[AndyRx7]

Background...

I'm a professional student (law), this is my 7th year of school. I used to be seriously easy-going, never worried about much, was ultra-confident, etc... in short, stress was not an issue, particulary during my undergrad. I had total confidence that I would prevail with stellar results in anything. During grad school, I worked my ass off like never before, did very well, but about halfway through I developed a very bad 'habit' of feeling really bad anxiety to the point where I sometimes could hardly concentrate, was worrying like crazy, and had trouble sleeping at night. This lasted about 2 months. Somehow I worked through this, with the help of my infinitely patient girlfriend, and ended up getting even better grades after that period that I did at first. However, it really scared me, because I had never felt like that before. Subsequently, the feeling went away and I've been feeling good for about a year.

Anyways, fast-forward to now, so far in law school I've been working really hard, and have not been feeling stressed at all, in fact I think less than most of my collegues. Part of that is probably because I live w/ the most wonderful girl in the world, and she basically takes total care of me lol, so I don't have to worry about much. All of a sudden, I got hit with a bunch of added work due to volunteer commitments, at a really bad time (assignments, exams in 2 weeks)... and all of a sudden I'm starting to feel like I did a year and a half ago. Today I worked about 8 hours, took a break for dinner, and when I came back I could hardly concentrate, couldn't read a thing. It's a familiar feeling - sort of like a tightness in my chest, and feeling like I can't relax. I know this is a warning sign, and I dread heading back down the road I was on before.

I know that this is a sign that I need to take a break, spend time w/ my girlfriend, relax, etc... the problem is it's particularly the wrong time of year for that lol. It's totally impossible to have a 'normal' weekend, whatsoever - there's massive piles of work to do. To top it off, I don't get nearly enough sleep, probably about 5-6 hours a night, which is not enough for me.

Has anyone felt like this before? It's like my body just generates anxiety, and although I understand it's not productive, that I should stop worrying, that it won't get me anywhere, and that I'll do better if I relax and just do what I have to do, it's like my concious self can't reassert control. It gets very hard to concentrate on work, I lose my natural curiosity, I lose my critical thinking ability... it's not good.

It leads me to question why I decided to go to school for 10 years, get 4 degrees, just so I can end up working long hours at a job later... as soon as the 'stress hits' it's like I want out - makes me feel like I should run away, forget about all this, and be a ski bum or something (which I've always wanted to do). Particularly, it makes me feel like I've made some kind of mistake, and that if I could do it again I wouldn't go for so much 'on paper' success, but rather just aim to be happy. It makes me feel like I have my priorities mixed up.

Does anyone have any tips? What do you do in these situations?

 

[Kenny12]

i would also like help doing ee, stressing over tests yet i can't bring myself to study

 

[AndyRx7]

seriously - the more stressed I am, it gets way harder to study (when I'm totally relaxed, I can work 10 times faster)

 

[mjg]

crashing and burning happens man, though life throws stuff at you, and sometimes wether you have a choice (or gave that choice up apparantly) you need to step up to the plate, and just do it. Everyone gets the stress. What should set you aside from others is your capacity at dealing with stress, and your integrity in stress condition. That's what coping is all about (they even got a word for it!)

Your anxiety can be looked, as a waste of energy and time. Given that you are somewhat battle tested in your present type of situation (student) you should be to some degree capable of atleast minimal results despite how much gets thrown at you, though optimial is doubtful if your being very stressed especially. Since life is rather imperfect in timing, there's always going to be periods like this where your really going to get pushed... I call that experience i guess. You see the challenge and you do it.

I see you as lucky in the sense you have a girlfriend in a time where finding one certainly isn't easy, you also seem to have a knack for getting yourself out of trouble in the past... Do not fool yourself into feeling you are no longer capable of what you've done in the past. That is impossible, unless you've been injured in someway... Though like you say, stress is testing you, and since you don't seem very broken right now, just stick up your guns and battle it out until it's finished.

My whole life i feel i've been tested and failed to the point no where i longer fear the failing. The failing actually is what it took to make me as strong as i am now, and though i may seem to loosen at the seams during stress situation, i have the newly found gut feeling that i'm made for what i do, and i know i can do it. I think you probablly know that feeling too, yet you question it for some reason?


So i feel this is just something psychologically you need to get over, and maybe the reason your going through this doubt phase is because of something else that's really bothering you?


Not trying to analyze you, but it's just a thought.

 

[AndyRx7]

Thanks for the advice. Sticking to my guns is definitely the plan.

You may be right about the 'doubt'. I think part of it is that I'm questioning whether all the exam-type stress is worth it, because the opportunity cost of being at school seems higher than it was before. The biggest thing is that my relationship is so good that I feel like I really would love to spend more quality time w/ my girlfriend, rather than spending every night and weekend working constantly while she does something else 10 feet away from me. I think it would be easy for me to get a decent job, we'd have a pretty good combined income (she's out of school, working) and we could spend more time together at night / weekends, have a more 'normal' life, and maybe I'd be happier.

Recently, some of my friends and my sister have gotten engaged, and I'm thinking more about how long I'm going to have to wait before 'settling down' if you know what I mean. Sometimes I want to say screw it and just have that now; I mean I'm almost as old as my parents were when they had me, and I won't be in that position for a long time.

 

[Jahn]

in law school, just keep up with studies, chill, and only have justifiable panic attacks right before exam time. everything else is gravy and that degree will have long legs no matter where you land.

the WORST anxiety is the 3-month hell non-stop studying for the Bar. you will NOT have a life, and every day it's full tilt garbage crammed in your skull that you better remember by the end of 3 months just in case it pops up randomly on the test.

but you'll sweat that later. for now, enjoy law school - it will be the last time you can chill as a student for a long time, before work grinds ya down. take it easy and get alot of sleep if you can!

 

[mjg]

Yea, i can see the reasons why you can be dissastisfied with your present situaton, on it's context alone and not the bigger picture... Yet don't forget what you sought out to do, and how far you have come.

To quit now might be worse in the long run. You can see it as setting yourself free, but how much would you resent your fast relief when you gave up your work and did not complete your tasks? Well, that question is answered only when you realize what's truly important i guess..

Appreciate can easily solve a problem like this. If you really appreciate where you are now and what your fortunate to have, i think you can muster the motivation you need to shake it off and finish up lawschool, take the bar, and become an attorney. My father was married and had me by the time he was my age as well... Actually, he's an attorney also, he was already a DA at my age... I'm stll an undergraduate (though in cse)

I i can always remember, i'm not my father, and i'm doing something totally different then him. Also, i can appreciate my own hardships for what they are, and be proud that i've came so far. Everyone has their own pace and priorities.


Just put things in perspective then remember what you really want. Best advice i can give.

 

[AndyRx7]

Thanks for the great advice guys. Much appreciated!!

Jahn, are you a lawyer?

 

[Jahn]

Quote:

Originally Posted by AndyRx7 Thanks for the great advice guys. Much appreciated!! Jahn, are you a lawyer?

every time folks ask me that i answer with "sorta"

yep, went there, did that, still a member of the bar and doing my CLEs like a good boy, but what i'm doing for work doesn't require a legal background - helpful to have, but i'm in the world of compliance now, not law. law overlaps with tons of fields out there, including compliance, and more specifically, ethics (my thang), so the stuff you're doing now will help you "think like a lawyer" and approach things in an anal way which folks seem to like. again, that has long legs so you should suck it up now and the payoff is nice and drawn out later.

 

[crazyfrenchman27]

Drugs, legal or otherwise.

-Matt

 

[Edwood]

Listen to headphones.

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LOL, I'm the first to post this advice?

-Ed

 

[LFF]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Edwood Listen to headphones. . . . . . . LOL, I'm the first to post this advice? -Ed

Good point Ed! That is exactly what I do. I have finals in 2 weeks (1L). My wonderful girlfriend helps me keep my head on during these times. When I get too stressed - I spend some time with her and then listen to a little music. All seems right afterwards and I move on with the books.

Women and Music - All I need now is a little wine.

 

[Jmmmmm]

So what is the specific cause of your stress? In medical school, our biggest stress is managing the massive amount of material that is thrown at us. It is very easy to go crazy and freak out about how much you have to do and how little time there is to do it in. But like you said, staying calm is the most important thing. Believing that you can do it is essential in actually being able to do it.

The biggest thing that keeps me sane on a daily basis, and especially in the weeks leading up to an exam, is making a schedule. Without it, it's easy for me to feel like it's impossible to get it all done. Before my last set of exams, I had my days planned for about the 2 1/2 weeks prior. That way, I knew how much work I had to get done each day, and as long as that amount was feasible, there was really nothing to stress about. When I schedule the individual days (hourly), I always give myself a little more time than I actually need to finish something. That way, when finish earlier than scheduled, I feel like I'm getting ahead of the game, which is good for the confidence, and therefore good for my studying.

I mean, if you break the material down into manageable chunks, it becomes reasonable and less stressful. The people that don't do that can have a hard time because they're always looking at the big picture (a scary picture). It also helps to talk to other people in my class, and realize that I'm not alone, that we're all in the same boat.

Quote:

It leads me to question why I decided to go to school for 10 years, get 4 degrees, just so I can end up working long hours at a job later...

I know exactly how you feel...

 

[MuZI]

One thing my Anatomy and Phsy teach taught me was that 15 minutes of meditation a day helps with situations like that.

Go ahead and try it..

 

[The Monkey]

Andy, what year are you in LS?

One thing I found around exam time is that I needed to carefully monitor my caffeine intake. It was tempting for me to just make pot after pot, but that tended to add to my anxiety and led to crashes. Of course, stopping cold turkey also was not an option, so I made myself drink only 2-3 cups a day and drank water when I had coffee cravings.

If you don't drink coffee the above is still useful: up your water intake. It will help.

Also, I happen to think that if you aren't anxious about law school exams, then you're doing something wrong. The key is to manage the stress. MuZI is right, try some meditation or breathing exercises. They can be very useful, and will improve your efficiency.

Finally, try to get more sleep. If you are fully rested, you will study much better. I've found that 6 hours of study time on 8 hours of sleep is much more productive than 8 hours of study time on 6 hours of sleep. Of course, not everyone has the luxury of 8 hours, but try to get as close as possible.

Er, finally again, try to get your hands on some of your profs' prior exams.

Good luck, you'll make it! Keep us posted.