[Spareribs]

I'm reading the book How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Canegie. And there is a passage:

“Everybody in the world is seeking happiness—and there is one sure way to find it. That is by controlling your thoughts. Happiness doesn’t depend on outward conditions. It depends on inner conditions.”

(Excerpt From: Carnegie, Dale. “How To Win Friends & Influence People.")

I think there is truth to that. Of course, outside conditions do make a difference but enjoying the small simple things in life can bring happiness too. Like a walk in the park, a delicious sandwich, a cool breeze in the afternoon, etc....

So yeah, maybe happiness can be found inside even if you're not good at anything and never achieved anything impressive in life. You might just a so and so average ugly Joe but I think it's still possible to discover incredible joy even if no one else around you cares.

 

[ProtegeManiac]

Quote:

“Everybody in the world is seeking happiness—and there is one sure way to find it. That is by controlling your thoughts. Happiness doesn’t depend on outward conditions. It depends on inner conditions.”

(Excerpt From: Carnegie, Dale. “How To Win Friends & Influence People.")

 

My mother gave me a copy of that book and a few chapters in I realized I already read it before - it's actually just rehashed from Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics, which I read for Philosophy 104 and Political Science 198/199 - the university I attended requires 12units of Philosphy, 101 to 104, for every student regardless of their major, which people think is "useless" (plus social science students need to take six units at least of social/political/economic theory). I'll summarize Aristotle's Ethics as follows to resemble that quote more:

 

 

1. Happiness as the key to human existance. An ultimate end must be self-sufficient and final, “that which is always desirable in itself and never for the sake of something else.” He isn't even arguing that we should aim for happiness itself, but that we actually do, even if we're wrong about what makes us happy, like those who think that just owning things is (even collectors aren't made happy just accumulating the stuff, the real joy is in their pursuit of each item). The problem is how we understand happiness today, which is basically a passing subjective sensation, whereas in Greek the word eudaimonia translates better as "fulfillment." To the Greeks, that is what makes happiness - riding East on Bucephalus and astride one's Hetairoi as you smash one army after another is fulfillment, the feelings from getting drunk with said Hetairoi is only joy or euphoria.

 

2. Happiness comes from Virtue. Virtue is still similar to what we know today but more of how we dish it out - one must know when to do or not. One must show Courage in the face of fear, but still recognize folly. Temperance against pleasures is necessary but it isn't abstinence either. Generosity consists giving the right amounts at the appropriate opportunities to do so, not all the time as to impoverish oneself and may not do so for long. Magnanimity means knowing what one deserves, but it isn't base pride. Patience doesn't mean being the doormat, but knowing when to hold it in and when to unleash it to achieve a desired effect. Virtue guides us to true happiness, and is something that needs to be taught to people as young as possible so that they be inculcated and internalized better.

 

Examples (positive and negative) based on Alexander:
1. Courage in knowing he could tame Bucephalus because he studied his behaviour well enough, and saw how it was more stressed at certain angles and realizing it didn't recognize its own shadow; folly and impetuousness is if he tried to mount him before soothing him first. It was the same thing when he fought Persian armies outnumbered in one way or absolutely by studying their weakness and doing the unexpected: forcing a river crossing at the Granicus and catching the Persians and Greek mercenaries off-guard; turning around and fighting at a terrain of his choosing at Issus where the superior Greek infantry can fight Persians one at a time instead of getting flanked, and then opening a path for his cavalry to get behind them; and not attack the Persians at night, leaving them lacking sleep expecting such an attack, and then employing the same elite infantry strike to punch a hole in the lines for cavalry to bust into to strike Darius at Gaugamela.

 

2. Temperance in that Alexander was also sometimes drunk as hell, but he wasn't too enamored with the idea of blowing all his gold on wine. If anything he was just up for it because he wasn't really into hoarding riches and also enjoyed drinking, it's just that this lifestyle was not an end goal but a distraction to him. The one time he fully gave in to drink, he drunkenly burned down Persepolis.

 

3. Generosity in dishing out gold to the cities of Greece, but without totally rendering the conquered poor. They would just pay tribute if they surrendered, the same way that his defeat of Darius made him Emperor of all Persia by right of conquest and so Persepolis welcomed him (think of this like declaring Open City status today). Plunder was only really allowed when cities resisted and caused a time consuming siege, such as Tyr (when Alexander only asked that he be able to visit the Herculean shrine), and as such Egypt surrendered out of sheer terror at what the Greeks would do as well as them suddenly being there by their doorstep (such marching speed by infantry armies was not beaten until the Marian reforms to the Roman Army).

 

4.  Magnanimity in that Alexander recognized enough that he deserved more, as when Philip himself declared Macedonia too small a kingdom for him (when he tamed Bucephalus at only eleven or so), but instead of just claiming he deserved more and sent his generals out to get these for him, he went out to take them himself. He wasn't like Hitler hiding back home thinking of glory, Alexander was out there living it, to the point that he very nearly died in battle several times. That he didn't - much like Patton not getting hit by artillery exploding all around him as he was sightseeing the middle of the Italian campaign - only bolstered his belief that he should go and get more (I suppose the idea of a limit finally hit him when he went down with malaria thanks to his Indian campaign).

 

5. Patience in dealing with captured Persian royalty and nobles - he married one of Darius' daughters and treated his whole family well (all captured at Issues); but when Darius' cousin, Bessus the Satrap of Bactria continued to raise armies after assassinating Darius, he has him brutally and publicly executed.

 

 

 

3. Virtue does not rely on external factors. A man is only as virtuous as he chooses to be. Vices may be partly involuntary, but you can choose to not pick up that shot glass or the next one, but each one you take is a choice to be less capable of resisting the next (at least until you black out, or black out and crash your car). Incontinence (not about the bowel movement, but with something like rage or compulsion) is worse since you were otherwise instructed on what virtue is but you ignore it. Doing immoral things under duress may be forgiven, but it's still a weakness.

 

---

 

And then on the social value, since it is a social and political philosophy:

 

4. Justice encompasses all Virtue, and from that comes happiness. If we are all virtuous, which generally means none are prone to excess nor to want what we do not deserve, then there can be justice. In such a state will all being virtuous all are "fulfilled," or genuinely happy - basically, a practical guide to creating a Utopia (though Aristotle does not phrase it as such, primarily because it is attainable). By contrast for example Plato starts not just with instruction but what we would later recognize as genetics, which of course at a time without genetic engineering is reducible to fanciful elitism, especially since his example of how to produce the best humans is simply to have the most capable men and women mate by lottery (it needs to be said here that Plato actually values women more not just as mothers who impart traits to or for raising children, but acknowledges their capability in their own right, at least a lot more than Aristotle). Of course, with genetics possibly taking out genes that predispose people to laziness, gluttony, or a myriad of medical conditions, Plato is even more relevant now than before, just not necessarily that we toss out Aristotle.

 

[moriez]

It's all in the mind.

 

[wink]

How to win friends and influence your enemies - vote with your wallet...........   

 

[JK1]

Happiness is derived from focusing on and appreciating what you have. The popular media tries to get you to focus on what you don't have, which causes discontent and depression.

 

[BobG55]

Happiness is a byproduct of my actions and ridding myself of the ego by taking interest in others, what goes on around me, living in the moment, doing things for others, being grateful, focusing on the fact that I have everything I need instead of what I want.

 

[Spareribs]

Yeah good points. Living in the moment is a strong point. Addressing the popular media thing, we live in a society of consumerism and that can encourage the feeling of lack. When we develope that feeling of lack it can diminish that sense of satisfaction. Although I do love consumerism, there can be that down side of feeling lack. But removing that sense of lack, you can develop that incredible sense of being alive and being glad to be alive can be a powerful wonderful feeling.

 

[MermaidMan]

You cannot control your feelings, but you can somewhat control your thoughts. I recently learned this in a class I am taking, and although very simple, I find it is very powerful. You decide what to make of your feelings and whether or not to act on behalf of your feelings. There is a trend these days towards doing 'what feels right'. Unfortunately, for the US, this has led to a generation of reckless, unhappy people. True happiness comes when you appreciate what you have and you are happy for not only yourself, but the others around you who can share your happiness. 

 

[crazychile]

Don't sweat the petty things.
But it's ok to pet the sweaty things.

 

[heatofamatch]

  There is a trend these days towards doing 'what feels right'. Unfortunately, for the US, this has led to a generation of reckless, unhappy people.

 
A lot of sources say people should do that, and I find it's incorrect to read it simply @ face value as 'do whatever feels good'. Maybe I just happen to have a very strong sense of what feels right for me -- sometimes that voice calls for restraint, perhaps, wants me to go against my feeling, or wants me to do the one thing I hate in the moment, but it would turn out to be correct.
 
You're here to find your own brand of joy. Not what a guru says it should be, although the universe may give you a hint via said guru's mouth, it is not asking you to follow all of his other work for 20 years. Try to figure out when not to give something/someone air time in your life. I know how that sounds but I think that's a big clue towards happiness in this day and age, because being overtly open to other voices can be very fatiguing.
 
The trick is to train your hunch somehow, or your perception, ability to read between the lines, until you can tell -- beyond any objective parameter -- what's more likely to be a good fit for you, and not succumb to things like "oh that thing's S/N ratio is better by three decibels." Which might be true, but may also have zero bearing on whether it'll make you happy.