my chance to flee Back home she's never known I'm not the fool I used to be But I know that a man and woman's lives were somehow changed By a loathesome toothless geezer, incoherent and deranged And my memories of that evening fuel an inner mounting fear That I might become Old Blevins any where that they sell beer And I'll say "Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah I don't remember blah blah blah blah blah blah Mistakes were made Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah How 'bout them Cowboys? blah blah blah Like Old Blevins used to say Old Blevins

 

[sackley]

How about some Westside Connection:

"Irresistable b****, let's go!"
"Where we goin?"
"Westward ho!"

That is the main chorus. I always found it funny.