I think some wise soul at Head-Fi ran through some of the basics for insertion. I love my E6is and use the tri-flanges exclusively. Here's how I get my seal:
1. Start with any ear... I always go left first.
2. Lick lightly the end of the tip (gross I know, but it works)... wont need to do this every time, just at the start of your listening session.
3. Pull down on your earlobe so your ear canal opens up and VERY GENTLY push the phone into your ear canal. Like turbo said, it should sound like you're underwater as canalphones should isolate sound anyway without music.
4. Repeat with the other ear. The key, for me at least, is pulling down hard on your earlobe to open up your ear canal.
5. Turn the music on SOFTLY and build up the volume. If you hear the sound thinning or noises from outside, give the canalphones and bit of a push and a twist or repeat step 3/4.
After a while you'll start getting a great seal, just takes a bit of practice. For me that was driven by a screaming kid at 30,000 ft flying from SF to Singapore. E6i's were bliss. No help on the equalizer, though I'd be interestd on your thoughts on how the E6i's perform with the Zen Touch as it's on the wish list.