[Fenster]

Okay people, let's hear it. What's the craziest or funniest line you've ever heard a child utter (for those of you who have kids, this will be easy, i'm sure you have hundreds).

To set the ball rolling, let me tell you that I work with kids at my job, so I get to hear them in their natural habitat, which is, of course, around other kids. One little second-grade boy in particular, we'll call him "McG", blows my mind almost daily with his quotable one-liners. I swear to god, some of the **** that comes out of this boy's mouth...

Example: On a field trip one day, I'm sitting in the front passenger seat of the van we use to bus the kids around, having a discussion with a couple of kids in the back. I was talking to them about my belief that just because someone does bad things sometimes, it doesn't make them a bad person, and that everyone has at least a little bit of good inside them. Just then McG pipes up from the back seat, "Not me." Everybody turns around. "I'm bad inside and out." Then he turns back toward the window, watches the passing scenery outside, and says under his breath "god, I hate this town."

Oh, yeah, and a little girl in kindergarten once called me a "mother****ing *******."

Kids can be so cute sometimes.

 

[vwap]

Quote:

Originally posted by Fenster Oh, yeah, and a little girl in kindergarten once called me a "mother****ing *******."

I can't find a quotable right now of my little brother.. I'm sure I have tons.. but if I ever heard that out of my little brother?.. I'd take a bar of soap and shove it in his mouth.

 

[Flasken]

Quote:

Originally posted by Fenster Example: On a field trip one day, I'm sitting in the front passenger seat of the van we use to bus the kids around, having a discussion with a couple of kids in the back. I was talking to them about my belief that just because someone does bad things sometimes, it doesn't make them a bad person, and that everyone has at least a little bit of good inside them. Just then McG pipes up from the back seat, "Not me." Everybody turns around. "I'm bad inside and out." Then he turns back toward the window, watches the passing scenery outside, and says under his breath "god, I hate this town."

[size=medium]ROFFLMFAO!!![/size]

Man, I'd kill to have been there when he said that...

 

[minya]

Quote:

Originally posted by Fenster I swear to god, some of the **** that comes out of this boy's mouth...

You need to get that checked, sir. I remember when I had feces spewing out of my mouth as a little boy, my mom took me to the doctor immediately. It was reasonably easy to fix, but I haven't forgotten the taste to this day.

- Chris

 

[Pepsione1]

One morning after I woke up I decided to go see my sister's newborn baby in the next room. As I approah to her crib, all of a sudden she started talking to me. She literally told me bug off but in a complete sentence of more than 6 words. She pronounced each word with accuracy like adult would and she was starring into my eyes when she said it. The amazing thing was, she was only 2 months old.

I thought I was still dreaming or something but my mom was sitting right next to her and we were both stunned. She continued say different things during different times for the 2 months they stayed and we just couldn't believe it. Although she mostly speaked when she was bugged and she knows exactly what & how to say it. We still couldn't believe a 2 month old baby knows how to say so much. She is a smart one and she is doing well in school right now so I happy for my sister.

 

[CRESCENDOPOWER]

My mother once told me that when I was a small child the toliet wouldn't flush. I just looked at it, and said, " It must be the power steering." A week later there was a cartoon picture in the paper with a naked baby next to the toliet making the same statement. I wonder if my parents had anything to do with that?

 

[raymondlin]

Quote:

From The Mouths of Babes...

I thought you mean Hot women!

 

[wallijonn]

Ray!

ROTFLMAO!

you dirty old man. (me, too).

 

[eric343]

http://www.rinkworks.com/said/kidquotes.shtml
http://www.rinkworks.com/said/kidlove.shtml
http://www.rinkworks.com/said/kidscience.shtml

 

[wallijonn]

thanks, eric

I gave a gold bracelet to a friend. her daughter later took a pair of scissors to it and cut it in half. when asked why she did such a thing, she said, "You didn't tell me not to".

i had to explain to the mother what was really done.

 

[Fenster]

Here's another one...

One of my coworkers today reminded me of this story involving the same kid I talked about before, "McG."

One day last summer we took a group of kids to a Nashville Sounds (AAA minor league team) baseball game. McG was having a lot of fun heckling the players and when a player on the opposing team struck out, he shouted "a woman with no arms could hit better than you!"

At that moment, one of my coworkers tapped me on the shoulder and pointed six or seven rows in front of us. There was a woman sitting there. She had no arms.

The thing is, we know that this kid wasn't referring to the lady, he wasn't even looking in her direction. That's just the kind of whacked-out remark McG would make off the top of his head.

 

[Onix]

Quote:

Originally posted by Pepsione1 One morning after I woke up I decided to go see my sister's newborn baby in the next room. As I approah to her crib, all of a sudden she started talking to me. She literally told me bug off but in a complete sentence of more than 6 words. She pronounced each word with accuracy like adult would and she was starring into my eyes when she said it. The amazing thing was, she was only 2 months old. I thought I was still dreaming or something but my mom was sitting right next to her and we were both stunned. She continued say different things during different times for the 2 months they stayed and we just couldn't believe it. Although she mostly speaked when she was bugged and she knows exactly what & how to say it. We still couldn't believe a 2 month old baby knows how to say so much. She is a smart one and she is doing well in school right now so I happy for my sister.

My kid is prone to long rants when we don't allow him to do something fun (dangerous), like climbing the stairs or jump head first from his crib. It's ussually like this "papa, data tada ta, (offending person´s name) itty, ttytti da", repeating for several times if he's really mad.

 

[BDA_ABAT]

My son was an early talker. But, things didn't always come out perfectly at a very early age. For a while, he had trouble pronouncing the letter "L".

One day during this period, we were just walking around the local mall, having a lovely time. He's holding my hand, smiling and pointing and announcing the name of everything that he sees. I'm just as proud as a dad can be. Then, he looks up and spots a very large tower clock inside the atrium. Of course, once he sees this, he SHOUTS, "Daddy! (L)Oook at that HUGE ****!! I've never seen a **** that big before. (L)OOOOOK!"

"Yes, son. That is an impressive CLOCK. It's a beautiful CLOCK. Look at the time! We should be getting home now."

"Daddy, when we get home, we have GOT to tell Mommy about the HUGE **** we saw!"

Gotta love him.

Bruce

 

[BDA_ABAT]

One of my nephews was singing a Christmas carol when he was ~ 18 months old or so. He didn't quite hear the song properly. No matter. He was belting out, "Jangle balls, jangle balls, jangle all the way!!!"

Same nephew, listening to the radio, recognized a song that my wife (Allison) liked. He coulnd't say "Allison" well, so he called her Alli, instead. Also had some difficulty pronouncing some other words as well. Anyway, when this song starts playing, he gets all excited and says, "Hey! This is Alli mucus!" He never understood why everyone around him started laughing so hard.

Other nephew was in the bath. Told his mom that he was almost done, just needed to finish washing his Army pits.


Bruce

 

[BDA_ABAT]

pepsi1: 2 months is WAAAYYY early to start talking!!! Gotta be freaky to hear that coming from such a little one.

And, for those of you that are parents or know people who are parents, you understand what's next... another story about my kid...

When my son was ~ 13 months, we went on vacation with family. My nephews (who were ~ 6 and 7 at the time) were having a great time asking my son to say things (e.g., Nephew 1: "Hey Scott! Say pickle!" My son would do his best to mimic what the nephew said). Anyway, my son loved the attention he was getting and loved showing off his verbal skills. Great!

After doing this all day, we get a bit of a break by going to a local fair. My nephew wins a stuffed octopus at one of the booths. He gives it to my son. Of course, the nephew asks him to say "octopus". I hear this happening, and start walking away, knowing that there's no way the kid can do it. Silly me. My son blurts out the word "octopus" as clear as day. My wife and I looked at each other with the same things coming out of our mouths, "Did you hear that? Did he really just say that???".

Bruce